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Number one, you don't want kids. Number two, you have chosen a profession that is incompatible with being a mom. The hours required of a good physician do not leave time to raise kids. You would be dumping them in day care, which would make you a terrible and neglectful mother.
What?
I know many female physicians who are wonderful mothers.
There is plenty of time to raise the kids.... together, with the father, whom you seem to completely leave out. Why would that be?
Also, using day care does not make a mother OR a father terrible and neglectful!
(and this is coming from a SAHM.... you are WAY off base!)
I know many female physicians who are wonderful mothers.
There is plenty of time to raise the kids.... together, with the father, whom you seem to completely leave out. Why would that be?
Also, using day care does not make a mother OR a father terrible and neglectful!
(and this is coming from a SAHM.... you are WAY off base!)
I totally agree with Pitt! I KNOW several great moms who are also doctors.
Not saying you should be a mom, op. Just that there are great moms who are doctors. I couldn't imagine doing it, tis got to be tough to have a huge demand training and parent. But don't have kids if you don't want one. You have to be open with your bf
What's with all the posters who come on the parenting board and announce that they don't want kids anyway? It's weird. No one ever posts on the travel board that they only want to stay home, or the aviation board and says they just aren't that into airplanes or whatever.
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
What do you mean you don't know what to do? You don't need to do anything right now except make sure you don't get pregnant. Does your BF know you don't want kids? If not, he should, so tell him. You are young. You may change your mind, but you may not. It is up to him to decide if he wants to stay with you or move on with someone who does want kids.
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bakeneko
What's with all the posters who come on the parenting board and announce that they don't want kids anyway? It's weird. No one ever posts on the travel board that they only want to stay home, or the aviation board and says they just aren't that into airplanes or whatever.
I am 24 years old (female) and I don't feel like I would ever want to have kids. I just have never really liked kids. When I think of my future I think of all of the things I want to do in life and places I want to go, but the thought of having a baby doesn't excite me. My boyfriend of 9 years wants to have at least one kid but I don't want to have a kid just because he wants one. I want to go to medical school and by the time I'm done with that I'll probably be 30. I don't know what to do.
You're 24. You have no idea what you will or will not want in the future. I didn't want kids until I was in my 40's. At 24 I had no interest in babies or marriage or even steady boyfriends. I had stuff to do. Things change, people change. If he can't wait, then he'll have to move on.
Don't make the mistake of thinking your bf will change his mind. He may stifle his desire for a child, but it will resurface. He has told you that he wants at least one child (meaning he'd really like to consider having more than one). That is really what he wants. That won't change. He probably won't want to wait until you're a doctor tp have them, either.
You can have kids after you achieve your goal of becoming a doctor. Don't give up your professional goal, though, or you'll always be sad about that and blame your hubby or the baby. Women have children through their 40's these days.
It's not unusual, IMO, for someone your age not to want children (yet). It's wonderful you have a goal of becoming a doctor. How awesome and how proud your parents must be! If you have the right stuff to be a good doctor, that may be your calling, and the world sure needs more good doctors.
But as a 61 year old divorced woman who never had children...and didn't want them when I was in my mid-twenties, I can offer you this advice from an old salt. At the end of your life, as you look back, your job is not going to be very comforting. A job, in the end, is just a job. A child is a reason for being. Someone who loves you unconditionally and who you love unconditionally. I'm not saying life will be cold and lonely without children, but a job doesn't call you on Mother's Day, hug you on chilly nights, or is concerned that you might get sick or injured. A job is wonderful for fulfilling your potential, making money, contributing to society. But when you're on your death bed, you might prefer to think about your loved ones rather than your job. It can be a cold world without loved ones. "They" say there is no love in the world like the love a parent has for a child.
I manage just fine because I have a happy nature, some friends, and feel very lucky because of a bad childhood....things could have turned out very bad for me. But they didn't. So I feel lucky how things turned out. And I was never one to pine over wanting children. Still....I wonder. I think life would be fuller somehow, if I had had children. It wasn't in the cards, though.
Keep that in mind. Don't do anything permanent. You may change your mind later. And of course, it might just happen, anyway. No birth control is 100%.
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This seems more like a relationship question.
