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Old 08-10-2015, 06:36 PM
 
241 posts, read 146,074 times
Reputation: 236

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I'm a good example of an adult child.Quite frankly, I hate adult life. I don't like to drink alcoholic beverages (a staple among other adult men), I'm not very good at socializing (forget relationships), and I have trouble holding down a job. One of my main hobbies is video games, in particular the child friendly Nintendo. It is basically an obsession that I'm not willing to give up. I have an obsession with collecting things. I also enjoy many other things that children do such as watching cartoons and riding bikes. Moderator cut: delete

I'm pretty lucky I have parents who haven't kicked me out of the house yet, but I would like to use this forum to gauge just how lucky I am, so I'll ask this question:

If you had an adult child that refused to move out (like me), what would you do?

Last edited by Miss Blue; 08-12-2015 at 11:16 AM.. Reason: Edited to add your diagnosis in first sentence
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:42 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,928,027 times
Reputation: 32382
You don't get to "refuse" to move out of my house. I would give you a deadline and help you pack. I don't really consider you "lucky." I consider you immature and irresponsible.
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:44 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,127 posts, read 20,244,955 times
Reputation: 26321
What do you do for your parents? Do you help with the housework or yard work, do you wash the cars, do you do laundry, do you cook? Do you pay for your own car insurance and cell phone bill?

Are both of your parents able-bodied and still working? Do they have financial troubles? Do they have other children they're having to support? Is there enough space in the house for everyone? Have they been talking about wishing they could afford to retire?

How you fit in your parents' house really depends on you and on their situation. You might be a great guy who's easy to get along with and who is a joy to be around and who is always quick to help out the parents, or you might be a leech who's using up your parents' retirement savings and making your mom wait on you hand and foot.
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:45 PM
 
241 posts, read 146,074 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
You don't get to "refuse" to move out of my house. I would give you a deadline and help you pack. I don't really consider you "lucky." I consider you immature and irresponsible.
And what if I threatened with something like suicide? Would you really want your son/daughter to die?
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:48 PM
 
241 posts, read 146,074 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
What do you do for your parents? Do you help with the housework or yard work, do you wash the cars, do you do laundry, do you cook? Do you pay for your own car insurance and cell phone bill?

Are both of your parents able-bodied and still working? Do they have financial troubles? Do they have other children they're having to support? Is there enough space in the house for everyone? Have they been talking about wishing they could afford to retire?

How you fit in your parents' house really depends on you and on their situation. You might be a great guy who's easy to get along with and who is a joy to be around and who is always quick to help out the parents, or you might be a leech who's using up your parents' retirement savings and making your mom wait on you hand and foot.
Yes, I help with housework. Yes they are still working. Father has a very good high paying job. Yes it's a very nice house with a very large yard (which is one reason I want to stay). My easy minimum wage job allows me to spend on simple things like the games I buy, my cell phone, and my used car.
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:48 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,928,027 times
Reputation: 32382
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverPlatter View Post
And what if I threatened with something like suicide? Would you really want your son/daughter to die?
I'd get them appropriate mental health care. I would get them appropriate mental health care early to try to avoid a scenario like that all together. I also continually speak to my young kids as if going to college and owning their own homes are a "given." They will have no expectation that they will be able to stay indefinitely.
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:50 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,928,027 times
Reputation: 32382
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverPlatter View Post
I'm a good example of an adult child. Quite frankly, I hate adult life. I don't like to drink alcoholic beverages (a staple among other adult men), I'm not very good at socializing (forget relationships), and I have trouble holding down a job. One of my main hobbies is video games, in particular the child friendly Nintendo. It is basically an obsession that I'm not willing to give up. I have an obsession with collecting things. I also enjoy many other things that children do such as watching cartoons and riding bikes. The real world can go **** itself.

I'm pretty lucky I have parents who haven't kicked me out of the house yet, but I would like to use this forum to gauge just how lucky I am, so I'll ask this question:

If you had an adult child that refused to move out (like me), what would you do?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedgehog_Mom View Post
What do you do for your parents? Do you help with the housework or yard work, do you wash the cars, do you do laundry, do you cook? Do you pay for your own car insurance and cell phone bill?

Are both of your parents able-bodied and still working? Do they have financial troubles? Do they have other children they're having to support? Is there enough space in the house for everyone? Have they been talking about wishing they could afford to retire?

How you fit in your parents' house really depends on you and on their situation. You might be a great guy who's easy to get along with and who is a joy to be around and who is always quick to help out the parents, or you might be a leech who's using up your parents' retirement savings and making your mom wait on you hand and foot.
You are being generous by even asking.
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:56 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,127 posts, read 20,244,955 times
Reputation: 26321
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverPlatter View Post
Yes, I help with housework. Yes they are still working. Father has a very good high paying job. Yes it's a very nice house with a very large yard (which is one reason I want to stay). My easy minimum wage job allows me to spend on simple things like the games I buy, my cell phone, and my used car.
Then it sounds like you're doing what you need to in order to get along with them, and that you're not a financial burden on them.

You might tell them thanks now and then, for not expecting you to move out when you grew up...tell them how much you enjoy being with them. Everybody likes to know they're appreciated.
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Old 08-10-2015, 06:59 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,419 posts, read 37,400,807 times
Reputation: 39024
Refused? Refusal would not be an option. Threaten with suicide? I'd call that bluff and see how you like the mental health system.
Pretty low to pull that on your parents....
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Old 08-10-2015, 07:01 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,836 posts, read 17,135,677 times
Reputation: 40548
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverPlatter View Post
I'm a good example of an adult child. Quite frankly, I hate adult life. I don't like to drink alcoholic beverages (a staple among other adult men), I'm not very good at socializing (forget relationships), and I have trouble holding down a job. One of my main hobbies is video games, in particular the child friendly Nintendo. It is basically an obsession that I'm not willing to give up. I have an obsession with collecting things. I also enjoy many other things that children do such as watching cartoons and riding bikes.
The real world can go **** itself.

I'm pretty lucky I have parents who haven't kicked me out of the house yet, but I would like to use this forum to gauge just how lucky I am, so I'll ask this question:

If you had an adult child that refused to move out (like me), what would you do?
If I had a mildly mentally challenged child I would encourage him or her to gain skills so that they could work in a sheltered workshop or an appropriate low level job. I would also make sure that they gained enough skills that they would be able to live independently in an apartment, possibly with help from a social worker or case worker, or in a group home. After all, my husband and I will not live forever and I would want to make sure that my adult child would be able to survive after we were dead. I would follow a similar strategy if my adult child had mental health issues.

If my adult child was a selfish, lazy, inconsiderate bum I would give him a deadline to move out and be independent, and if they did not I would change the locks and never allow them to set foot in my home again. If I needed to call the police to have them legally evicted I would do that, too.
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