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Why must parents be ok with teens having sex, just because they will do it anyway? We don't allow them to do many things until they are older, drinking, driving, voting, etc, yet sex, is fine? I don't get it.
That's something which fascinated me about my parent's generation, who came of age in the late 60's: they were all about free love and smoking dope, but once they had teenagers it was a whole different set of ultraconservative standards being applied. Yet, I remember when I was in high school, it was those of with the least amount of parental interference who got in least amount of trouble... guess because we didn't have much to rebel against . Then again, my youth was in the 90's, which predates the hook-up culture; we tended to couple-up and stick to exploring sex within the context of a relationship.
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Originally Posted by dreaminofitall
Comparing safe sex with prostitution and drug addiction.
I don't even know what to say to this.
All I can say is, as much as liberal, progressive political correctness bugs me, thank god this generation is more adult/sophisticated than the last.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 06-16-2015 at 09:02 PM..
That's something which fascinated me about my parent's generation, who came of age in the late 60's: they were all about free love and smoking dope, but once they had teenagers it was a whole different set of standards ultraconservative being applied. Yet, I remember when I was in high school, it was those of with the least amount of parental interference who got in least amount of trouble... guess because we didn't have much to rebel against . Then again, my youth was in the 90's, which predates the hook-up culture; we tended to couple-up and stick to exploring sex within the context of a relationship.
It's a myth believe me. Most people still have sex in a relationship. The concept of the youth being all sexed up has been going on for generations.
I'm really glad to hear that. My kids aren't in their teens yet, so all I hear thus far are the urban legends that trickle down after being embellished upon.
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Originally Posted by ~HecateWhisperCat~
It's a myth believe me. Most people still have sex in a relationship. The concept of the youth being all sexed up has been going on for generations.
Why must parents be ok with teens having sex, just because they will do it anyway? We don't allow them to do many things until they are older, drinking, driving, voting, etc, yet sex, is fine? I don't get it.
There are laws governing all those things. Age of consent is 16 where I live so after 16 its perfectly legal for teens to have sex, and sex isn't a bad thing, its not going to harm them if they are doing it safely - why not be ok with it? I assume you don't stop stop your children from drinking/voting/driving once they are of legal age so why sex?
(I fully understand not wanting to allow it in your home if your teenager/their partner hasn't reached age of consent yet as then you are allowing them to do something illegal)
For many of us who lived through that period, while we saw people who dabbled in free love and drugs and turned out fine, we also saw many who didn't.
Each child is different. Applying a blanket standard to all children is a mistake. Some kids mature at a very early age and turn out just fine and dandy with minimal oversight. Others absolutely need a strong parental figure and strong boundaries to help them navigate the turbulent waters of teenagedom.
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Originally Posted by Ms.Mathlete
That's something which fascinated me about my parent's generation, who came of age in the late 60's: they were all about free love and smoking dope, but once they had teenagers it was a whole different set of ultraconservative standards being applied. Yet, I remember when I was in high school, it was those of with the least amount of parental interference who got in least amount of trouble... guess because we didn't have much to rebel against . Then again, my youth was in the 90's, which predates the hook-up culture; we tended to couple-up and stick to exploring sex within the context of a relationship.
I will admit, while my parents were fairly conservative and never openly 'allowed' me to have sex at home, me and my now-husband did, both at mine and his place, first with parents out but then progressing to late at night when they were in bed. We dated for over a year before we had sex at all ( when I felt I was ready), so our families knew we were more or less serious at that point. We started dating at 16 and 19, were each other's firsts and first serious relationship, and have now been married for nine years. Having sex at home did not make irresponsible hussies or teen parents from either of us. If anything I was petrified of pregnancy and made sure we were being 300% careful all the time.
So honestly no, I don't get the huge deal about not allowing sex under your roof just for the sake of 'not making it easy for them'. Smacks of hypocrisy to me. For me it would really depend on the circumstances. If I saw they were both responsible and mature enough and in a caring committed relationship, I would stay out of the way after making sure they were using protection. Not that I would probably come out and issue an invitation or say anything, but I wouldn't proactively forbid it either. Most likely, as it was with our parents, it would be a 'don't ask don't tell' scenario, where everyone sort of understands what's going on without necessarily discussing it.
I really don't get the whole 'someone else's daughter' thing either. If I had a,daughter I would consider it my job to monitor her activity and teach her to make responsible choices - NOT the parents of her bf or anyone else. It would have never occurred to me to to blame someone else's parents for allowing their son to have sex with my daughter. My child is my responsibility, and if I felt she was making the wrong choices I would blame myself and myself only. However, to protect myself from these types of blame-shifting parents, that is why I would never openly SAY that I am condoning sex at my place, I simply wouldn't do much to obstruct it - then at least no one can accuse me of somehow 'permitting' their child to have sex - as if its my duty to watch out for someone else's child.
They are going to have sex, as a parent you really have no say anymore once the get old enough to have it in their heads. Why not let them do it at home? There at least you have some idea what is going on in their lives and can give support and counsle when needed.
Age of consent?? I can't believe people are bringing this up...
When was the last time you heard of 2 underage kids being prosecuted for having sex? That just does not happen anymore. Every once in a while you might hear of an 18 year old getting in trouble for banging a 16 year old, but even that is more or less accepted, even though it's technically illegal or statuatory rape or whatever. I think those laws are antiquated.
Pretty much I have read this and if you can't come up with any reason other than religious for kids not having safe sex, you should probably bow out of this topic
I wasn't suggesting that everyone turned out fine, but those who didn't were the statistical outliers, no? It's no different than any other generation, or any other activity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tallybalt
For many of us who lived through that period, while we saw people who dabbled in free love and drugs and turned out fine, we also saw many who didn't.
Each child is different. Applying a blanket standard to all children is a mistake. Some kids mature at a very early age and turn out just fine and dandy with minimal oversight. Others absolutely need a strong parental figure and strong boundaries to help them navigate the turbulent waters of teenagedom.
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. Then again, my youth was in the 90's, which predates the hook-up culture; we tended to couple-up and stick to exploring sex within the context of a relationship.
