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Eastern-Central-South Europe should do.
Most societies in that region before the abrupt switch to a free market system were 1000 times less plagued by bullying than what I see in the US today (and possibly other western countries of the type you mentioned). Period.
I was just reading earlier the details on the recent suicide of the bullied girl in MA (pretty close from where we live). Her schoolmates were telling her "go kill yourself, Irish 'ho!!!!" - just one of the pearls from an infinite repertoire of viciousness, malice and evil.
I do not care what comparisons you are making. I know very well what I saw growing up. No community in my country at the time - no matter how ghetto, no matter how pretentious - would have produced children-devils that would yell at others "go kill yourself!". The parents and surrounding community would have shaped those degenerates back into humanity before they would have gotten a chance to spit out so much malice.
This is an aggressive and selfish society and the veneer of "civilization" is enforced just to keep in check the raw, dog-eat-dog instincts bred into people from day 1.
Bullying is a GRAVE phenomenon. Excuses of "Kids have always been mean" type should be punished by law as far as I am concerned.
I find it a bit peculiar that syracusa refuses to admit the actual country she is from. I've seen several people now ask which country it is that she makes constant references to and the question goes unanswered over and over.
***I wish you could be more specific, but for some reason you don't want to disclose it. It makes a difference to me, because I grew up in Eastern Europe so I wanted to make a comparison.
Most societies in that region before the abrupt switch to a free market system were 1000 times less plagued by bullying than what I see in the US today (and possibly other western countries of the type you mentioned). Period. ****No, not "Period" by any means. Being a jewish girl from the poor family, with the darkest complexion in class, I had experienced some real bullying and I have witnessed some cruelty towards other children as well. Not much different from what I see right now.
I was just reading earlier the details on the recent suicide of the bullied girl in MA (pretty close from where we live). Her schoolmates were telling her "go kill yourself, Irish 'ho!!!!" - just one of the pearls from an infinite repertoire of viciousness, malice and evil.
I do not care what comparisons you are making. I know very well what I saw growing up. No community in my country at the time - no matter how ghetto, no matter how pretentious - would have produced children-devils that would yell at others "go kill yourself!". The parents and surrounding community would have shaped those degenerates back into humanity before they would have gotten a chance to spit out so much malice. ***I'm sorry that you don't care about what comparisons I'm making, I'm telling what I saw in my country and there was a lot of cruelty, not any less than here. I wish you told me what country you grew up in so at least we could have a civilized discussion.
This is an aggressive and selfish society and the veneer of "civilization" is enforced just to keep in check the raw, dog-eat-dog instincts bred into people from day 1.
Bullying is a GRAVE phenomenon. Excuses of "Kids have always been mean" type should be punished by law as far as I am concerned.
Yes, but I believe this is happening everywhere and last but not least, if we are talking about nowdays, present time, then it is just as bad in Russia and Ukraine NOW as it is here. We can all talk about the past, but it's not going to change the present will it?
I find it a bit peculiar that syracusa refuses to admit the actual country she is from. I've seen several people now ask which country it is that she makes constant references to and the question goes unanswered over and over.
I would be interested too, simply because at least I will know and at least understand where she is coming from. If she is so proud of her home country, she shouldn't be ashamed to disclose it.
On the other note, I'm very afraid about bullying myself. Having a 4 year old who is the smallest kid in class worries me. I'm not looking forward to this at all.
I would be interested too, simply because at least I will know and at least understand where she is coming from. If she is so proud of her home country, she shouldn't be ashamed to disclose it.
On the other note, I'm very afraid about bullying myself. Having a 4 year old who is the smallest kid in class worries me. I'm not looking forward to this at all.
I would also be interested in knowing where she is from as well....this magical place where there is no competition or bullying. I was raised in Europe as well and there was plently of bullying going on.
As I have mentioned my 6 year old son is tiny. Smallest in the class (boy or girl) but he has held his own easily against much bigger kids. Really it's mindset and the confidence to know you don't have to take any BS. Teach your kid this now and I'm sure he will be fine. Good luck!
On the other note, I'm very afraid about bullying myself. Having a 4 year old who is the smallest kid in class worries me. I'm not looking forward to this at all.
I have the tallest kid in class. My daughter is 7 and wears a size 10/12 and has a shoe size of 5 1/2. When she's standing in line, the next tallest child in her class is not even at her shoulders. She's not fat...she's just very tall. Anything that makes your kid different (and even a lot of things that don't) just give another child an opportunity to single them out. Just like your child may get picked on because he seems like an easy target, I'm worried about my daughter being picked on so someone can prove how brave they are by taking on "the big kid".
I am working VERY hard on getting my daughter to feel good about herself and not to let another child make her feel bad. We started last year in Kindergarten and quite literally talk about it at least every week (if not more). Lots of role playing...what to say to someone who says something mean, how it doesn't matter if someone doesn't like your shirt as long as you do...god...the list goes on and on and on.
Bullies are the same...there have been bullies in school when our great grandparents were kids. They find the weak person and make themselves feel stronger by making another child feel small. They rarely pick on someone who stands up to them verbally, someone who's "popular" and can make their lives miserable, and they don't pick on someone they know can beat the crap out of them.
My daughter really doesn't have it in her to physically fight back. She's not the least bit aggressive, so we work on how to respond verbally to bullies. She's had a few already in Kindergarten and 1st grade. She has come home crying and I have to fight off my instincts to go into "kick ass mode" but a few weeks ago, she came home triumphant after asking a girl who continually puts her down, "Why are you so rude?" She asked her in front of a bunch of other kids who all responded, "yeah, why are you so rude?" The little girl now goes out of her way to avoid my daughter. I'm 100% okay with that.
Eastern-Central-South Europe should do.
Most societies in that region before the abrupt switch to a free market system were 1000 times less plagued by bullying than what I see in the US today (and possibly other western countries of the type you mentioned). Period. I do not care what comparisons you are making. I know very well what I saw growing up. No community in my country at the time - no matter how ghetto, no matter how pretentious - would have produced children-devils that would yell at others "go kill yourself!". The parents and surrounding community would have shaped those degenerates back into humanity before they would have gotten a chance to spit out so much malice.
This is an aggressive and selfish society and the veneer of "civilization" is enforced just to keep in check the raw, dog-eat-dog instincts bred into people from day 1.
Okay. Let's just say that wherever you grew up really is a utopia...full of children who never say mean things, full of people who put themselves behind the greater good of society.
What's your point? Do we have problems in America? Absolutely. But that's not the question being asked by the OP. The OP has a child being bullied and wants some advice on how to deal with it.
Your posts seem to make comparisons and wild generalities about how awful American kids are and how "aggressive and selfish" of a society we have. Again...your point is what?
There are plenty of things that we can change about our country but the fact of the matter is this...America is a country founded on an idea which was built on individualism. If you have a problem with that, guess what? Here in America, you are allowed to have a different opinion and yes, even express your opinion.
But I would ask you why you think you are helping by saying that the country where you grew up was so much better? Is she supposed to move?
We all bring in our own experiences while posting on this thread and I think that is what makes our country so amazing...there are so many cultural and societal differences and yet we all want the same thing for our kids...for them to grow up and lead fulfilling lives (however you want to define "fulfilling").
I understand you have opinions that differ greatly from mine but saying to the OP that if only she lived in the country where you grew up, her child would never be bullied is as helpful as telling her that if only she had a boy instead of a girl, or if her boy was blonde instead of brunette.
anything that is different is reason for bullies to pick on kids, it happens in the workplace too. I was bullied at my last job.... until I stood up to them..there were a little gang at work, it's so highschool, others were glad it wasn't happening to them so they wouldn't even stand up for you..these are adults with kids, go figure...what do you think their kids are doing at school? My weight was a reason to bully, my glasses, the fact I don't ride a bycicle in this bike riding heaven.....but just think of something and a bully will use it.
Bullying has gotten totally out of control because nothing is done about it "they're just kids, it's part of growing up" are cop-outs! How many have to die before something gets done, it leaves marks for life .....
I was just reading earlier the details on the recent suicide of the bullied girl in MA (pretty close from where we live). Her schoolmates were telling her "go kill yourself, Irish 'ho!!!!" - just one of the pearls from an infinite repertoire of viciousness, malice and evil.
I find it interesting that you seem to believe that after this poor girl killed herself and the neighbors found out what those evil (and yes, I will say "evil" because that's precisely what they are) girls said to her, that everyone just shrugged their shoulders and went on with their day. People were horrified and hopefully these girls will be ostracized as they deserve to be.
It's one thing to read the paper and watch the news. In our country, the news runs 24/7 on multiple channels which, IMHO, leads to us freaking out about things that are nothing more than a "titilating" news story that gets run over and over again. If you only watched the news, you wouldn't realize that the number of child kidnappings and murders (by strangers...family member abductions are steady) are WAY down because the news runs the horrible stories and makes us all leary about letting our kids play in the front yard.
There IS a difference in the criminal justice system and the "court of public opinion." If the girls mentioned above don't get criminally punished, they WILL be punished in public. Same for the mom who posed as a teenager and tormented the poor girl on the internet until she killed herself. The court couldn't find a way to press charges, but the woman was so ostracized in her community (her children were made into pariahs, people wouldn't wait on them at restaurants, their home was vandalized, etc) that they moved and because the news story was run all over the country, unless they move to a remote location where the nearest neighbor is miles away, there WILL be someone in their new community who recognizes their name and the tormenting will begin. Perhaps that's rude of me to find happiness in that, but I do...the woman may not be a "criminal" but she is a vicious person who doesn't belong in polite society. What happens to her and her family I don't care. Her life is ruined even if she isn't in jail and she deserves it.
Perhaps there are bullies in our country who are never dealt with. I know a few adults who I have no doubt were bullies in school. But the extreme cases where suicide is the result or brutality is done (like the story in Seattle) is met with outrage. The victim's lives are ruined but in this day and age of YouTube, 24/7 media and internet reporting, stories like this don't result in people just "moving on."
anything that is different is reason for bullies to pick on kids, it happens in the workplace too. I was bullied at my last job.... until I stood up to them..there were a little gang at work, it's so highschool, others were glad it wasn't happening to them so they wouldn't even stand up for you..these are adults with kids, go figure...what do you think their kids are doing at school? My weight was a reason to bully, my glasses, the fact I don't ride a bycicle in this bike riding heaven.....but just think of something and a bully will use it.
Bullying has gotten totally out of control because nothing is done about it "they're just kids, it's part of growing up" are cop-outs! How many have to die before something gets done, it leaves marks for life .....
I agree. Bullies who aren't dealt with grow up to be bullying adults. I think for me, the difference is that I can recognize it and deal with it better than when I was in school. I wasn't bullied but there were kids who didn't like me and were mean. As an adult, I now get to stand up and say the things I wished were in my vocabulary when I was a kid. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, as exhilarating as standing up for yourself as an adult and putting someone in their place. I did it with the school's PTO members and other parents came up to me afterwards and thanked me for finally standing up to them. This year, they're gone and things are so much better and productive.
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