U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-01-2008, 06:36 PM
 
1,094 posts, read 2,596,116 times
Reputation: 723

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by kshe95girl View Post
, OMG, what in Gods name is wrong with those people??? I feel for your daughter! What does her hubby have to say about it???? Sorry, ignorance really offends me, I am sure it does you, also.
She sometimes calls me in tears over the nasty things they come up with. Her DH has gotten pretty good about standing up for her, thank goodness. It's very upsetting to her, but I have to say she handles it pretty well.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-01-2008, 09:44 PM
 
Location: Silver Springs, FL
23,440 posts, read 30,727,155 times
Reputation: 15560
Quote:
Originally Posted by happeemommee View Post
She sometimes calls me in tears over the nasty things they come up with. Her DH has gotten pretty good about standing up for her, thank goodness. It's very upsetting to her, but I have to say she handles it pretty well.
Hey, I am sure the support you provide helps her a great deal, and I am sure you are tactful, which is more than I could be. I am still just shaking my head over all this, and I must say, if MIL feels that way, its a miracle that the son turned out relatively normal!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-02-2008, 09:23 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
560 posts, read 1,971,126 times
Reputation: 413
I had similar issues with my MIL and luckily my husband told her to mind her own business. She actually had the audacity to buy a bottle and formula and try to feed it to my daughter when she was watching her once for about an hour. I blew a gasket and she never watched any of my kids again. I told her flat out that if she could not respect our parenting decisions then I could not trust her alone with my children. Due to other issues we have not seen or spoken to her for 3 years and my youngest doesn't even remember her. While sad, and I do feel for my husband (it was his decision to "cut her out"), it sure has made our lives easier.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-02-2008, 10:00 AM
 
Location: The #1 sunshine state, Arizona.
12,172 posts, read 15,047,277 times
Reputation: 64015
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5kingsinvegas View Post
I had similar issues with my MIL and luckily my husband told her to mind her own business. She actually had the audacity to buy a bottle and formula and try to feed it to my daughter when she was watching her once for about an hour. I blew a gasket and she never watched any of my kids again. I told her flat out that if she could not respect our parenting decisions then I could not trust her alone with my children. Due to other issues we have not seen or spoken to her for 3 years and my youngest doesn't even remember her. While sad, and I do feel for my husband (it was his decision to "cut her out"), it sure has made our lives easier.
That's sad but I can understand your decision.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-03-2008, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,248 posts, read 20,662,361 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolly View Post
That's because you can have multiples or 16 kids and get a show on the Discovery Chanel or TLC. They will then send you on nice vacations to Disney Land or buy you a baby grand piano or hire a professional decorator for your house. What a deal! I told my husband we made a mistake by trying to be socially responsible and limiting our family to one child that we could afford. I think the "big family" trend will bust as people realize that sending 6 kids to college all at once is going to catch up with them. But maybe the Discovery Chanel or TLC will pay for that too!
How is limiting your family to one spoiled brat make you "socially responsible"? Do you live in China? One child does not even replace YOU two when you die! If every couple on the face of Earth felt like that, the human species would cease to exist!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-03-2008, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,248 posts, read 20,662,361 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimimomx3 View Post
Could those big families you see blended families? His, hers, theirs? We have (obviously !) 3, and it's a nice number for balance...but I can't imagine 4 or more!
That is how ours is. I had 2 and she 3 and 2+3=5!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-03-2008, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,248 posts, read 20,662,361 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
My point was not that you have to be uncomfortable and have nothing with a big family. It is that you have to give up a level of your standard of living to do so. With one child, we could probably live in a $2 million home. With three, we would be limited to maybe $750,000. With five, we are down to around $500,000. With one kid I could buy new cars every two or three years. With five, I have only had one new car in my entire life. With one child, I could have a big power boat, a jetski and a sailboat. With five I have a 16' 50 year old runabout and a Kayak. We take vacations, but we go camping in the mountains, or we go hiking, or drive to Niagra falls. We do not go to Club med, we have not been overseas, we rarely stay in hotels, especially hotels with room service.


The point is that if you feel it is more important either to you or to your child to have experiences like a trip to France, a week at club med, or a stay at the Ritz Carleton, then you will probably have to have only a few kids (unless your family owns a major corporation). If it is critically important to you to allow your kids to live on campus, complete college without working or loans, then you need to have few children. But you trade that for the large family experience and large family support.

As for college, We are looking now. Most colleges run around $25,000 to $30,000 a year for tuition room, board and supplies. we have two kids starting in 2009. For four years of college that is $240,000. We have two more a few years behind them. That makes $580,000 in less than ten years if prices do not go up. the fifth is a ways back and hopefully they will not all need to go to graduate school ir we will have all five in college at once and the tab will be well over a million.

If you saved enough to pay $580,000 in a ten year period, that is impressive. Even with some scholarships and AP classes in high school, the college thing is probably not manageable without some loans, some living at home, some community college, etc. Personally we chose a large family and that means a sacrifice on their college options However they also got the experience of growing up in a large family. they will have their brothers and sisters around them and supporting them for their entire life. So they trade some experiences for others. It is a matter of parent's priorities.
College does not have to break the bank if you do it right. A PRIVATE college will cost that much but a good state U is less. My daughter will be attending either Georgia State Georgia Southern in the fall and, with a Pell grant and HOPE scholarship, it will cost me total about $4500 for the year out of pocket.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-03-2008, 09:54 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,864 posts, read 59,882,145 times
Reputation: 27140
Is she living at home?


I was looking at a private college, but a friend told me that his son's costs for a public university was about the same. I looked it up and see that he is wrong unless he is not in state.
In State at University of Michigan is $21k with room and board (not as bad as I thought).

Out of state is $41K!

Michigan State is $16K and 30K respectively.

This does not include the remaining meals, clothing, gas, insurance, medical, beer, pizza, parking tickets, haircuts, IPOD songs, etc etc.


Thus, kids should be able to get through four years of college for about $100,000 each, possibly a little less. Now, with a lot of scholarships and serious summer work, it may be doable, at least for the first two. I am not sure. If they earn $10K, get $5k in scholarships, I still need to come up with $5 - $10k for each of them. That is $10 - 20K per year. Then up to $50 to $100 later.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2008, 06:13 AM
 
Location: Lehigh Valley
1,030 posts, read 3,806,202 times
Reputation: 426
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dolly View Post
I told my husband we made a mistake by trying to be socially responsible and limiting our family to one child that we could afford. I think the "big family" trend will bust as people realize that sending 6 kids to college all at once is going to catch up with them. But maybe the Discovery Chanel or TLC will pay for that too!
You sound like you're unhappy with your decision to only have one child. If it's not too late, maybe you could give your child the greatest gift ever - a sibling (or two)!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-04-2008, 06:59 PM
 
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
16,248 posts, read 20,662,361 times
Reputation: 3587
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
Is she living at home?


I was looking at a private college, but a friend told me that his son's costs for a public university was about the same. I looked it up and see that he is wrong unless he is not in state.
In State at University of Michigan is $21k with room and board (not as bad as I thought).

Out of state is $41K!

Michigan State is $16K and 30K respectively.

This does not include the remaining meals, clothing, gas, insurance, medical, beer, pizza, parking tickets, haircuts, IPOD songs, etc etc.


Thus, kids should be able to get through four years of college for about $100,000 each, possibly a little less. Now, with a lot of scholarships and serious summer work, it may be doable, at least for the first two. I am not sure. If they earn $10K, get $5k in scholarships, I still need to come up with $5 - $10k for each of them. That is $10 - 20K per year. Then up to $50 to $100 later.
That is why too expensive. There is no college tuition, fees or books in Georgia for any student with a 3.00 or better GPA in the core subjects. You only pay room, board and a health fee.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top