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For me, the sum is greater than the whole of the parts.
People want immediate gratification, and you're not going to get that in raising kids. It's a marathon, not a sprint.
I like being a parent.
Mine are now grown, and I have six grandkids. There were times I was tired, or worried about bills, but that happens to people without children, too.
The most enjoyable part about being a mom has been watching everyone become the person they are meant to be, or decide to be.
Getting through the teen years depends completely on attitude. The parent's attitude, I mean. You know the kids' are going to be ridiculous, at least at times. So, roll your eyes back at them (once in a while), watch them sort through whatever has them twisted in knots, and chuckle a lot.
Mine did express gratitude when growing up, and now as adults. I don't know why kids wouldn't.
It would be a more accurate survey if they asked parents of grown children once all their children are past 30 years of age. How happy you are with parenting when your kid is 6 is not necessarily how happy you will be with parenting when your kid is 36. I am not a parent myself, but I know a lot of them and from the majority of parents I've known - their happiness in being a parent is directly proportional to (1) how difficult it was to raise them and more importantly (2) how their children turn out as adults.
That's what I'm holding out hope for: the day when I can look back and feel like it was all worth it. But for right now... they just need so damn much it's overwhelming.
Most of my mom friends and I constantly talk about how much parenting sucks. Sometimes I fantasize about times when I was childless and how great that was. I'm waiting for this point where parenting will feel like a joy the way some of the parents I know often say it is and so far that point hasn't come. Like I said my life has meaning now and before I had my son I had no meaning, no real purpose. Now that I have him I'm a better person and everyone who knows me notices the positive changes in me. However they also notice how tired I am, how stressed, how impatient I am, how much I swear and curse because my son drives me bats*** and that's being honest. He will be 4 next month and honestly from 18 months until now it's been h***. He's bad, he doesn't listen, he intentionally tries to get to me, he always wants something, I rarely sit down, he whines and complains and has issues with pooping and speech and so on. He's rough on furniture. So rough. I buy him something and the next week he's broken it. His toys are everywhere and he talks and talks and talks and talks. No it is not fun. Not by a long shot.
I once was a sahm, in order for me to make it through, I had to take Prozac. I can go on and on but by now I'm sure it's clear. Parenting is hard. So hard. But when he smiles at me with both dimples, or hugs me, or gives me kisses and holds me, it's sweet. When he laughs at the same joke as me it's funny. He's really cute and sometimes I live through him. The things he marvels in-really helps shape my perspective in terms of how I view my own life. I have to say that I want other kids-so clearly the experience while difficult, is not so off putting that I don't want more. Lol.
I actually like the baby stage. It's the stage of 2-4 that I'm not liking.
I actually like the baby stage. It's the stage of 2-4 that I'm not liking.
Yeah, the baby and young toddler stage is great; even with a difficult baby, their needs are fairly uncomplicated. After that **** gets real, and you constantly second guess yourself worrying "How did I screw my kids up today?"
Honestly, it depends on the person. A lot of people want kids and then realize that they shouldn't have had them because they never knew how much hard work it would be.
Kids aren't like dogs where you can give them away...
I don't have any kids so I can't comment to the original post...but I'll say this:
My parents had my baby brother when I was 16 so I saw what it took to care for an infant. I always helped as needed, and was happy to do it, but the responsibility was higher than anything else I'd done up to that age. I'd imagine that in itself has some effect on the parents. It was quite eye opening.
Yeah, the baby and young toddler stage is great; even with a difficult baby, their needs are fairly uncomplicated. After that **** gets real, and you constantly second guess yourself worrying "How did I screw my kids up today?"
Pretty much. It's gotten really hard, the baby year was a breeze. When they start walking and talking and don't get there way, etc-now that's hard but when they are little small chubby things that sleep often and can be carried everywhere, now that was not that hard. It was hard but not as hard as it is now.
Holy cow, I must be crazy! I loved being pregnant and I loved when my kids were babies all the way through until they started school. Once they were in school life became a constant series of PTO meetings, Back to School nights, after school music programs, scouting and more. Those years wore me to a frazzle but I feel so blessed to now have three grown children that I love with all my heart!
Parenthood is surely not easy and not for everyone. My son and his significant other don't plan on children and I think that is perfect for them. My two daughters have children and that is perfect for them. I am so glad that I have grandchildren but I am so glad that my son and his s.o. realize that parenthood is not their cup of tea.
Most of my mom friends and I constantly talk about how much parenting sucks. Sometimes I fantasize about times when I was childless and how great that was. I'm waiting for this point where parenting will feel like a joy the way some of the parents I know often say it is and so far that point hasn't come. Like I said my life has meaning now and before I had my son I had no meaning, no real purpose. Now that I have him I'm a better person and everyone who knows me notices the positive changes in me. However they also notice how tired I am, how stressed, how impatient I am, how much I swear and curse because my son drives me bats*** and that's being honest. He will be 4 next month and honestly from 18 months until now it's been h***. He's bad, he doesn't listen, he intentionally tries to get to me, he always wants something, I rarely sit down, he whines and complains and has issues with pooping and speech and so on. He's rough on furniture. So rough. I buy him something and the next week he's broken it. His toys are everywhere and he talks and talks and talks and talks. No it is not fun. Not by a long shot.
I once was a sahm, in order for me to make it through, I had to take Prozac. I can go on and on but by now I'm sure it's clear. Parenting is hard. So hard. But when he smiles at me with both dimples, or hugs me, or gives me kisses and holds me, it's sweet. When he laughs at the same joke as me it's funny. He's really cute and sometimes I live through him. The things he marvels in-really helps shape my perspective in terms of how I view my own life. I have to say that I want other kids-so clearly the experience while difficult, is not so off putting that I don't want more. Lol.
I actually like the baby stage. It's the stage of 2-4 that I'm not liking.
Faith, you sound like you're a wonderful mom. My DD once said of her boys, "the days are long, but the years are fast." At some point you will look back on those years and think that you would give many days to have just one more hour to cuddle them.
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