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The OsamaCare mandates dictate what employers must supply to employees. Those directives do not apply to what family members will supply to one another. IOW, the 4th Amendment may protect my child from having her car searched by police without a warrant, but that doesn't stop me from searching her room in my house at anytime I feel like it if I suspect she's keeping pot there.
My house, or if I'm paying for it in any way, my rules. Period. No discussion, no debate.
OP, I also agree it doesn't really make a difference. If she's splitting an apartment with another girl vs a boyfriend, they're still living off campus, "playing house" as others seem to like to say.
When I went away to school for a year, I remember a girl who lived in the dorm room next to me. Her parents wanted her in a dorm room and they paid for it. For the entire year, she never spent a single night there. Her roommate hardly saw her---only saw her when she was going in and out, maybe picking up something she wanted that she kept stored in her room. All the meanwhile, she spent every night with her boyfriend. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Frankly, if I had a kid going to college, the only reason I wouldn't want to pay for them to live with a significant other is the fact that there is a good chance they will inevitably break up. If this happened in the middle of the year, who is going to move out? How easy will it be to find a new place? Who will be left paying on this place if one moves out? Of course, there are plenty of horror stories with roommates as well, so truth be told you never know.
How would you even enforce this? If she had coverage for BC she would just use it. You would never even know.
You are entitled to run your family any way you like. I think it's hopelessly outdated and throws up walls between you and your children (we are talking about adult here not young teens). However, I don't dispute that you can do whatever makes you feel good. If it makes you feel good to pretend that you aren't contributing to your adult's sex life that's fine. It's ridiculous, but fine.
I'm not going to get into the morality/practicality of parents paying for birth control. But one thing you said struck a chord:
"we are talking about adults here, not young teens"
Umm . . . no -- they are not adults. They may be adults in the eyes of the law at the age of 18 (or 21, in some cases), but an ADULT is fully responsible for their living and their life. Someone who is dependent on someone else for the very food that they eat, the clothes that they wear, the automobile that they drive, the insurance for the health care and the education that they are receiving does NOT get to pick and choose what parts of being an adult they get to enjoy and what parts they get a bye on.
This kind of mentality is what is contributing to a nanny-style government -- kids who grow up knowing that someone else is always going to be taking care of them, so they don't learn the satisfaction of being an independent and fully-functioning adult who can made decisions about their life without permission from anyone -- be it Mommy and Daddy, or the government.
OP, I also agree it doesn't really make a difference. If she's splitting an apartment with another girl vs a boyfriend, they're still living off campus, "playing house" as others seem to like to say.
When I went away to school for a year, I remember a girl who lived in the dorm room next to me. Her parents wanted her in a dorm room and they paid for it. For the entire year, she never spent a single night there. Her roommate hardly saw her---only saw her when she was going in and out, maybe picking up something she wanted that she kept stored in her room. All the meanwhile, she spent every night with her boyfriend. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Frankly, if I had a kid going to college, the only reason I wouldn't want to pay for them to live with a significant other is the fact that there is a good chance they will inevitably break up. If this happened in the middle of the year, who is going to move out? How easy will it be to find a new place? Who will be left paying on this place if one moves out? Of course, there are plenty of horror stories with roommates as well, so truth be told you never know.
If my daughter wanted to live with her BF in college, I would discourage it for the reason bolded above. But other than that, if I were willing and able to pay for rent for an apartment with a friend, I'd be willing to pay for it if she were living with a BF.
When I went away to school for a year, I remember a girl who lived in the dorm room next to me. Her parents wanted her in a dorm room and they paid for it. For the entire year, she never spent a single night there. Her roommate hardly saw her---only saw her when she was going in and out, maybe picking up something she wanted that she kept stored in her room. All the meanwhile, she spent every night with her boyfriend. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Cute. I did that too.
Quote:
there is a good chance they will inevitably break up. If this happened in the middle of the year, who is going to move out? How easy will it be to find a new place? Who will be left paying on this place if one moves out?
If there is a good chance of something, it isn't inevitable.
I'm not going to get into the morality/practicality of parents paying for birth control. But one thing you said struck a chord:
"we are talking about adults here, not young teens"
Umm . . . no -- they are not adults. They may be adults in the eyes of the law at the age of 18 (or 21, in some cases), but an ADULT is fully responsible for their living and their life. Someone who is dependent on someone else for the very food that they eat, the clothes that they wear, the automobile that they drive, the insurance for the health care and the education that they are receiving does NOT get to pick and choose what parts of being an adult they get to enjoy and what parts they get a bye on.
This kind of mentality is what is contributing to a nanny-style government -- kids who grow up knowing that someone else is always going to be taking care of them, so they don't learn the satisfaction of being an independent and fully-functioning adult who can made decisions about their life without permission from anyone -- be it Mommy and Daddy, or the government.
Most 4 year college , people cannot afford that on minium wage and you need your parents' info for federal loans. If you say no, you alienate your children and make worst than has been.
Most 4 year college , people cannot afford that on minium wage and you need your parents' info for federal loans. If you say no, you alienate your children and make worst than has been.
Then the onus is on the child to behave in such a way that the parents remain agreeable to providing for their needs rather than demand that the parents provide for their wants as well. What's wrong with the having the one who writes the check decide what the terms will be?
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