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Old 02-02-2008, 12:45 PM
12,445 posts, read 13,091,627 times
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Originally Posted by FarNorthDallas View Post
My son doesn't see it as praise. He sees it as manipulation. My son knows exactly what they are trying to do and rejects it. He just doesn't buy in. He'd rather be dealt with in a direct and honest manner. So, like anything else, it depends on the kid.
It is then about the agenda behind the praise, which is all about the adult, not the kid.

I agree with you, kids can spot an agenda and know when they are being manipulated. That is one reason I believe in, like you said, dealing with children with honesty and directness, and kindness and respect. Including praise and appreciation that is genuine and not attached to an agenda.

Because genuine appreciation for a child and their contributions and their wonderfulness for who they are, is never amiss or out of place. Just like I can tell when someone's buttering me up to do them a favor...versus a friend who tells me she really enjoys my company.
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Old 02-04-2008, 08:36 AM
Location: Manchester, NH
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As someone said before, being specific in your praise is often the best bet. "Good Job" and such gets old and doesn't really mean anything. " I really liked how you put away all of your toys without me having to remind you" is specific and reinforces what you want and is much more effective. But, as with everything, there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. We don't need to say it all the time to them.....be selective, and also go the other way with it..."I didn't like how I had to remind you three times," etc.....
Good luck!
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Old 02-05-2008, 07:58 PM
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Originally Posted by Stone28 View Post
Today my three and a half year old son did something worthy of approval. So I said to him "thats great" enthusiastically. But I could tell he didn't want to be praised. He withdrew and quickly changed what he was doing.

I know as parents we have to walk a fine line. I don't want to praise him and have it turn out to be counter productive.

I'd really like some opinions. How do you praise your children? What works for you and what dosen't work for you?

What did he do that you thought worthy of approval?
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