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Old 01-16-2008, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822

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I see a lot of posts that appear to be parents touting their superior parenting skills or the accomplishments of their children. We all do that, so do not get all defensive. What I am wondering is what to you think are the qualities of an ideal parent and an ideal child.

Is an ideal child the best athlete, the best student, the most successful on a career path, someone who gets through high school in two years and college in three? Is it the prettiest girl, or the handsomest boy? Perhaps it is the child who chooses their niche and becomes the best at it whatever it is? It is the champion in a single area or the well rounded kid who is pretty good at lots of things and excellent at nothing? Is it a kid who is just happy with herself and where she is in life?

I tend to think that I would rather have my child be considered the nicest boy in school than the smartest, fastest, best baseball player or whatever. What do you think?

What is the best parent? A parent who is most involved in their kids lives? A parent who avoids over involvement and allows their children to grow on their own? A parent who is their child's best friend? A strict disciplinarian? A distant parent who teaches by example? The parent who provides the most money and opportunities for their child? An "expert" psychologist who applies all of the newest studies and techniques to parenting? What do you think is the ideal parent?


Oh and please do not post diatribes designed to demonstrate that you are a better parent than the rest of us or that your kids turned out better than any others. That position is already taken. I am the best dad that there ever was, and my kids are the best children that exist, so do not even bother.
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:25 PM
 
Location: Back in MADISON Wi thank God!
1,047 posts, read 3,235,848 times
Reputation: 1382
I would never consider myself the best parent by any means.I make alot of mistakes and constantly try to remind myself to do better.What I do know is that I love my three children unconditionally,I marval at their accomplishments,am amazed with their talents,and feel rewarded by their kindness.They ware me out,stress me out,and make me crazy.Together,we are the perfect combination and we have a loving,fun,busy,life that can only get better as we learn more about each other and how to bring out the best qualities in each of us.
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Old 01-16-2008, 06:39 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX & AL Gulf Coast
6,848 posts, read 9,815,615 times
Reputation: 33334
Well, parenting is probably the hardest job you'll ever have and you are awarded it without any training, skills and/or experience! So, guess what? You learn by doing... trying everyday to be the best you can be at it... knowing that you are failing in many, many ways.

To me, the successful parents are the parents that have raised their "successful" children to be independent, self-aware, confident and happy adults that are capable of overcoming every mistake we made to and for them along the way!
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Old 01-16-2008, 08:30 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 14,981,673 times
Reputation: 8014
I don't think there is such thing as best parent or best child. I think if a parent found a way to communicate with his/her child, found a common ground and understanding and inspired their child to be the best they can be, then this parent had done her job.

I would rather have an open honest relationship with my son and I would rather see him grow up honest and kind, then smart and strong (although smart and strong would be nice as well).

This is what I'm striving for anyway...
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Old 01-16-2008, 08:52 PM
 
8,240 posts, read 14,894,928 times
Reputation: 3651
I think the best kids are the ones who are happy with themselves...they try their best, they learn from their mistakes, they know how to make and keep friends. The best parents are the one who remind their kids that they aren't the center of the universe..they teach by example. They have unconditional love.
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Old 01-18-2008, 08:45 PM
 
Location: Northern VA (for now)
23,000 posts, read 31,942,334 times
Reputation: 30372
I think the best parents are the ones who get their kids to be productive in society and the best children are the ones who appericate and thank the parents for making them productive.
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Old 01-18-2008, 10:38 PM
 
180 posts, read 887,585 times
Reputation: 162
Well, I guess I wasn't the best parent, I made a lot of mistakes. But we don't get the report card until it's too late.....

My oldest boy was an average, "C" student, never worked up to his potential in school, didn't like football but he got his athlete's letter in bullriding, worked part time while in school at his own insistence and I worried about him turning out o.k.

After his kids were born, I knew that he not only turned out o.k. but that he was a huge success. He is the best father I have ever known.
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Old 01-19-2008, 07:45 AM
 
Location: FL
1,943 posts, read 7,626,018 times
Reputation: 2236
I personally think there's no "best" parent, and anyone who claims to be that is full of crap. And I'm a parent of 2! I think there are parents that try to be the best parent they can be...but, we are only human. Which means not one of us is perfect and we all make mistakes and pick the wrong choices...even if we think they are right, they could be and are at times wrong.

There is no best parent, I have to repeat. We do what's best and hope it works. And what works for some might not work for all. Children are their own individuals and despite great parents, may turn into horrible young adults, and with the worst parents, the children may turn into leaders. You can't even control a child- only to a certain extent. you can't control their mind and emotions. Learning from mistakes and not making them again, trying to instill respect by showing it, helping a child to become a role model by modeling it yourself is being a good parent, but of course we're going to make mistakes. There are no best parents. Just people trying to do the best.
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Old 01-19-2008, 09:51 AM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822
Triplewillow, I guess you were a great parent after all. You must have done something right.
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Old 01-19-2008, 11:31 AM
 
180 posts, read 887,585 times
Reputation: 162
Coldjensens,

thank you for the compliment but I don't deserve it. All three of my blood children and 2 fosters got the same environment, same opportunities, same home style.

The one is a fantastic father. One can't have children, has been restless and only now at 27 settling into responsibility, the foster's are doing great as family men but have struggled with a number of issues, and my youngest is being released from prison this spring.

Sometimes I think it's a crap shoot. *sigh*

But thanks for being so kind.

TW
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