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Of course you have to run your family as you see fit. But IMHO, Timeouts are non-effective (BS).
A kid who insults an adult and is given a "timeout" is not going to even remember that TO during the following 4-5 hours when they are enjoying themselves.
I also think that when a parent make the excuse that they and the other kids are enjoying yourselves - and so wouldn't want to leave, they are again enabling a child that needs to be punished. And, no, I don't believe a parent is going to stand watch over them so they don't sneak in some entertainment while being punished... while the rest of the family is scattered out enjoying themselves in the park.
Will a parent actually stand their kid out in the sun and say stay here for an hour? Or will they just say, play by yourself - in that cool part of the pool? Probably all is forgiven and forgotten - especially by the kid who did it, within 15 minutes and no lesson learned.
If a kid were to do that, leaving immediately puts it into the minds of everyone in the family that the behavior is not acceptable.
Again, I think you need to run your family as you see fit, but I don't believe a TO at an amusement part is effectual.
Yeah yeah anytime I got punished like that either because my brother was acting up or someone in class ruined something for the group I never felt that was justified and always resented the person who got in trouble and the person doing the punishing.
In jr police academy when I was an explorer this kid kept acting up and he had us on our faces all day doing push ups, he was forced into joining and was a mouthy little crotch fruit.
He came up to as we were leaving to ask me if he could use my cell to call his parents who weren't there yet. I told him to F off and then I reamed that little SOB a new one.
I unleashed such a verbal beat down on this kid for making all us have to do all that. I was in pain, I could barely use my arms.
He got cussed up and down.
Punishing everyone for the mistakes of a few or one person is always a sure fire way to make people hate you and think you're a tool.
I don't need to open my eyes, or have any doubts about what my reactions would be. I'm a mother.
And I'm telling you if you THINK for a minute that your "hypothetical" reaction is normal or justifiable in ANY WAY, you're mistaken.
But hey, way to go adding high drama and physical components and THREATS that a kid will end up with long term problems to an already bad plan. I'm sure it'll feel GREAT in the moment identifying with the fat person and completely forgetting about the kid who committed this grievous offense.
Yeah yeah anytime I got punished like that either because my brother was acting up or someone in class ruined something for the group I never felt that was justified and always resented the person who got in trouble and the person doing the punishing.
In jr police academy when I was an explorer this kid kept acting up and he had us on our faces all day doing push ups, he was forced into joining and was a mouthy little crotch fruit.
He came up to as we were leaving to ask me if he could use my cell to call his parents who weren't there yet. I told him to F off and then I reamed that little SOB a new one.
I unleashed such a verbal beat down on this kid for making all us have to do all that. I was in pain, I could barely use my arms.
He got cussed up and down.
Punishing everyone for the mistakes of a few or one person is always a sure fire way to make people hate you and think you're a tool.
I think punishing everyone for the actions of one or two or three people is the height of lazy discipline.
I think punishing everyone for the actions of one or two or three people is the height of lazy discipline.
Extremely lazy.
Kids were abusing the headphones/iPods etc since it was up to teacher discretion.
Kids were using them in the hallways etc.
So the school temporarily took away teacher discretion.
Prior to the rule change I used mine in art class.
I convinced my art teacher to ignore the rule.
Some blonde happy chick did nothing but like omg and so type of crap all the time.
I finally was like if I have to listen to her any longer I'm dropping your class, in front of everyone.
This girl was insufferable.
What if you paid hundreds of dollars for this trip?
What if it was your only family vacation?
Its easy to say remove the child but some situations it just doesn't make much sense.
Because of this - I too would have to say that the response I would have gotten from my mother and did on a few occasions was to be slapped either upside the head or right in my mouth. It was embarrassing when it happened but you know what I got that what I was doing prior was not to be tolerated and as I got older and would reflect on such incidents I understood why my mother had to take this approach during these times. After I cried for few quietly mind you and maybe was in a sullen mood for about an hour I would recover and would be trying to be better behaved for sure. Not only did I know that I should not be rude for any reason to other people I understood not to do anything that would look badly on my mother or embarrass her especially face to face with said persons. Im afraid that children today do not think before the speak or act and should a lot more than they are being taught to.
With this being said I will tell those that ask if I have children - yes I do. I have one who is almost 21 yrs old now and I too fell into the new culture of mothers who use "time out" as a punishment and while my son did not ever publicly act rudely to others he does tend to at times show some of the entitlement mind set that many in his age do. I think this new way of talking things out and time outs with some children are not effective and never will be. My Nana used to tell me when I would call and talk to her upset with something my son had done and telling her that I just could not bring myself to get mad enough to hit him or scare him - she would say that every day after she would have to hit my uncle for again misbehaving at school and every night she would cry herself to sleep thinking it would never end and feeling terrible. Well it did and he is a normal well adjusted man with a very norm family and she said that this is why they say parenting is so hard. Sometimes it hurts just as much as them- and I think this is true. Upon reflection in certain instances and this one is one - I should have just done what was done with me instead of treading uncharted new age disciplinary tactics. So there you have it - I would have just slapped his face after saying I was sorry for his rudeness to the woman or other way around.
I am not responsible for the health of other people. I am only responsible for my kids growing up healthy and strong, including physical strength and fitness. If they correctly identify fatness as a bad, undesirable trait that people should be ashamed of, it is only a good thing. Now, if they pointed to someone fat and said: "wow, how pretty, I want to look like her!" - that would be cause for punishment. However, that is unlikely to happen. Most kids have good genetic instinct, unless conditioned otherwise. And I intend to give every kind of good example to my children, both in healthy eating and in sport.
Disabilities - that is an entire different matter. You never know if that guy who is lacking a leg is a world class sportsman who lost his leg while climbing the Everest. That is strength. Fatness is not.
So . . . my friend who underwent cancer treatments and who gained 35 lbs. due to an adverse reaction to steroids and medication is not disabled, and has undesirable traits? Right . . .
My point is, you don't KNOW what this woman's issues are. She may have medical disorders, she may have psychological disorders -- to assume that someone who is fat is simply lazy and uncaring is fairly condescending. For all you know, she's already lost 50 lbs. and IS turning her health around. A little empathy is not out of line -- and goes a lot further in teaching children respect for others than having the parents engage in their own private shaming session.
I think punishing everyone for the actions of one or two or three people is the height of lazy discipline.
Depends on the circumstances. In the military, it is used to build team cohesiveness -- if one person falls down on the job, then the whole unit fails. It's used to illustrate, vividly, that your actions have consequences that affect not only you, but those around you.
Yeah yeah anytime I got punished like that either because my brother was acting up or someone in class ruined something for the group I never felt that was justified and always resented the person who got in trouble and the person doing the punishing.
In jr police academy when I was an explorer this kid kept acting up and he had us on our faces all day doing push ups, he was forced into joining and was a mouthy little crotch fruit.
He came up to as we were leaving to ask me if he could use my cell to call his parents who weren't there yet. I told him to F off and then I reamed that little SOB a new one.
I unleashed such a verbal beat down on this kid for making all us have to do all that. I was in pain, I could barely use my arms.
He got cussed up and down.
Punishing everyone for the mistakes of a few or one person is always a sure fire way to make people hate you and think you're a tool.
Unfortunate, but many times we are our brothers keepers and fair usually has nothing to do with punishments.
We don't live on an island and we are often responsible (or maybe I should say accountable) for the actions of others - if we like it or not.
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