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Yes, they say there will be a big party in the future, but as time goes by, sometimes life gets in the way. My DIL is an only daughter, so her parents are disappointed too, I bet.
It has been a tradition in my extended family for decades for the parents of the groom, or sometimes the parents of thebride, to host a reception in their home town after the wedding, if the actual wedding was held out of town. This started because that generation had large families with many children so most of the couples getting married couldn't afford to invite their cousins (20 to 40 of them) and the cousin's families to the actual wedding. Other people, such as neighbors, HS friends, and others were invited to share the joy of the married couple.
Usually these receptions were held a few weeks after the wedding but on a very rare occasion they were held much later (such as when one of the couple were in the military). Some of these receptions were almost as elaborate as a wedding reception with music & dancing & free beer and a large buffet meal, but most were just large parties or picnics in a big park or hall.
We continued the tradition when our son was married a few years ago. He was married in his wife's hometown (near the college where they both received their graduate degrees) in California. It was difficult, and expensive, for many of his friends, cousins and other relatives to fly out to California for the actual wedding & reception from the Midwest. It turned out that every single one of his cousins ended up attending the reception in our hometown, plus many, many of his friends from HS and undergraduate college, plus others. In addition, there were relatives of the bride who lived in the Midwest, who couldn't attend the actual wedding, who attended this reception.
It was only a simple buffet meal and several hours of socializing held in a building in a park near our house, but everyone loved it.
It has been a tradition in my extended family for decades for the parents of the groom, or sometimes the parents of thebride, to host a reception in their home town after the wedding, if the actual wedding was held out of town. This started because that generation had large families with many children so most of the couples getting married couldn't afford to invite their cousins (20 to 40 of them) and the cousin's families to the actual wedding. Other people, such as neighbors, HS friends, and others were invited to share the joy of the married couple.
Usually these receptions were held a few weeks after the wedding but on a very rare occasion they were held much later (such as when one of the couple were in the military). Some of these receptions were almost as elaborate as a wedding reception with music & dancing & free beer and a large buffet meal, but most were just large parties or picnics in a big park or hall.
We continued the tradition when our son was married a few years ago. He was married in his wife's hometown (near the college where they both received their graduate degrees) in California. It was difficult, and expensive, for many of his friends, cousins and other relatives to fly out to California for the actual wedding & reception from the Midwest. It turned out that every single one of his cousins ended up attending the reception in our hometown, plus many, many of his friends from HS and undergraduate college, plus others. In addition, there were relatives of the bride who lived in the Midwest, who couldn't attend the actual wedding, who attended this reception.
It was only a simple buffet meal and several hours of socializing held in a building in a park near our house, but everyone loved it.
Just something to consider for the future.
This sounds wonderful and fun. With our scenario, though, it would be difficult. We have family spread all over the country, from MA to OH and the bride's family lives in Puerto Rico. The kids have a lot of friends here in Savannah. There may be a party, and a meeting between us and the bride's parents in the future, but it will most likely, thanks to Uncle Sam, be small and impromptu.
It's their decision to make. If what they did makes them happy, than that's their decision.
My G/F and I plan to marry soon. Despite parents wishes, we are probably going to do a small ceremony with limited guests despite parents wanting to invite everyone and anyone and have a big ceremony.
Our reasons against that?
A.) We are busy with house, careers, children (2) and enjoying life
B.) We don't want anyone else to contribute a dime to our wedding (we are mid-30's and financially comfortable and don't need handouts) and do not feel like spending $20K+ for a party when we could put that towards our kids/house/etc.
If my parents came out and told me they were "disappointed" in this choice, I would be kinda angry.
It's their decision to make. If what they did makes them happy, than that's their decision.
My G/F and I plan to marry soon. Despite parents wishes, we are probably going to do a small ceremony with limited guests despite parents wanting to invite everyone and anyone and have a big ceremony.
Our reasons against that?
A.) We are busy with house, careers, children (2) and enjoying life
B.) We don't want anyone else to contribute a dime to our wedding (we are mid-30's and financially comfortable and don't need handouts) and do not feel like spending $20K+ for a party when we could put that towards our kids/house/etc.
If my parents came out and told me they were "disappointed" in this choice, I would be kinda angry.
Oh, I would not tell them I am disappointed either. That's what CD is for.
My mother started collecting jewelry for me the year i was born to be worn on wedding. I can feel your pain. It would have broken her heart not to have a proper ceremony. But look at the brighter side, you have a wonderful daughter in law that loves your son enough to wait for him until he returns! Soon you may have grand children
My mother started collecting jewelry for me the year i was born to be worn on wedding. I can feel your pain. It would have broken her heart not to have a proper ceremony. But look at the brighter side, you have a wonderful daughter in law that loves your son enough to wait for him until he returns! Soon you may have grand children
I must be very unusual. I did not want a big wedding. In fact I just wanted to walk up to the justice of the peace and get thde job done but my DH planned and executed the entire thing, down to writing out the wedding invitations, planning the food, etc. We did decide on music together. But it was a very small wedding with 45 people there. Not the hometown for either one of us.
I'm also glad neither one of my adult kids wanted to go through college graduation or even when they got advanced degrees. I did ask that they have official pictures taken with diplomas (fake ones tied up in ribbon) and their special colors of distinction.
Neither one has plans to marry and I doubt they would want anything special even if they do. My daughter has been a bridesmaid so many times she has seen first hand the stress, expense and confusion these affairs can cause. All her experiences have sworn her off ever having a wedding. Son is atheist and would never consider anything more than legal "ceremony".
I don't care. Their happiness means more to me than a celebration or party.
I must be very unusual. I did not want a big wedding. In fact I just wanted to walk up to the justice of the peace and get thde job done but my DH planned and executed the entire thing, down to writing out the wedding invitations, planning the food, etc. We did decide on music together. But it was a very small wedding with 45 people there. Not the hometown for either one of us.
I'm also glad neither one of my adult kids wanted to go through college graduation or even when they got advanced degrees. I did ask that they have official pictures taken with diplomas (fake ones tied up in ribbon) and their special colors of distinction.
Neither one has plans to marry and I doubt they would want anything special even if they do. My daughter has been a bridesmaid so many times she has seen first hand the stress, expense and confusion these affairs can cause. All her experiences have sworn her off ever having a wedding. Son is atheist and would never consider anything more than legal "ceremony".
I don't care. Their happiness means more to me than a celebration or party.
Funny, but I never had a big wedding either. I never wanted to be the center of attention like that. My daughter had a nice big wedding, and it was very anxiety producing for me as the master planner. It came off great, and the pictures are lovely.
The son in question, is my husband and my only child together, and he is a lot younger than the other kids, so we always sort of hoped for a nice occasion when he got married. Anyway, as I said before, I know the only important thing is he married a nice smart pretty girl who loves him.
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