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Because he is so tall (6'3) we would have needed a car that was larger to accommodate us all, plus we rightly assumed any and all sons would be as tall or taller. Right now, we have an Escape, just the one car. My son is now 15 and 6'1 - with the seats having to be arranged for their comfort, it's a tight fit. I'm 5'7, daughter is 5'4. If we had a third child, they would have to be much, much younger (hence, smaller) to fit us all in one vehicle.
My issue is not with the choice that she made, because that would make me a hypocrite. Women don't *have* to have more than one kid. they don't have to have kids at all!
It's her smarmy, conceited delivery as well as abuse of the word "sacrifice" that chaps my hide. Choosing to forego a hypothetical kid isn't a sacrifice. Having "only one" family vacation in various locales is considered a luxury. There are many people who don't take vacations. Growing up as the child of a single divorcee, my "vacations" were local (excepting trips to see my father's side of the family). I didn't see Disney World until I had a job. My family doesn't take yearly vacations..not when airfare for each of us is $300-400, and not including room, board, and everything else. Taking my kids to my father's ancestral home of Brasil would cost my family quite a bit of money! NOne of the things she rattled off were true sacrifices. And God forbid if she would have to actually work for a living to help pay for that dream house.
Her use of the word sacrifice is an INSULT to every person who truly has sacrificed in one way or another.
Yes, and one they paid full price for when they were newlyweds. That was their first financial mistake. Could have acquired all they wanted for free in the resale market, or just rented the space from people who couldnt use their week when it came due. Makes me wonder what other financial mistakes they have made along the way.
My other point would be that a "dream house" would change as your life changed. Have small children, then an open concept is nice so you can keep an eye on them from all parts of the house. But as they age, and their friends are around, the noise becomes overwhelming and you want a few more walls in between you and them. Then when they are older teenagers, you want fewer walls so there are fewer places for them to hide and get in trouble.
Not sure why you guys are giving her so much Flack.
She's obviously done a lot of homework before considering another child (something that MOST people don't do).
Raising kids in a GOOD HOME that will enable them to grow into healthy productive human beings IS the TOUGHEST job there is...
...UNLESS you happened to have millions and can afford house maids, servants, private schools and tutors, doctor bills AND GOD FORBID your child is born with a handicap. Then, what will you do ???
She sounds like she's suffering from UN-necessary guilt.
I don't see a problem with her decision.
She's already got 2 kids...what's the problem ?
..
You're right, she is getting a lot of flack. And I agree, her reasoning is very sensible, and people have to make well-thought-out decisions regarding their financial future. I don't disagree with anything you said. I do find it distasteful that her very first objection to having another child was that they would have to downsize and probably move. To me, that indicates a lack of sharing space that was common in my family. The tone of the article seemed very self-congratulatory, but I didn't have a problem with her choice not to have any more children. My own kids are 17 and 19 ... and 11.
Sorry, but if you opt for the house over the kid, you didn't want the kid that much. So don't act like it was a painful decision. They had a lifestyle they wanted to maintain. Ok, great. But don't act like it was a difficult decision or something like that. They chose the McMansion. We get it. But they weren't headed for some sort of economic disaster if they went for the kid, just a smaller house in a not-as-great neighborhood. Her uterus may be aching, but sounds like she could fix that with a couple of Tylenol.
I think people may be attacking her because she has this air of entitlement and seems to think they made a difficult decision to remain in the upper middle class with 2 kids rather than settling for middle class with 3 kids. It's great that they were thoughtful about planning their family, but um, that's really about it.
My issue is not with the choice that she made, because that would make me a hypocrite. Women don't *have* to have more than one kid. they don't have to have kids at all!
It's her smarmy, conceited delivery as well as abuse of the word "sacrifice" that chaps my hide. Choosing to forego a hypothetical kid isn't a sacrifice. Having "only one" family vacation in various locales is considered a luxury. There are many people who don't take vacations. Growing up as the child of a single divorcee, my "vacations" were local (excepting trips to see my father's side of the family). I didn't see Disney World until I had a job. My family doesn't take yearly vacations..not when airfare for each of us is $300-400, and not including room, board, and everything else. Taking my kids to my father's ancestral home of Brasil would cost my family quite a bit of money! NOne of the things she rattled off were true sacrifices. And God forbid if she would have to actually work for a living to help pay for that dream house.
Her use of the word sacrifice is an INSULT to every person who truly has sacrificed in one way or another.
Yeah. I think this is where most of the venom comes from. That family lives a VERY comfortable life. Forgoing a third child to maintain that ridiculous level of comfort is a strategic decision, not a sacrifice.
I always laugh at the assumption young people like this make that they have absolute control over their lives.
She thinks this is a bad problem worth writing about. LOL
So what happens if she accidentally gets pregnant ... with twins?? Or if hubby who planned so carefully gets laid off??
I was going to have 2 children. Took years of fertility treatment. Finally got pregnant with my second child. However, one decided he wanted company,so my planned one child turned into two. Neither of my sons will confess to being the guilty party.
I found the article rather whiny. By all means, enjoy your stuff, but quit whining already.
Such drama! You want a big house instead of a third child, fine. But "sacrifice"?
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