U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-31-2008, 11:08 AM
 
Location: Lehigh Valley
1,030 posts, read 3,797,525 times
Reputation: 426

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by regarese View Post
"Reproductive snobbery"...LOVE IT!!!
Too funny!!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-31-2008, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,451,665 times
Reputation: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by kshe95girl View Post
I for one, am on the opposite end of the scale, I have one child. I am soooooo tired of moms with more than one telling me I am not a "real" mom, because I just have one. Whats that about? Reproductive snobbery? Its nobody's business, period.

I'm with you.....I love my live as a family of 3! I am soooooooo tired of people questioning why we only wanted 1. It's our choice plain and simple. As long as people can afford to pay for it, I don't care how many kids they have. It's the ones who preface everything with "I can't afford that with my kids....." And I do hear it in my little town a lot. If you can't afford to give them anything, even time, why bother? I realize that's probably not the case with most of you on the boards but that baffles me when people have so many kids they don't have time for any of them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2008, 12:06 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822
Tis not snobbery! Don't you know that you get better with each child that you have? Parents of single children are nothing! Parents of multiple children are better because. . . . , because. . . . ummm. .. . .

Oh wait that is dumber, not better - My wife told me that pregnancy sucks out a little bit of your brains so after five children (four pregnancies) she has excuses for any silly thing that she may do (like running into my truck every time she pulls out of the driveway). As for me, well you have heard of empathy weight gain during pregnancy? I have empathetic brain loss as well.

If you do not believe me, just ask my kids. The older your kids get, the stupider your become - that lasts until that turn 30, then you are really smart again. I am looking forward to that. Right now with teenagers, I am a complete idiot most of the time. I get told that regularly.


We joined a Mothers of twins club after our twins were born. It was sickening. First, their magazine had an article about how a woman of single birth children came up and began talking about parenting with a mother of twins. The article said "Little did she know that she did not fully understand the true joy of motherhood. No mother of mere single birth children can understand the true joy of being chosen to be the mother of multiples." We attended a meeting hoping that the real people would not be like the snobby magazine. However there was an argument over whether parents of multiples caused by fertilization drugs should be allowed in or given some stepped down membership because they are not as important as the far rarer parents of "real" twins. Then they started arguing over whether identical twins were better than fraternal. What they argued over next we never knew. We left and never returned. I am not certain that I was supposed to be there to begin with since it was a "Mothers" of twins club. Dads apparently don't count.

The point of all this babble is that reproduct ive snobbery really exists. I guess some people will take anything as an opportunity for snobbery.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2008, 12:09 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 931,803 times
Reputation: 326
You know...a Baby (one, five, twenty, whatever) is a blessing. People who think their 'natural' twins are 'better' than the 'IV' twins are just loopy.

The love is what is so important. Not the hows or whys.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-31-2008, 12:26 PM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
23,440 posts, read 30,607,252 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
Tis not snobbery! Don't you know that you get better with each child that you have? Parents of single children are nothing! Parents of multiple children are better because. . . . , because. . . . ummm. .. . .

Oh wait that is dumber, not better - My wife told me that pregnancy sucks out a little bit of your brains so after five children (four pregnancies) she has excuses for any silly thing that she may do (like running into my truck every time she pulls out of the driveway). As for me, well you have heard of empathy weight gain during pregnancy? I have empathetic brain loss as well.

If you do not believe me, just ask my kids. The older your kids get, the stupider your become - that lasts until that turn 30, then you are really smart again. I am looking forward to that. Right now with teenagers, I am a complete idiot most of the time. I get told that regularly.


We joined a Mothers of twins club after our twins were born. It was sickening. First, their magazine had an article about how a woman of single birth children came up and began talking about parenting with a mother of twins. The article said "Little did she know that she did not fully understand the true joy of motherhood. No mother of mere single birth children can understand the true joy of being chosen to be the mother of multiples." We attended a meeting hoping that the real people would not be like the snobby magazine. However there was an argument over whether parents of multiples caused by fertilization drugs should be allowed in or given some stepped down membership because they are not as important as the far rarer parents of "real" twins. Then they started arguing over whether identical twins were better than fraternal. What they argued over next we never knew. We left and never returned. I am not certain that I was supposed to be there to begin with since it was a "Mothers" of twins club. Dads apparently don't count.

The point of all this babble is that reproduct ive snobbery really exists. I guess some people will take anything as an opportunity for snobbery.

Words more true were never spoken! One of my miscarriages was twins at 7 months, boys, they would be 21 now. My point is, I attended something like you describe while carrying them, and was horrified by what you described in your post, I saw that, too. Guess some folks just feel the need to lord it over others, no matter what the circumstances.
BTW, I have been enjoying everyones posts, what great parents!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2008, 10:54 AM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,588,645 times
Reputation: 723
I guess we all experience the reproductive snobbery. I can't tell you how many times I hear that I shouldn't have had so many children, that we couldn't possibly afford them, have time for them all, how we are over populating the world, blah blah blah. I personally believe that every child, whether mine or someone elses, is a blessing, and that they should be cherished. We all have an opinion, but that doesn't make our view right for someone else. That's why it's only an opinion. The same goes, I think, for how we each raise our children. I am very hands on, giving love freely,hugging them ALOT, as well as breastfeeding them all. I also didn't have a problem with a family bed. I know a lot of you will disagree, but that's your choice! My problem with all of this is when someone of a differing opinion tells me how I'm wrong, just because I don't raise my kids the way they raise their kids.

My oldest daughter has a daughter and it's a struggle every time she goes to her inlaws because she breasfeeds. She has been told it's selfish, that it's sexual in nature, that it's causing her to spoil the baby, etc.

I guess my point is, we are all going to make mistakes and who am I to judge the way you raise your kids or even how many kids YOU decide to have. But then again, don't judge me.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2008, 11:04 AM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
23,440 posts, read 30,607,252 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by happeemommee View Post

My oldest daughter has a daughter and it's a struggle every time she goes to her inlaws because she breasfeeds. She has been told it's selfish, that it's sexual in nature, that it's causing her to spoil the baby, etc.
, OMG, what in Gods name is wrong with those people??? I feel for your daughter! What does her hubby have to say about it???? Sorry, ignorance really offends me, I am sure it does you, also.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2008, 12:12 PM
 
Location: St. Louis Metro East
515 posts, read 1,362,325 times
Reputation: 323
Wow... it must've been really uncomfortable for the MIL to have given birth... talk about something sexual in nature... Does that mean birth videos are like porn? And yes... it is horribly selfish of your granddaughter to demand to be fed at regular intervals... ?!?!?

I wish I could've breastfed! I tried with the first three...

We have 5 kids. I love going to the store on a bad behavior day. Other people laugh at me, because my favorite thing to say is that I need another kid!

I just don't let "reproductive snobbery" get to me anymore. I love my kids, my husband loves our kids, and that's all that matters to me.

Last edited by jtjmom; 02-01-2008 at 12:14 PM.. Reason: Additional comment
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2008, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822
Quote:
Originally Posted by happeemommee View Post
I guess we all experience the reproductive snobbery. I can't tell you how many times I hear that I shouldn't have had so many children, that we couldn't possibly afford them, have time for them all, how we are over populating the world, blah blah blah.

If I hear one more time about our families excessive "'carbon footprint" I think I will throttle someone. At least that will reduce their carbon footprint. Last time someone raised this issue I pointed at my children and asked "Which one do you think should not exist?"
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-01-2008, 05:29 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,588,645 times
Reputation: 723
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
If I hear one more time about our families excessive "'carbon footprint" I think I will throttle someone. At least that will reduce their carbon footprint. Last time someone raised this issue I pointed at my children and asked "Which one do you think should not exist?"
OMG! I use that line all the time! When I found out I was pregnant with my last little one I was working with a lady who point blank told me it was disgusting and if it were her she would have an abortion!! I was so hurt. This was a lady I had been friends with for a few years, a lady I invited into my home and someone that had spent a considerable amount of time around my children. I was shocked to say the least. It was a pretty rough pregnancy and I was in the hospital for most of it, so I stopped working with her. I ran into her when the baby was about a year old and she dared to come up to me and tell me how beautiful she was and tried to hold her. I took the high road and didn't smack her () but I did end up bringing up her previous statement at which point her face turned red and she muttered something under her breath and walked away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top