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I'm a good example of an adult child. Quite frankly, I hate adult life. I don't like to drink alcoholic beverages (a staple among other adult men), I'm not very good at socializing (forget relationships), and I have trouble holding down a job. One of my main hobbies is video games, in particular the child friendly Nintendo. It is basically an obsession that I'm not willing to give up. I have an obsession with collecting things. I also enjoy many other things that children do such as watching cartoons and riding bikes. Moderator cut: delete
I'm pretty lucky I have parents who haven't kicked me out of the house yet, but I would like to use this forum to gauge just how lucky I am, so I'll ask this question:
If you had an adult child that refused to move out (like me), what would you do?
Do you pay rent, help around the house and don't interfere with your parent's lives? If you answer yes to all three I would say fine. In general I like having my children who are adults living with me.
Still, though whenever I do converse with others, all I hear about is how they wanted to move out when they became adults. They go from living in a nice large house to a crappy apartment with multiple roommates. Very rarely do I run across another adult who lives like I do.
That's because 'ADULTS' don't live like you do. Adults have grown up and want to be independent people who make their own way in the world. I would not allow one of my kids to treat me like you are treating your parents. If for some reason it was necessary for one of them to live with me, it would be like any other 30-year old roommate, including rent, a even split on the utilities, and rules about chores, hours and behavior.
For the sake of argument, let's turn this around a little. What will you do if, God forbid, your parents split up and neither of them wanted you to live with them? You might be surprised to find out that your wonderful little setup is causing maritial tensions behind the scenes. Or, what if something awful happened like a car accident, and both parents died? Oops....so much for your nice little arrangement! Now you are a lazy, unskilled guy with no job experience, and no real aspirations. Now what? Can you find another family member to mooch off of? Yes, mooch, because that's what you are doing. And you are setting yourself up for a very bad situation later in life.
Maybe you should change your screen name to Peter Pan, because he didn't want to grow up either.
I'm a good example of an adult child. Quite frankly, I hate adult life. I don't like to drink alcoholic beverages (a staple among other adult men), I'm not very good at socializing (forget relationships), and I have trouble holding down a job. One of my main hobbies is video games, in particular the child friendly Nintendo. It is basically an obsession that I'm not willing to give up. I have an obsession with collecting things. I also enjoy many other things that children do such as watching cartoons and riding bikes. Moderator cut: delete
I'm pretty lucky I have parents who haven't kicked me out of the house yet, but I would like to use this forum to gauge just how lucky I am, so I'll ask this question:
If you had an adult child that refused to move out (like me), what would you do?
Why can't you hold down a job, there MUST be something you CAN do? IF you were my kid, and, yes, I am going through SOME of the same thing with my adult son, part of it is my fault, and some of it is his laziness.
I would make sure you have a job and contribute something to the household. Seriously, how can you feel good about yourself playing Nintendo all day and not contributing to the household? Surely, you must feel pretty crappy about yourself.
Also, do you do housework? Do you make sure dinner is on the table for your parents, do you wash dishes?
If you are over 18, and pulled this crap on me {and your mother}, I'd quickly:
1} pack your bags while you WERE at work or "out", and you'd find them on the lawn along with your precious nintendo and video games, you'd better hope it doesn't rain or snow!
2} change all the locks on you
3} call the police if you trespass...see how you like jail as I WON'T Bail your sorry butt out. I'd get an Order of Protection against you.
4}I'd also call your bluff on the suicide thing..if you want to...go ahead. Those who talk about it usually DON'T do it. The mental health system, for lack of better words, LACKS a LOT sometimes, {ask me how I know}. You'd be put in "involuntarily status" to the hospital, under "lock and key" with security guards on "suicide watch", and sometimes strapped down naked {or undies only}in a bare room with a rubber blanket. You WOULD'NT like it, not one bit.
5} if you use{d} my car, it'd be the last time too. I'd take it away.
This thread has really exploded since I've left. Too overwhelmed to respond to everything, but I'll try and see if I can edit the original post and make mention of my autism/Aspergers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FlowerPower00
Why can't you hold down a job, there MUST be something you CAN do? IF you were my kid, and, yes, I am going through SOME of the same thing with my adult son, part of it is my fault, and some of it is his laziness.
I would make sure you have a job and contribute something to the household. Seriously, how can you feel good about yourself playing Nintendo all day and not contributing to the household? Surely, you must feel pretty crappy about yourself.
Also, do you do housework? Do you make sure dinner is on the table for your parents, do you wash dishes?
I do low wage work. I also do house chores as well. I usually spend a good 3 hours daily playing video games. I love my games and would do anything to make sure I still have that time every day to game.
This thread has really exploded since I've left. Too overwhelmed to respond to everything, but I'll try and see if I can edit the original post and make mention of my autism/Aspergers.
I do low wage work. I also do house chores as well. I usually spend a good 3 hours daily playing video games. I love my games and would do anything to make sure I still have that time every day to game.
If you work for 8 hours, sleep for 8 hours, there should still be time left in your day to game. Your parents aren't doing you any favors allowing this to continue.
I do low wage work. I also do house chores as well. I usually spend a good 3 hours daily playing video games. I love my games and would do anything to make sure I still have that time every day to game.
OP, I think you are still missing the point. The issue isn't video games (and contrary to your opinion in your first post, drinking booze, giving up cartoons in favor of football, and dating are NOT required of adult men). The issue isn't even your low wage job, exactly. The issue is that you seem content with the status quo, and that status quo is not and cannot be permanent. You cannot afford the lifestyle you've come to expect on what you earn, and you seem to have no plans to seriously pursue better employment. You're setting yourself up for real difficulties in your later years.
In the long run, if you want to continue your parents' lifestyle, you need to earn your father's salary, because that's the income it takes to actually pay for it. So what steps are you going to take to reach that goal (a middle class salary)?
This thread has really exploded since I've left. Too overwhelmed to respond to everything, but I'll try and see if I can edit the original post and make mention of my autism/Aspergers.
I do low wage work. I also do house chores as well. I usually spend a good 3 hours daily playing video games. I love my games and would do anything to make sure I still have that time every day to game.
I guess I just don't get this.
That determination to play video games could be put to better use.
Have you actually talked to your parents - aside from threatening suicide of course. How do they feel about you living with them? Have they asked you to move?
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