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Old 08-17-2015, 05:26 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,907 posts, read 35,019,169 times
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Obviously the boys must work harder to become genuine football players, whose contribution to society means so much.
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Old 08-17-2015, 05:36 PM
 
12,932 posts, read 19,831,249 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Here's my question - does any kid actually take those participation trophies seriously? The year I did soccer, my team lost every game. I got some crappy little trophy, and I didn't think it was "hey, you're a winner too!" - even as a kid, I realized it was just a sort of commemorative memento, like the team photo and the end-of-season "banquet" where winning teams were acknowledged on stage. I've always seen those things as being more about building community and a sense of belonging than telling a kid "good job for losing consistently." Same with the ribbons for field day at my school - once you got beyond 1st, 2nd and 3rd, no one really cared.

I can't really understand why people get all huffy about it and freak out. Your kids aren't stupid. They know it's just an acknowledgement that they participated in something, and frankly there's nothing wrong with that. Cripes, you get party favors for showing up at someone's wedding.

It seems kind of mean-spirited to take away trophies from a kid and tell them they didn't "earn" it - were these children under the delusion that they were the champions of the league? I doubt it. Participation trophies say "hey, you were a part of this. Here's something to remember it by." I'd look at my stupid little soccer trophy and laugh about the ball bouncing off of my head more than once and the fun times I had with my teammates. I wasn't under the delusion that I had any significant soccer skills just because I got a little plastic memento.

Parents who get upset about participation trophies would probably be best-served directing their energies into other concerns. Like maybe how their kid is doing in school rather than on the sports field or court.
This is pretty much how I feel too. There were five years between my oldest and middle boys, so by the time #2 was beginning organized sports, eldest had already started a collection of earned trophies. That first participation trophy made him so proud! He had a trophy to put on his shelf just like his brother. And he wanted to sign up for the next season.

I think that given the downward trend for kids to play sports these days, acknowledgement of their time and efforts is a good thing, at least until 7 or so, when they figure out only winners count.
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Old 08-17-2015, 05:46 PM
 
Location: WI
2,820 posts, read 3,067,614 times
Reputation: 4815
Quote:
Originally Posted by JrzDefector View Post
Here's my question - does any kid actually take those participation trophies seriously? The year I did soccer, my team lost every game. I got some crappy little trophy, and I didn't think it was "hey, you're a winner too!" - even as a kid, I realized it was just a sort of commemorative memento, like the team photo and the end-of-season "banquet" where winning teams were acknowledged on stage. I've always seen those things as being more about building community and a sense of belonging than telling a kid "good job for losing consistently." Same with the ribbons for field day at my school - once you got beyond 1st, 2nd and 3rd, no one really cared.

I can't really understand why people get all huffy about it and freak out. Your kids aren't stupid. They know it's just an acknowledgement that they participated in something, and frankly there's nothing wrong with that. Cripes, you get party favors for showing up at someone's wedding.

It seems kind of mean-spirited to take away trophies from a kid and tell them they didn't "earn" it - were these children under the delusion that they were the champions of the league? I doubt it. Participation trophies say "hey, you were a part of this. Here's something to remember it by." I'd look at my stupid little soccer trophy and laugh about the ball bouncing off of my head more than once and the fun times I had with my teammates. I wasn't under the delusion that I had any significant soccer skills just because I got a little plastic memento.

Parents who get upset about participation trophies would probably be best-served directing their energies into other concerns. Like maybe how their kid is doing in school rather than on the sports field or court.
This. I (and my kids) have always just seen them as mementos - no different than handing each kid a photo collage of the season or a league t-shirt (both of which my kids have received) or something along those lines.
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Old 08-17-2015, 05:53 PM
 
Location: Cary NC
1,042 posts, read 1,363,118 times
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I think as many have said when they are young under 7 some type of participation "award" is fine after that age it loses it's meaning. My own children have just put their trophies on the ground after the whole team received one and probably wouldn't have cared if they forgot to bring it home.
One team they were on when they were older gave out one special trophy each year. There were other awards, not for everyone but just the one trophy. They talked about it all season, who would get it, there was much anticipation and then respect for the team member who received it. It wasn't always the player who scored the most or was the fastest either
character and teamwork were valuable too. This is how I remember it when I was a kid trophies were meaningful.
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Old 08-17-2015, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Fairfield of the Ohio
682 posts, read 475,878 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear View Post
Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn't. Doing all you can do is something that should be encouraged but it is important for kids to realize that sometimes other people are just better.
There's no importance in telling a 6 old that they aren't as good as their fellow 1st graders. There is nothing to be gained by beating their confidence down the first time they try something. All they know is that their little friend got a trophy and they didn't. To take the trophy away is even worse. SMH
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Old 08-17-2015, 07:26 PM
 
Location: Amongst the AZ Cactus
7,074 posts, read 4,584,462 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sspistol View Post
There's no importance in telling a 6 old that they aren't as good as their fellow 1st graders. There is nothing to be gained by beating their confidence down the first time they try something. All they know is that their little friend got a trophy and they didn't. To take the trophy away is even worse. SMH
The rumor is kids grow up to be adults. And those adults will end up in the competitive workplace. If these kids to adults grow up molded in the "everyone gets a trophy for showing up!" world, how will that kid who is now an adult learn to cope in the workplace when they learn they didn't get the raise and/or promotion because someone else did a better job then them? Or they are dating someone and the person they are dating dumps them and marry someone else because they are a better fit? Or if/when they get to college, they see others are better at math than they are, get better GPA's, etc.

C'mon people.....life has lots of ups and downs, disappointments, and we all have shortcomings along with strenghts and I think it's healthy to expose the kiddies to this reality to become mentally healthy/productive adults. Lots of our adult behaviors are rooted in our childhood. I cringe at the emotionally unprepared kids that are being raised by some parents these days. While I think some parents truly think they are doing good with the "everyone gets a trophy!" mentally, they're actually in the process of bringing up some emotionally unstable adult wrecks. That's the sad part.

Last edited by stevek64; 08-17-2015 at 08:12 PM..
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Old 08-17-2015, 08:40 PM
 
12,932 posts, read 19,831,249 times
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I find it interesting that the designation of "winner" is so stringent in sports. How about Scouts? You don't have to be the best to earn your patches, you just have to participate and fulfill the requirements, just like showing up for soccer practice and games fulfills the requirements of that sport.

I've never heard allegations that Scouting raises kids unprepared for life.
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Old 08-17-2015, 08:46 PM
 
203 posts, read 131,197 times
Reputation: 387


People are too sensitive nowadays...

Quote:
Originally Posted by sspistol View Post
There's no importance in telling a 6 old that they aren't as good as their fellow 1st graders. There is nothing to be gained by beating their confidence down the first time they try something. All they know is that their little friend got a trophy and they didn't. To take the trophy away is even worse. SMH
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Old 08-17-2015, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,874 posts, read 12,939,657 times
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This topic was popular this morning on the sports talk shows today. Most of the former pros who participated in the discussions agreed with Harrison. One of them suggested that if kids need a prize at the end of the season, or proof they participated in a team sport, a nice team photo would give them what they are seeking. They could display it to say, "I was there." Also, I would say they would be much more likely to keep a photo than a trophy long-term.

I come from a very sports-oriented family. My siblings all won lots of trophies, the real kind ... for winning championships or being named #1 or Best of Something. They were all left at home for my parents. Not one of them wanted the things by the time they were finished with college. When my mother moved out of the homestead to come and live with me, I asked my siblings to take their stuff. No one cooperated. A child of one of my brothers took his state championship awards. I hauled the rest of the hardware to the Goodwill. I have no idea what they do with old trophies. Kind of a waste of money if you ask me.
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Old 08-17-2015, 09:03 PM
 
Location: WI
2,820 posts, read 3,067,614 times
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My son and daughter both run high school cross country. Almost 100 kids go out for the team each year (it's no-cut), and aside from the eight runners who run in the varsity meet and the top JV runners whose scores count for the team, no one cares about winning. Everyone cheers for everyone, and all team members are recognized at the year-end banquet, regardless of the runner's position on the team.

I've never heard any coach say, "Look, back-of-the-pack kids, you're not special," or encourage others not to cheer for them because they aren't the "better" runners.

Yet, no one's wringing their hands over the idea that cross country isn't preparing these kids for the real world, or that the kids who are in it purely for the social and team aspect are going to be in for a rude awakening when they get a job.
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