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No judge is going to grant him a restraining order. There has to be threatening behavior involved, or fear of bodily harm. The OP's parents aren't a danger to him, they're just annoying.
He has a bonafide case for stalking... and yes, a judge will grant a restraining order for that.
OP: Change your phone number and email account. If any further contact is made, record the conversation or save the email (especially if demands for money are involved). Take that to the cops and tell them that your family are compulsive gamblers/drug addicts and are trying to shake you down for cash to feed their habits. At that point, getting a restraining order will be a cakewalk.
I am thinking that I shouldn't cave into this threat. Calling/E-mail to tell them to stop will not work. Therefore, I won't acknowledge this threat at all. In the future it could escalate to other threats (crying voicemails, self-harm threats, suicidal statements) to get me to respond. I left my home town and went thousands of miles away to remove myself from that dysfunction. I refuse to be threatened or manipulated any further.
I've requested a call back from my local police department's non-emergency line. I am going to give my PD a heads up that my parent may be calling to report me missing. No sense in them coming out to see if I'm okay.
Are you really just afraid to tell them to back off? It seems the easiest thing to do is to tell them to stop and explain the consequences if they don't like seeking whatever recourse is available (TRO, stalking/harassment charges, etc).
Ignoring them hasn't worked. Try something different.
He has a bonafide case for stalking... and yes, a judge will grant a restraining order for that.
OP: Change your phone number and email account. If any further contact is made, record the conversation or save the email (especially if demands for money are involved). Take that to the cops and tell them that your family are compulsive gamblers/drug addicts and are trying to shake you down for cash to feed their habits. At that point, getting a restraining order will be a cakewalk.
He does not have a case for stalking at all. The OP's parents live somewhere where they'd have to fly to see him. Sending emails and 'threatening' to visit him aren't considered stalking. He's not in danger nor is he in fear of his life.
and now you're suggesting that he lie to the police by saying his parents are drug addicts and are shaking him down???
Well checks can end up badly . . . this one happened not long ago in the state where I live . . .
I work with police CIT (Crisis Intervention Teams) through mental health agencies and they always advise - if there is an ongoing situation in your family or with family members, they would like to be informed about it BEFORE something goes terribly wrong.
In this situation, the police force did NOT have a Crisis Intervention Team. Things can go wrong quickly.
It is still family so there are connections. He may want to know if someone is dying or getting married. I think he is hoping that they grow the eff up and start acting like adults.
I see no problem with them having his number. He just needs to make it clear he has to go when they start talking about the drama and trying to get him involved.
Sounds like he should change his #, make sure it is unlisted and then provide them with an internet and/or forwarding #. For example get a google voice # that you can set to go straight to voicemail.
I think what previous poster is implying is he keeps leaving the door open for the abuse. I do wonder why OP is picking up the phone when they call.
The otehr alternative would be to set a time to talk once //month.
Is there another family member who can act as an intermediary?
ALSO, very important, get a PO Box. Don't give your home address out to anyone. If you live one place long enough and receive a lot of mail there they may be able to track you down.
I'm mid 30s guy. Two years ago, I moved far far away to a large city to escape family drama in my home town.
NOW I got a message out of the blue over the weekend that slightly concerns me. One parent said that if I don't call or e-mail, then they will report me missing to my local police department. One crazy parent may even fly out. I'm sure that parent will convince the police department I must truly be in trouble. My birth certificate will be ID proof of blood relation, and the police will unknowingly give out my address.
Should I e-mail the parent (cave into the threat)? Should I call my local police department to give them a heads up?
Don't do anything, let them report you....you're an adult and I seriously doubt the cops will get involved...at all.
Send them a note, if you must, (keep a copy) telling them to leave you alone.
DON'T e-mail, or phone....unless you desire a conversation with them, which it doesn't sound like you do.
Kibbiekat's right.....you're an adult, why would they?
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