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Old 08-18-2015, 09:14 AM
 
Location: IL
2,992 posts, read 4,258,885 times
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I hope no one gave their child a lollipop for acting good when they were little, because that child will be ruined in the competitive working world.
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Old 08-18-2015, 09:35 AM
 
Location: NY
8,997 posts, read 14,207,263 times
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As the parent of a six year old I do have some mixed feelings about this.

At that age, the biggest challenge is not teaching the child to earn a trophy for being victorious, but to encourage the child to be fully engaged, to fully participate, and to exert their best effort. The desire to "win" at that age is so strong that it seems my daughter and her peers have a quick tenancy to give up, not want to participate, or not try if they feel their best effort may not be "good enough."

So for me anyway, denying the participation trophy to teach a lesson that their best may not always be good enough to win is not really a problem. She is acutely aware of that already... to a fault.

If at that age there is a reward for participating and doing your best, then so be it. It may help encourage, foster better participation in the knowledge that her best may not always be enough to be at the top. Trophy or not, she certainly will be aware if she won or not.

Of course, my feelings are based on my knowledge of my own child, and where her strengths and weaknesses are. She is in no danger of of having a feeling entitled if she were to receive a participation award, but she is in danger of giving up on things when her best is not good enough. For me, getting her to give full effort is a bigger priority now, and when she gets that, then we can work on doing your best for reasons other than reward.
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Old 08-18-2015, 09:40 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,500,984 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Meh.. if they are just having fun, there is no need for a trophy at all then.
No competition, no award.
Well trophies are fun too...

Honestly, I don't feel strongly about trophies for participation but I also don't think my kids learn much from sports.
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Old 08-18-2015, 10:27 AM
 
7,239 posts, read 12,656,411 times
Reputation: 8513
Quote:
Originally Posted by DewDropInn View Post
We donated a box full to an inner-city sports group. Kids in places like South Central, L.A. aren't routinely given trophies. For participation or achievement. There's no money for "extras" and a re-purposed trophy might be the only trophy those kids receive.
That's a great idea. How does one go about finding where they can donate this way?
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Old 08-18-2015, 12:46 PM
 
714 posts, read 448,572 times
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It's always been hilarious to me that so many adults have a vendetta against kids receiving participation trophies. It reeks of insecurity and bitterness about childhood. There's no general problem being addressed with the criticism. It's just a way for people to put blame on something for something.

I've never heard someone speak against participation trophies that didn't just sound like some weak person crying. I've heard Mike Golic speak against these trophies, and even he comes off as an ignorant, bitter little child when he speaks on the issue.

When I got these participation trophies, I did not hoist them over my head and celebrate triumphantly. I did not go brag to my friends (maybe because they had the same trophy...), I did not jump around with my team as we all cried joyously together with the trophy. We did not hold the trophy with 2 hands and show it off like the Stanley Cup, lol.

They were a memento for the season. It was a way for me to remember what team I was on and in which year. They were far more durable and harder to misplace than a certificate.

It's not like I was going to fool anyone with a shelf full of trophies. I was a kid, everyone knew I hadn't accomplished anything. I knew they were participation trophies, it's not like I thought we somehow magically won the championship after losing in the quarters. I knew that everyone else got them.

Sports are much bigger now than when my parents were kids, and athletes from the current era are much better in general than those from previous eras, so I don't see the problem.

Is someone saying youth sports participation is down because kids are getting participation trophies? Like, kids are having fun playing a sport, but that cheap little trophy they got at the end ruins it for them? It's just laughable, really.

I hear many blaming the trophies for making today's youth "the way they are" and blah blah blah. It's obviously a way for parents as a group to dismiss their failures in parenting.

All these changes/behavioral problems/lack of respect are because kids are getting participation trophies, not because people suck at parenting. Just keep telling yourself that.

If you're really so against these trophies, go see a shrink. You have serious mental issues and insecurity.
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Old 08-18-2015, 01:16 PM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
17,580 posts, read 21,770,947 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by almost3am View Post
This is all probably true. I do see that sometimes the participation medals are more for parents than the kids, haha.

And memories of sports banquets...horrible. I hope those things die out soon so i don't need to attend them for my kids. I'd rather have a BBQ in someone's backyard.

I agree.

I think the trend started about thirty years ago, when for some reason, every child had to be involved with a competitive sport - and be good at it. All "normal" kids had to play some kind of sport. In my area, it was soccer and lacrosse.

I think that parents, in their zeal to not hurt their child's self esteem, demanded these minuscule trophies.

Why not instead face the fact that your child is not a supurb athlete? Or maybe, horrors - just not interested in sports!

There are plenty of activities for kids that can lead to life long interests. And actual awards. And personal rewards.

How many adults who are middle aged to you see getting together for a soccer game? You don't.

I was able to find interests and activities that actually suited my children. Now they are in their late teens and early 20s, and they have actual interests and achievements that have translated into passions.

What's the fun of attending a sporting event where your child never gets to play? And sports banquets?
I could not agree more.

However - if every kid on the team received a participation trophy, snatching it away strikes me as rather mean spirited.
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Old 08-18-2015, 01:22 PM
 
Location: IL
2,992 posts, read 4,258,885 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
How many adults who are middle aged to you see getting together for a soccer game? You don't.
I'm middle aged and played in a league until I hurt my toe a few months back. I will return again after healing. So, there are some. I also play pick up basketball (or did until the toe thing). I think soccer leagues for adults will grow in the future to a level of adult basketball leagues. It is a great way to stay in shape.
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Old 08-18-2015, 01:56 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
20,426 posts, read 35,741,970 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post

How many adults who are middle aged to you see getting together for a soccer game? You don't.
We do in my area.
We have the Old Man Soccer League and even the Old Timer's League for men's slow-pitch.
I know men and women who do triathlons.. and they are 40 and older.
Etc.

Many adults are active in sports in their 'old age'.
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Old 08-18-2015, 02:07 PM
bg7
 
7,698 posts, read 7,638,577 times
Reputation: 14991
Quote:
Originally Posted by sheena12 View Post
I agree.

I think the trend started about thirty years ago, when for some reason, every child had to be involved with a competitive sport - and be good at it. All "normal" kids had to play some kind of sport. In my area, it was soccer and lacrosse.

I think that parents, in their zeal to not hurt their child's self esteem, demanded these minuscule trophies.

Why not instead face the fact that your child is not a supurb athlete? Or maybe, horrors - just not interested in sports!

There are plenty of activities for kids that can lead to life long interests. And actual awards. And personal rewards.

How many adults who are middle aged to you see getting together for a soccer game? You don't.

I was able to find interests and activities that actually suited my children. Now they are in their late teens and early 20s, and they have actual interests and achievements that have translated into passions.

What's the fun of attending a sporting event where your child never gets to play? And sports banquets?
I could not agree more.

However - if every kid on the team received a participation trophy, snatching it away strikes me as rather mean spirited.
Actually all over the world you see this, just not much in the US apart from cities with higher latin American diversity.
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Old 08-18-2015, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Santa Monica, Ca
5,749 posts, read 3,190,998 times
Reputation: 13517
If your kid is " ruined" because he/she feels entitled for receiving a participation trophy, He/she has parents that need to work on their parenting skills. Scads of these non deserving loser kids go on to become productive adults.
My brother and I both participated in organized sports and received participation awards and believe it or not we both grew up, graduated college and are now gainfully employed, well adjusted people. Funny thing... We didn't get all Ga-ga
over the trophy, and we still knew that we didn't win.
If some of you parents want to teach your children a valuable lesson.... Try showing good sportsmanship while attending their games instead of arguing with the officials and other parents. I can't count the number of times when games were interrupted because some grandstand drama.
If handing out participation trophies should be ended it should be because for the majority .. The novelty wears off about 2 minutes after its handed to them.
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