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Old 06-26-2015, 01:39 PM
 
Location: Homestead
59 posts, read 69,097 times
Reputation: 101

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Hello guys. This is my very 1st post! So let me get down to the nitty-gritty.

I'm going to be a senior in high school this coming August. I will admit, I slacked off my 3 years in high school. Since I go to a magnet school that is regarded as one of the best in my county, I was placed on academic probation. I finally made it off the list at the end of this year, unfortunately my GPA isn't that good. I have a 2.5 unweighted and 2.8 weighted.

I am planning on taking the SAT and ACT in October (I waited because I have bad vision due to being born with congenital glaucoma in both eyes so I had to get my waivers first) I am in a good amount of clubs at my school (BSU, 5000 Role Models, Future Business Leaders of America, my team won the 2015 Geography Bee of our district and I was the team captain) and I also have 143 community service hours.

My mom is now constantly irate at my subpar grades and me and her constantly get into arguments. She often berates and curses me out and now threatens that when I graduate from high school, I will be swiftly kicked out if I don't get into a four year university. My only full-blooded sibling, my older brother, took NINE YEARS to graduate college, attending 5 different schools and the 1st 3 were all community colleges because my brother was trying to chase his dream of making it to the NFL, which didn't pan out. However, my mom WAS ALL THE WAY SUPPORTIVE when he was school-hopping and didn't have any issues with it, but she wants to be so tight and headstrong with me!

My dad, forget about it. My dad was a serial cheater that ended up leaving my mom for a stripper that he had 3 outside kids with. Due to me being the child of the woman she took my dad from, my dad's wife dislikes me with a strong passion and as a result our relationship is severely strained.

My mom doesn't want me to go to our local community college, which is actually the best in the nation, because all the people she knew that went there took many years to finish, not realizing that those people also had full time jobs while getting their degree. Heck, my mom took 6 years to get her bachelor's (although it was from a different school) If I went the community college route, I could go there for 2 years, get my AA and go to any school in the state of Florida as a 3rd year student.

My only other lifeline, my godmother, firmly agrees with my mom on everything so if I get kicked out, I will literally have nowhere else to go except a homeless shelter. My brother lives in New York and he lives with his girlfriend who's pregnant so he can't help me, but he agrees with my mom so he wouldn't anyway.

Can you guys give me any words of advice? What should I do?

(I put this in Parenting because it involved my mom, but if it belongs somewhere else, mods please move.)
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Old 06-26-2015, 02:13 PM
 
13,141 posts, read 20,713,114 times
Reputation: 35319
Yes. My advice is to spend your time this summer doing the free on-line SAT prep. Your gpa, plus extra-curricular involvement, along with a good SAT score, will get you into many schools. They won't be top tier ones, but you don't sound like that matters. Do not let your gpa drop below a 2.5. Try and raise it a couple of points, and you'll be ok.

Aim high. Your mother is correct. Too many community college students do not continue.
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Old 06-26-2015, 02:27 PM
 
11,636 posts, read 20,388,856 times
Reputation: 12159
Quote:
Originally Posted by 786man View Post
My only full-blooded sibling, my older brother, took NINE YEARS to graduate college, attending 5 different schools and the 1st 3 were all community colleges because my brother was trying to chase his dream of making it to the NFL, which didn't pan out. However, my mom WAS ALL THE WAY SUPPORTIVE when he was school-hopping and didn't have any issues with it, but she wants to be so tight and headstrong with me!
Your mother's attitude towards your brother is irrelevant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 786man View Post
Can you guys give me any words of advice? What should I do?
If you want to go to college then make that happen. If I am reading your post correctly you are in southern Florida. The requirements to attend FAU or FIU are not that high. You could also apply to FGCU.

If you don't want to go to college then start making plans to get a good paying job when you graduate.
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Old 06-26-2015, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Chapel Hill, N.C.
36,478 posts, read 43,591,057 times
Reputation: 47220
Is there anybody you could room with in a small apartment if you got a job? i say this cause college is too expensive if somebody is not ready for it. You just might not be ready. Being on your own and realizing how important a degree is might be exactly what you need.

I was 17 when I went to college for the first time. Big mistake, very immature. I lasted 2 years and dropped out with 1.89 GPA. I pounded a typewriter for a living all the while taking a few night courses hoping to one day finish. At 27 my father saw how determined i was and offered to help me go full time. I got my BS in Economics in only 1 year and graduated with High Honors. then I got my MBA in finance top in my class. it was simply a matter of maturity in my case.

Ask your parents if they have an education fund set aside for you. Tell them you are thinking you need some time to mature and be on your own. They might see your maturity in a few years and help you go to school full time. But by all means keep picking up general courses every semester at that junior college.
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Old 06-26-2015, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Homestead
59 posts, read 69,097 times
Reputation: 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by no kudzu View Post
Is there anybody you could room with in a small apartment if you got a job? i say this cause college is too expensive if somebody is not ready for it. You just might not be ready. Being on your own and realizing how important a degree is might be exactly what you need.

I was 17 when I went to college for the first time. Big mistake, very immature. I lasted 2 years and dropped out with 1.89 GPA. I pounded a typewriter for a living all the while taking a few night courses hoping to one day finish. At 27 my father saw how determined i was and offered to help me go full time. I got my BS in Economics in only 1 year and graduated with High Honors. then I got my MBA in finance top in my class. it was simply a matter of maturity in my case.

Ask your parents if they have an education fund set aside for you. Tell them you are thinking you need some time to mature and be on your own. They might see your maturity in a few years and help you go to school full time. But by all means keep picking up general courses every semester at that junior college.
My mom had a fund for me but she got rid of it when I was in middle school and spent it because she fiured I would get a full ride when it was time for college
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Old 06-26-2015, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,331 posts, read 1,790,180 times
Reputation: 3285
If your not ready for school no amount of parental hand wringing and guilt trips will make you ready. Try getting a cheap place with a friend and work for a couple years and see how you like it.
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Old 06-26-2015, 03:00 PM
 
Location: Kentucky
474 posts, read 297,730 times
Reputation: 2100
If you have no other options you might consider the Navy. You will have a place to live, food, and get money for college when you are ready for it.

Good luck, Rg
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Old 06-26-2015, 03:04 PM
 
Location: Colorado Springs
4,331 posts, read 1,790,180 times
Reputation: 3285
Quote:
Originally Posted by raggedjim View Post
If you have no other options you might consider the Navy. You will have a place to live, food, and get money for college when you are ready for it.

Good luck, Rg
The military is also another great option. The GI bill really helps our vets out thats for sure.
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Old 06-26-2015, 03:35 PM
 
13,675 posts, read 13,502,093 times
Reputation: 39794
Your mom sounds nuts. Beyond the haranguing and whatnot, why would ANYONE assume that their child would get a full ride? No one gets that unless they are coming out of extreme poverty and extraordinarily gifted in some area.

And to eliminate community college as an option? More crazy. Sure lots of students don't finish, but a lot of them shouldn't have gone in the first place.

All of that said, she doesn't owe you a college education, and it doesn't sound like you could rely on her anyway. So here are my suggestions to you:

As others have said, get a house/apartment with other people your age. Get a job. Work for a while. Live simply and avoid racking up debt. Use the time to explore the job market and map out a path for yourself. Maybe you go into a trade (electricians and plumbers do very well) or maybe the military or maybe sales. Maybe you go to college. Who knows? But if you do any of those things, have flexible plan to guide your future decisions. And if you go to college, make damn sure you choose a career that will pay for any loans and that you are well-suited to.

For the record, I don't have kids, but if you were my son, I'd have made your life miserable if you were bringing home crap grades because you were goofing off. I wouldn't have waited until it was too late to do anything about it and then freaked out. So in my opinion, you're right that your mother is messed up, but there's nothing you can do about it except take responsibility for your own part in your situation and move forward as wisely as possible.
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Old 06-26-2015, 03:40 PM
 
38 posts, read 28,637 times
Reputation: 99
join the military and cut off all contact with your family.
Moderator cut: delete

Last edited by Miss Blue; 06-28-2015 at 06:04 AM.. Reason: language
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