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Old 07-16-2015, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 13,043,528 times
Reputation: 27078

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Quote:
Originally Posted by RipCityBassWorks View Post
I'm calling a troll on this one, this whole scenario is just too ridiculous and unlikely, I have never heard ever of a mother getting no custody in a divorce ruling.....
Yep, a trifecta of troll.

Child abuse, spousal abuse, losing custody of the children, depression, tyrant ex husband, the only thing she didn't mention was welfare.
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Old 07-17-2015, 12:28 AM
 
413 posts, read 876,219 times
Reputation: 388
Quote:
Originally Posted by RipCityBassWorks View Post
I'm calling a troll on this one, this whole scenario is just too ridiculous and unlikely, I have never heard ever of a mother getting no custody in a divorce ruling.....
I have seen the mother denied custody, even shared custody, when there was concern for the child's well-being. In some cases the mother
is allowed only very brief supervised visits, as infrequent as twice a month, if the child
wishes. Again, the age of the child and type of parent/child relationship and health
of the child & parent are all considered.
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Old 07-17-2015, 04:24 AM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,841,802 times
Reputation: 24135
OP....I am really saddened by the ugly posts you are getting. Brush them off and don't take the bait. There is a lot of good support in these pages too.
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Old 07-17-2015, 04:27 AM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,841,802 times
Reputation: 24135
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncjoy View Post
I have seen the mother denied custody, even shared custody, when there was concern for the child's well-being. In some cases the mother
is allowed only very brief supervised visits, as infrequent as twice a month, if the child
wishes. Again, the age of the child and type of parent/child relationship and health
of the child & parent are all considered.
Honestly, you never know what is going to happen once the courts get involved. Taking the OP at face value, she had some mental health issues, the husband had a lot of power over her and a very good lawyer provided by his father. It wasn't an even playing field. There are lots and lots of similar stories out there. Once you get on the family court crazy train, you never really know where you will end up.

And to say women never lose custody... Maybe in 1971
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Old 07-17-2015, 05:25 AM
 
Location: Howard County, Maryland
1,539 posts, read 2,295,424 times
Reputation: 2450
Your daughter's problems are really beyond the scope of this board. And with you being a non-custodial parent, there is little you can do considering your relationship with your ex. What your daughter needs is a therapist to help her work through these issues; whether they come from psychological trauma or something else. I grew up with a bipolar parent so I am pretty sure your daughter's issues are not stemming from one single incident and one bad day on your part. Living with a bipolar parents meant bad months at my house. I think the best thing you can do for your daughter is to take care of yourself. Stay on your meds; even when you "feel better, feel normal" stay on your meds. You need them like a diabetic needs insulin. Your daughter is old enough to just ask her. Why does she do it? I have a child born in 2007 and I cannot imagine her doing such a thing and allowing herself to be so dirty; just the gross factor alone. I'm sorry for all of you; what a tough situation. FYI, I'm a grown adult now, have come to terms with my childhood and now have a relationship with my father; who is great most months staying on his meds.
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Old 07-17-2015, 07:34 AM
 
2,048 posts, read 2,143,310 times
Reputation: 7247
The above is good advice.

I believe OP is totally real, not a troll. But I do think there's a 'perceived reality' issue here.

OP, you admitted to some pretty destructive bi-polar behaviors in the past. I'm not going to list them, and I do have sympathy for you and hope you continue getting well. But...if those things you said previously are real, that's all a judge would need to take custody away. I'm really sorry, and I know you're missing your kids.

It's great that you're in a good, stable place right now with your new boyfriend. But - is it possible that this fixation with this one potty-training incident is a sign that your BP is popping up again?

For what it's worth, I think it's a lot more common than people are admitting to for kids as old as 8 to have "accidents" now and then. You can be fully potty trained but still not have complete control of your bowels. Most kids grow out of this.
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Old 07-17-2015, 07:40 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
19,480 posts, read 25,037,824 times
Reputation: 51113
Quote:
Originally Posted by katjonjj View Post
Really? You think that kids are affected by one day and one action? It is more likely that the abuse, both physically and emotionally, by the dad to the mom was more devastating. I have a niece who regressed into bathroom problems at 9 and the doctor said she had problems with bladder control. Turns out her father was sexually abusing her.
He's in jail and the bathroom problems are gone.

There could be other issues and the letter could be useful later in court. It's not a potty training issue after the potty training.... My daughter was potty trained at 18 months. If she regressed at 3 years... problem other than training.
I had a 12 year old student who suddenly developed bowel problems. It turned out that her older brother was sexually assaulting her. After he was sent to prison the bowel accidents stopped.
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Old 07-17-2015, 07:46 AM
 
Location: Texas
96 posts, read 87,647 times
Reputation: 346
Quote:
Originally Posted by RipCityBassWorks View Post
I'm calling a troll on this one, this whole scenario is just too ridiculous and unlikely, I have never heard ever of a mother getting no custody in a divorce ruling.....

I can personally vouch that it happens. My ex and I raised seven kids together, 3 were mine and 4 were his, ages 3-12 when we married. He had full custody of his kids. We didn't divorce until all 7 were grown, educated, and married. Then we discovered that we actually had nothing else in common, grew apart, and divorced. But I have posted about all of this in another thread. Just wanted to comment that men do sometimes get custody of their kids.
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Old 07-17-2015, 08:35 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,344,383 times
Reputation: 41482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
I have bipolar disorder, so my thinking & behavior sometimes takes a leap.

And honestly the reason I wanted to train her so young is that I HATED changing diapers. I mean, severely, blood-curdlingly, HATED it, I'd been through the diaper game with her brother for 2 years, so I was determined to minimize that chore.

I was frazzled that day, maybe I always was. I was irritable, impatient, lacking humor. I was trapped at home all day every day with two babbling children, losing my mind. Unhappy. Depressed. I lost my patience that day potty training until her giggles turned to heartbreaking tears.

He hired a very expensive lawyer who gave him full custody of the children. I haven't seen my kids for nearly two months, and when I do get to see them, it's only for a few hours on a weekend.
You need to see a therapist and fix yourself first. You sound unhinged. Expensive lawyers don't take away custody; the acts of the parent do.
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Old 07-17-2015, 08:40 AM
 
16,715 posts, read 19,344,383 times
Reputation: 41482
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
I shook her for a second. Then backed off to regroup.

Ex was awarded full custody because his dad helped him through the process. His dad bought him a lawyer. His dad's ex wife (my ex's mom) took him for all he was worth when they got divorced years ago, so they assumed I would do the same thing. To keep me from comandeering the house & kids & alimony & child support, they used that lawyer to keep me from asking for anything in the divorce. If I didn't have the kids, I couldn't ask him for child support.

My mental health disorder was triggered and exacerbated by being married to him. He was psychologically and physically abusive to me. As recently as today he sent me a psychologically abusive email, and we've been divorced for 4 years.

My bipolar disorder originated in my teens when my parents were neglecting me. The disorder is triggered whenever I'm in dysfunctional relationships.

At this time I am fortunate to be with a very solid, stable, loving man. So I am not triggered right now.
I have a family member with Bipolar Disorder that refuses to stay on her meds, and this is exactly what she does. She blames everyone else for everything that is wrong in her life and does not take any personal responsibility for the things that happen to her or her children.

You are only hurting yourself by not taking your meds.
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