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Absolutely. My brothers went to dancing school and have beautiful manners. I got a thank you note from one of them the other day. There is no sexism involved, they went through the exact same thing my sister and I did.
Thank you.
I agree. That is a really rude thing to say. Every southerner knows "Bless Your Heart" means Go F%^$ Yourself.
Take it as you want....manners can be a two edged sword....they sometimes have nothing to do with being nice. This is a case in point.
Having manners is not sexist and are very good skills for either gender to have a working knowedge of (why else would I put my daughter though Cotillion if I didn't see the worth?) ....but making sure girls are taught to be soft and submissive and put up with bad behavior because it's 'unlady-like' to complain....then...well...I am very glad most parents don't teach their daughters to put up with it anymore or their sons to behave this way.
No way should we go back to the days when women were considered nothing more than an extention of what ever male had power over her....all for the sake of outdated...and fake...civility.
I'll take a polite child/young adult over a 'lady-like' one any day of the week.
I don't necessarily agree with your mother's definition of a "lady" so no, I'm not raising my daughter like that. Is she confident, kind, compassionate, humble, and goes about life with a servant's heart? I hope one day, she's only 7
I was raised with this kind of philosophy, and tried to instill it in my daughter. She was a product of her environment, and so rejected some things. She was smart to do this.
She was raised in the 70s. The first thing that I remember her being adamant about was not desiring to be a cheerleader. I hoped that she might, since she wasn't interested in playing sports, but she recognized that flopping around being cute was not her cup of tea either. Then, when she got married in 1993, she was adamant that she was not going to be addressed as Mrs. Todd Whatever, but by her own name.
In the big picture, my daughter knows how to behave in social situations, and so does her daughter, despite the fact that some old fashioned social conventions have gone by the wayside.
Having manners is not sexist and are very good skills for either gender to have a working knowedge of (why else would I put my daughter though Cotillion if I didn't see the worth?) ....but making sure girls are taught to be soft and submissive and put up with bad behavior because it's 'unlady-like' to complain....then...well...I am very glad most parents don't teach their daughters to put up with it anymore or their sons to behave this way.
No way should we go back to the days when women were considered nothing more than an extention of what ever male had power over her....all for the sake of outdated...and fake...civility.
I'll take a polite child/young adult over a 'lady-like' one any day of the week.
I don't know where you get manners = soft submissive but it is a screwed up analogy.
No where, in any one of the role models I've had in my life did anyone teach or display being submissive or to put up with bad behavior. If anything I was taught to get out of bad situations in a hurry.
Agreed but in all fairness, that is not what the OP said. Even when she came back to clarify, she specifically only mentioned how girls should be raised.
She easily could have posted asking whether parents were raising their children with manners. Or even whether parents we're raising young ladies and gentlemen. She did not.
This is not only about manners.
Exactly. She asked if you were raising your daughters to me ladies, not children to be polite. And then she went on to talk about what was appropriate and inappropriate for women - not people in general, just women - and how they need to behave for men to perceive them positively. If that's not sexism, then I don't know what is.
I don't know where you get manners = soft submissive but it is a screwed up analogy.
No where, in any one of the role models I've had in my life did anyone teach or display being submissive or to put up with bad behavior. If anything I was taught to get out of bad situations in a hurry.
That's pretty ****ed up.
Read the OPs posts....it's more important to her that a daughter be taught to speak softly then have an opinion and boys have no responsibility for their behavior.
That is ****ed up.....and that is what those that think traditional manners are so important think our children should put up with.
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