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Old 07-03-2015, 11:28 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,745,148 times
Reputation: 28029

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tlarnla View Post
In reply to some questions:

1. DD is 7.

2. Doggy is not well trained at all. We have her litter trained, but she still disobeys sometimes. She has almost no obedience training. She does behave much better for me, but DH and DD let her do whatever she wants.

3. Dog is a chiweenie; half chihuahua and half dachshund.

4. I don't know what DH gets from the dog that he doesn't get from us. I suppose it might be a link to his childhood? He had small dogs when he was a kid. I also suspect he may have got the dog in an attempt to derail our plans to move back to the US. Immediately after he got it he started telling DD that we'll have to give up the dog if we move. That made me mad!

5. The decision to get a dog was DH's. I didn't think it was a good idea, because we were making plans to move overseas; and I had too much on my plate already. I told him not to show a picture of the dog to DD until we had time to think about it, but he did, so she helped him plead for the dog. Then he told me the breeder would probably kill her if we didn't take her, and I didn't want to be responsible for that. (But when I offered to help find homes for the other puppies, he said no, so maybe his story of killing the puppies was a lie?)

6. Daughter is 7, going into 2nd grade.

7. Yes, she is an only child.

8. Yes, DH has had dogs before. He had 2 growing up, one they had to give away when they moved, and one they kept until old age. His parents also have one now, that is very old.

9. DH works a lot, but he did spend a lot of his free time playing with DD before we got the dog. He spends less time with her now, because much of his play time is spent playing with the dog instead of DD.

Some of the comments in here about pecking order and dogs becoming aggressive to kids make sense. Our dog is always humping DD's legs, and a couple relatives said that is a dog's way of establishing authority over a person.
Also, I suppose the dog is pretty aggressive to DD. She's always digging her fangs into DD's clothing and hair, and pulling on her clothes and hair. DD's clothing are getting filled with holes from it.

Plus the dog often growls at DD, either when they're playing, or even if the dog is playing with DD's hair while she reads. I don't like it. I interpret growling as anger or intimidation, and don't like to hear it directed at my daughter.

DH interprets it to mean that DD must be doing something to hurt the dog. DH gets mad at DD when he hears the growling, because he assumes that DD is being mean to the dog. But I've seen them play, and that's not why she growls. She does it when she's ripping at DD's hair and clothing, and she starts pulling and whipping her head side to side while she does it, like she's in battle with her or something. DD thinks it's funny, but then DH yells at her to be nice to the dog, when she wasn't doing anything. THe dog doesn't growl at us adults. (I have seen her growl at DD's friends though, and at other dogs.)
These things are dangerous and need to stop now. Your daughter needs to tell the dog no in a loud and firm voice when she does something that is not acceptable. No humping, no nipping, no tossing her head and growling at your daughter. The dog also needs to see your daughter take precedence over her...your daughter needs to get attention from her dad while he ignores the dog. He needs to give things to your daughter while the dog gets none. And after your daughter has gotten her attention and gone to do something else, then your husband can give the dog a little attention. He needs to do this until the dog gets the idea that it's got a lower status than your daughter in the pack.

Chiweenies have a reputation for being stubborn and difficult to train. I think your idea to find her a new home before your overseas move is a good one. She might do best in a home where there aren't small children.
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Old 07-04-2015, 09:18 AM
 
948 posts, read 911,902 times
Reputation: 1850
Aside from my in-laws, everybody I know here has small children.


Mother-in-law's dog died yesterday. Funeral was today. He was 14.
Giving the dog to her might help her get over her grief.
But DH said they're not supposed to have any more dogs. (And father-in-law has been complaining a lot about all the medical bills for their old dog, so he might not want another one.)
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Old 07-04-2015, 11:51 AM
 
7,743 posts, read 15,812,782 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tlarnla View Post
Aside from my in-laws, everybody I know here has small children.


Mother-in-law's dog died yesterday. Funeral was today. He was 14.
Giving the dog to her might help her get over her grief.
But DH said they're not supposed to have any more dogs. (And father-in-law has been complaining a lot about all the medical bills for their old dog, so he might not want another one.)
You have someone who wants to take the dog. Don't pass the dog to your MIL (and given what you've said about her, the problem isn't going to be corrected and your daughter will still be at risk when she goes to grandma's). Personally, I think getting a new dog right after the death of the previous one is the worst time to get a new addition.


You and your husband need to not adopt/buy any more dogs until you've done extensive research on both the breeds and dog behavior. It's a huge disservice to everyone and the dog.
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Old 07-04-2015, 12:29 PM
 
2,288 posts, read 3,223,529 times
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I'd want to get rid of hubby for how he lied about getting the dog and especially for how its turned out. If I couldn't dump him, while he's at work the dog would find a good home. I'd tell him it got loose and disappeared. I'd never risk a child or any human over a dog. I'm a huge dog lover and spoil my two to pieces, but my grand daughters come 1st. I would never tolerate the pups hurting them.

I would Not take the dog to the US, she would be rehomed before the move. If you cant be sneaky, put your foot down. I'm usually against lying, but you don't owe the truth to a man that said what he did.
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Old 07-05-2015, 03:16 PM
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,739 posts, read 1,906,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by southwestW View Post
True, I would do the same. But I think the OP really is not realizing how serious situation is. And she clearly does not know anything about the dogs. Maybe there are some other underlining issues. First person needs to be aware how serious this is. I think OP is desperate for somebody to say that behavior is Ok. There are a lot of crazy people e out there thinking dogs Are more important. So far nobody is giving her that and that is good. Hopefully she will realize this is bad. Sadly this is one of those cases when it might be more likely neighbor will report it to CPS. They do not live in the U.S. So maybe OP has nowhere to go. All I can say is poor child is abused. Hope she ends OK. If a dog did that to my child I would demand that dog be put down immediately. I remember dog abused me when I was 9 or 10. It was a stray nobody picked up. My grandfather actually killed the dog. Nothing is more important then children.


No. Nothing is more important than children to YOU. To those of us without any, our pets rank first.

And your grandfather should be in jail.
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Old 07-05-2015, 03:17 PM
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,739 posts, read 1,906,783 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post
You have someone who wants to take the dog. Don't pass the dog to your MIL (and given what you've said about her, the problem isn't going to be corrected and your daughter will still be at risk when she goes to grandma's). Personally, I think getting a new dog right after the death of the previous one is the worst time to get a new addition.


You and your husband need to not adopt/buy any more dogs until you've done extensive research on both the breeds and dog behavior. It's a huge disservice to everyone and the dog.
I feel that once someone proves themselves to be of the "Pets are disposable" school then they should be banned from adopting pets again.
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Old 07-05-2015, 03:22 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,613,835 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bandon View Post

No. Nothing is more important than children to YOU. To those of us without any, our pets rank first.
Neither here nor there.
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Old 07-06-2015, 11:08 PM
 
3,279 posts, read 5,290,433 times
Reputation: 6149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bandon View Post
[/b]

No. Nothing is more important than children to YOU. To those of us without any, our pets rank first.

And your grandfather should be in jail.
Nothing is more important than children to ANYONE, whether they have children or not, who has the good sense to realize that people come first. A dog or cat is not at a child's level of importance, and to assert that a pet is at that level is perverted.

I can understand that, within one's one world, if they have no children, then their pets don't have any children to supersede them, so they can prioritize them however they feel. However, if, say, your dog hurts a human child in public, your dog has to go. Period. In the world at large, people matter more than animals, and your dog or cat comes way down on the list, in terms of society at large, compared to a human being.

If the grandfather should be in jail for shooting a dog that was harming a child, should he be in jail for killing a copperhead snake if it's found in the yard? Should he be in jail for spraying for cockroaches, or setting mouse traps? Why should it be OK for him to rid his yard of such pests but when a dog or cat is involved suddenly it's different?
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Old 07-07-2015, 06:20 PM
 
227 posts, read 194,530 times
Reputation: 511
Your husband is a narcissist. You think he's magically going to change because you talked with him? No, that's not how it works. Demand the dog be re-homed. Or better yet, leave DH and the dog in Japan. I'm not even joking.
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Old 07-08-2015, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Pacific Northwest
1,739 posts, read 1,906,783 times
Reputation: 3449
Quote:
Originally Posted by shyguylh View Post
Nothing is more important than children to ANYONE, whether they have children or not, who has the good sense to realize that people come first. A dog or cat is not at a child's level of importance, and to assert that a pet is at that level is perverted.

I can understand that, within one's one world, if they have no children, then their pets don't have any children to supersede them, so they can prioritize them however they feel. However, if, say, your dog hurts a human child in public, your dog has to go. Period. In the world at large, people matter more than animals, and your dog or cat comes way down on the list, in terms of society at large, compared to a human being.

If the grandfather should be in jail for shooting a dog that was harming a child, should he be in jail for killing a copperhead snake if it's found in the yard? Should he be in jail for spraying for cockroaches, or setting mouse traps? Why should it be OK for him to rid his yard of such pests but when a dog or cat is involved suddenly it's different?
Your opinion. Your children don't come before my dog to me. If your child hurts my dog, sorry but your kid deserves to get nipped at. This is the way parents used to teach their children. It was a learning moment. You learned to respect animals space. My dog isn't going anywhere.
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