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That's only if the person missing disappears completely. If you've got a phone, a job, and a place to live it's very easy for them to track you down using any of those things and they don't even have to leave their desks to do it.
You're the one that's creating the drama. Just send your family an email from a free account saying you're fine but you don't wish to have contact with them, and then delete the email acct.
Or keep it open and check in periodically. I understand that you don't want to deal with them, but I also understand that they want to know you're alive.
Why haven't you blocked their email and number? It sounds like you get off on this drama in some way. If you truly want no contact, change your phone number and email address. Otherwise, you are okay with this harassment, and you should probably stop complaining about it since you are fostering their actions.
Exactly!
The OP claims to not like contact, but won't stop it.
The OP seems thrilled to report the drama here and in other threads.
The OP refuses to take any action, knowing the problem will not go away on its own.
He really does not want to sever contact, and just strings them along.
Three minutes on the phone now versus 20 minute trip to my door.
I am not sure why you and your family think it is the polices job to get involved with your drama?
I am not even sure there is anything that your family could say to the police that would make them look for you since you are an adult. They would probably think they were crazy and placate them. Which is what I am sure they did with you.
Exactly!
The OP claims to not like contact, but won't stop it.
The OP seems thrilled to report the drama here and in other threads.
The OP refuses to take any action, knowing the problem will not go away on its own.
He really does not want to sever contact, and just strings them along.
Thanks for the heads up. I did not know this was going on in other threads. Sounds like there are some issues.
To me it just seems like this is the process of validation that comes with this kind of self created drama.
I'm mid 30s guy. Two years ago, I moved far far away to a large city to escape family drama in my home town. I secured a job from long distance, packed my things one weekend, and broke my apartment lease with a huge penalty. It was worth it. I pulled out of the apartment complex in a full UHaul van pulling my car. I dropped a letter in the mailbox to let my parents know the city I was going and that it was time to move on with my life.
I sent them a few e-mails to let them know I was fine, had employment and had place to live. The cell messages seemed supportive at first, so I talked to them. Big mistake. The biting anger soon made its appearance again. So I stopped answering calls. Now they e-mail me routinely to try to suck me back into their dysfunctional lives.
The last year has seen lots of e-mail messages. They keep asking for my address. They ask to visit me. They ask me to come home. I ignore. I get asked to loan money. I get begged to loan money because it's a dire temporary need. I ignore. I get a call saying they are coming to look for me. I ignore. Three weeks ago, a parent called me from another person's cell phone. I was dumb to pick up, but I hung up after a minute rant had started.
No word for the past three weeks.
NOW I got a message out of the blue over the weekend that slightly concerns me. One parent said that if I don't call or e-mail, then they will report me missing to my local police department. One crazy parent may even fly out. I'm sure that parent will convince the police department I must truly be in trouble. My birth certificate will be ID proof of blood relation, and the police will unknowingly give out my address.
Should I e-mail the parent (cave into the threat)? Should I call my local police department to give them a heads up?
sounds like someone needs to get a restraining order....
I am not sure why you and your family think it is the polices job to get involved with your drama?
I am not even sure there is anything that your family could say to the police that would make them look for you since you are an adult. They would probably think they were crazy and placate them. Which is what I am sure they did with you.
Because while you may be "old guard", in modern times, if they get the right things said over the phine, the police just might show up with a SWAT team. Regardless of what else the OP should do, which is simply never allow contact again, calling the police is a good thing as it will greatly reduce the chances of that happening.
But yeah, otherwise, complete zero contact policy. No matter what they say or do, just ignore them, if you are trying to reduce drama,
I've already offered my advice in the other thread you created regarding your parents. I'll just say this. If my child decided randomly to leave town and then proceeded to cut me out of his life; my husband and I would do everything in our power to find him. You've said in your other thread that they are mentally healthy and not abusive; just a bit annoying. Now you're an adult free to do as you please; but no, its not normal behavior to do what you're doing based on the facts you've presented. Talking to a neutral 3rd party about these dynamics might help give you some direction for how to proceed.
I'm mid 30s guy. Two years ago, I moved far far away to a large city to escape family drama in my home town. I secured a job from long distance, packed my things one weekend, and broke my apartment lease with a huge penalty. It was worth it. I pulled out of the apartment complex in a full UHaul van pulling my car. I dropped a letter in the mailbox to let my parents know the city I was going and that it was time to move on with my life.
I sent them a few e-mails to let them know I was fine, had employment and had place to live. The cell messages seemed supportive at first, so I talked to them. Big mistake. The biting anger soon made its appearance again. So I stopped answering calls. Now they e-mail me routinely to try to suck me back into their dysfunctional lives.
The last year has seen lots of e-mail messages. They keep asking for my address. They ask to visit me. They ask me to come home. I ignore. I get asked to loan money. I get begged to loan money because it's a dire temporary need. I ignore. I get a call saying they are coming to look for me. I ignore. Three weeks ago, a parent called me from another person's cell phone. I was dumb to pick up, but I hung up after a minute rant had started.
No word for the past three weeks.
NOW I got a message out of the blue over the weekend that slightly concerns me. One parent said that if I don't call or e-mail, then they will report me missing to my local police department. One crazy parent may even fly out. I'm sure that parent will convince the police department I must truly be in trouble. My birth certificate will be ID proof of blood relation, and the police will unknowingly give out my address.
Should I e-mail the parent (cave into the threat)? Should I call my local police department to give them a heads up?
I think you should go to your local police department, take copies of the emails with you, and let them know the position you're in. That way, they'll have the facts.
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