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Old 01-16-2008, 05:22 PM
 
Location: somewhere in the south
403 posts, read 1,404,696 times
Reputation: 261

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I recently read an article by MSNBC and BabyCenter that couples are having larger families and that 3 is the new norm instead of 2 children. Even wealthier couples are super-sizing the number of children they have per family. Bucking the norm, some families think big - More reality TV news, features - MSNBC.com
NPR : In Some Circles, Four Kids Is the New Standard
For a Few, the More Kids the Merrier - TIME
I've noticed this trend, I've been seeing alot of families here that already have children are having additional kids and when I've been going to Disney I've been seeing more and more families with 5 or more children. I had 3 kids myself and I think that is the perfect number. My granddaughter wants to have 5 kids and my grandson wants 4 kids.
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Old 01-16-2008, 05:47 PM
 
146 posts, read 952,989 times
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That's because you can have multiples or 16 kids and get a show on the Discovery Chanel or TLC. They will then send you on nice vacations to Disney Land or buy you a baby grand piano or hire a professional decorator for your house. What a deal! I told my husband we made a mistake by trying to be socially responsible and limiting our family to one child that we could afford. I think the "big family" trend will bust as people realize that sending 6 kids to college all at once is going to catch up with them. But maybe the Discovery Chanel or TLC will pay for that too!
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Old 01-16-2008, 07:53 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822
We have 5 kids, but my two brothers and sister generate only one additional grandchild. Thus, our family averaged 1.5 kids per couple.

Things get tight some times, but we get by. College will be very difficult but it will happen.

My best friend has 6 kids, but they can readily pay for private school, college, housing, cars, etc for all of them. Most of my other friends have no more than 2 children. A very large number have none. A lot of people want more for themselves and no longer want the cost or responsibility of a large family. There is nothing wrong with that, but there is nothing wrong with loving a large family either. There is no need to get insulting. I do not feel socially irresponsible. In fact, I am absolutely confident that the world would suffer a considerable loss if any of my children were not in it. Everyone of them is wonderful, caring, and driven to add something to our society.

It is a question of priorities. If you like having a big family more than you like the comforts of having money, then a big family is fine. You cannot expect to have a big family and still have vacations, new cars, new clothing, electronic gadgets and gizmos, a huge house in a fancy neighborhood, name brand foods, etc.

We live far better than our parents or grandparents did and they had large families. If you have a large family you may have to reduce your potential standard of living to that of 30 or 40 years ago. You might be able to afford only one television, and very few toys. Your clothing may come from Salvation Army stores, your vacations may involve only free or nearly free things. Your kids might have to go to community college for two years before transferring to a university. They may have to commute instead of living in a party house - uh dorm - but that is not a disaster. They may have to work through college like many of our generation did. They might even have to take a year off to earn money and then continue. No disasters there. There is no rush to start the career that they will be doing for 40 or more years.
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Old 01-16-2008, 08:53 PM
 
8,240 posts, read 14,894,928 times
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Could those big families you see blended families? His, hers, theirs? We have (obviously !) 3, and it's a nice number for balance...but I can't imagine 4 or more!
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Old 01-16-2008, 10:40 PM
 
Location: The mountians of Northern California.
1,354 posts, read 5,625,993 times
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I have two kids but the majority of my friends have 3-6 kids. Only a few of those families are blended.
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Old 01-17-2008, 06:37 AM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,341,204 times
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I'm pregnant with our second and we are planning for 3. Horrors upon horrors though-2 of them will have to share a bedroom
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Old 01-17-2008, 10:38 AM
 
207 posts, read 671,717 times
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We have 2, a boy and a girl. If money is not a problem, we would want to have more, but we want our kids to start their life debt free, and we do not want to work 10-12 hours a day and sacrifices our family times to get there.
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Old 01-17-2008, 06:24 PM
 
Location: SD
896 posts, read 3,866,356 times
Reputation: 342
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post
We have 5 kids, but my two brothers and sister generate only one additional grandchild. Thus, our family averaged 1.5 kids per couple.

Things get tight some times, but we get by. College will be very difficult but it will happen.

My best friend has 6 kids, but they can readily pay for private school, college, housing, cars, etc for all of them. Most of my other friends have no more than 2 children. A very large number have none. A lot of people want more for themselves and no longer want the cost or responsibility of a large family. There is nothing wrong with that, but there is nothing wrong with loving a large family either. There is no need to get insulting. I do not feel socially irresponsible. In fact, I am absolutely confident that the world would suffer a considerable loss if any of my children were not in it. Everyone of them is wonderful, caring, and driven to add something to our society.

It is a question of priorities. If you like having a big family more than you like the comforts of having money, then a big family is fine. You cannot expect to have a big family and still have vacations, new cars, new clothing, electronic gadgets and gizmos, a huge house in a fancy neighborhood, name brand foods, etc.

We live far better than our parents or grandparents did and they had large families. If you have a large family you may have to reduce your potential standard of living to that of 30 or 40 years ago. You might be able to afford only one television, and very few toys. Your clothing may come from Salvation Army stores, your vacations may involve only free or nearly free things. Your kids might have to go to community college for two years before transferring to a university. They may have to commute instead of living in a party house - uh dorm - but that is not a disaster. They may have to work through college like many of our generation did. They might even have to take a year off to earn money and then continue. No disasters there. There is no rush to start the career that they will be doing for 40 or more years.
I was perplexed by your post. I agreed with you until you got to the part where you started talking about priorities--life revolved around it sounds very depressing. I have four children and although my kids don't dress in designer clothing, I want to teach them that things they have don't matter as much as who they are as people. I see friends (who only have two children) and their children are dressed as fashion plates and I think that's great for them but looking like that isn't a priority in my house. I happen to have a big family but we still manage to be comfortable. We continue to have vacations, new cars, new clothing, electronic gadgets and gizmos, name brand foods, etc. If my husband didn't complain about age (ours), I would definitely have one more. I imagine that kids start wanting things as they get older and I'm sure the college years will suck for me and my husband (I'll have three in college at once) but hopefully I'm raising my kids to be responsible members of society.
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Old 01-17-2008, 06:29 PM
 
1,219 posts, read 3,743,535 times
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I have five kids. We love it, and we have found that our earnings and careers have increased as the kids have gotten older (and more expensive). We live modestly but happily. I'm so glad it turned out this way, we didn't set out to have a large family, but embraced it as they came.

We have more than one tv, we buy clothes (not designer, which I don't want anyhow) and go on vacations.

I'm not in one of those 'social circles' talked about in the stories linked above, and have taken my share of unpleasant comments from bigmouths. My favorite comeback to 'why so many kids' is 'to pay YOUR social security!' LOL
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Old 01-17-2008, 06:54 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,717 posts, read 59,563,864 times
Reputation: 26822
My point was not that you have to be uncomfortable and have nothing with a big family. It is that you have to give up a level of your standard of living to do so. With one child, we could probably live in a $2 million home. With three, we would be limited to maybe $750,000. With five, we are down to around $500,000. With one kid I could buy new cars every two or three years. With five, I have only had one new car in my entire life. With one child, I could have a big power boat, a jetski and a sailboat. With five I have a 16' 50 year old runabout and a Kayak. We take vacations, but we go camping in the mountains, or we go hiking, or drive to Niagra falls. We do not go to Club med, we have not been overseas, we rarely stay in hotels, especially hotels with room service.


The point is that if you feel it is more important either to you or to your child to have experiences like a trip to France, a week at club med, or a stay at the Ritz Carleton, then you will probably have to have only a few kids (unless your family owns a major corporation). If it is critically important to you to allow your kids to live on campus, complete college without working or loans, then you need to have few children. But you trade that for the large family experience and large family support.

As for college, We are looking now. Most colleges run around $25,000 to $30,000 a year for tuition room, board and supplies. we have two kids starting in 2009. For four years of college that is $240,000. We have two more a few years behind them. That makes $580,000 in less than ten years if prices do not go up. the fifth is a ways back and hopefully they will not all need to go to graduate school ir we will have all five in college at once and the tab will be well over a million.

If you saved enough to pay $580,000 in a ten year period, that is impressive. Even with some scholarships and AP classes in high school, the college thing is probably not manageable without some loans, some living at home, some community college, etc. Personally we chose a large family and that means a sacrifice on their college options However they also got the experience of growing up in a large family. they will have their brothers and sisters around them and supporting them for their entire life. So they trade some experiences for others. It is a matter of parent's priorities.
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