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Old 01-28-2008, 08:02 PM
 
168 posts, read 439,299 times
Reputation: 101

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When you understand that your disappointment in another's behavior or choices always stems from their immaturity, or yours, rather than their unkindness, or yours, it becomes much harder not to keep skipping through life, giddy with joy, smelling the flowers.
Moreover, when you understand that with enough maturity on your end you can always find peace in all of your relationships, it becomes much harder not to run down the street kissing everyone you meet on both cheeks
I thought that this quote was appropriate.

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Old 01-28-2008, 09:45 PM
 
180 posts, read 888,234 times
Reputation: 162
wow. I nearly skipped this thread because what parent hasn't had their kid be a brat at some point in a store? And... what shopper hasn't been exposed to a brat screaming in a store?

And then I read INTHESEIRRAS post. I have never considered that an autistic or other special needs child could be the "brat" in the cart on the next aisle. I should know better too.. I have an autistic great nephew.. but he's very, very quiet.

I would like to thank you and the others that affirmed your post for reminding me that you are in a difficult position sometimes as a mom that needs to get to the store just like I do. I appreciate the information a great deal. I know my tolerance levels just went up!
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Old 01-28-2008, 09:48 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,001,505 times
Reputation: 8014
Quote:
believe you and inthesierras are taking this the wrong way as it was meant to address inattentive, noncaring parents, which certainly would not be the case with what the two of you describe. And, certainly, no one has a right to interfere with a parent that takes charge of their own child, however "well-meaning" these other people think they might be.
However, who put us or anybody else on a high and mighty chair to decide if that specific parent was inattentive and noncaring? We don't know what kind day that person had, what kind of day that child had and in what kind of physical health that child is. The parent cops the best way they can and if it was MY CHILD this bus driver was addressing, she would get an earfull from me. NOBODY TALKS TO MY CHILD THAT WAY, especially some stranger. My son loves riding the buses and he gets so excited that he starts clapping and laughing and waving to everyone very cheerfully and perhaps a little too enthusiastic. But you know what? I will not stop him from his excitement and if you don't want to listen to it, tough luck, change the buses or don't use public transportation. That's why it's called PUBLIC transportation.

And by telling the bus driver what I think of his/her comment, I would show my son and teach a lesson that I will be there to stick up for him regardless if he is right or wrong. I love him unconditionally and some stranger will just have TO STAY OUT. If he misbehaves, I will deal with him myself, thank you very much.
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Old 01-28-2008, 10:52 PM
 
8,862 posts, read 14,403,254 times
Reputation: 2280
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
However, who put us or anybody else on a high and mighty chair to decide if that specific parent was inattentive and noncaring? We don't know what kind day that person had, what kind of day that child had and in what kind of physical health that child is. The parent cops the best way they can and if it was MY CHILD this bus driver was addressing, she would get an earfull from me. NOBODY TALKS TO MY CHILD THAT WAY, especially some stranger. My son loves riding the buses and he gets so excited that he starts clapping and laughing and waving to everyone very cheerfully and perhaps a little too enthusiastic. But you know what? I will not stop him from his excitement and if you don't want to listen to it, tough luck, change the buses or don't use public transportation. That's why it's called PUBLIC transportation.

And by telling the bus driver what I think of his/her comment, I would show my son and teach a lesson that I will be there to stick up for him regardless if he is right or wrong. I love him unconditionally and some stranger will just have TO STAY OUT. If he misbehaves, I will deal with him myself, thank you very much.
I think the OP said this was a church bus--if that makes any difference?

And, as always, there is much that we do not know about this incident.

After a recent experience with a bus driver/public I would choose my words very carefully. Must be a stressful job. I wanted to ask about the transfer card and she quickly told me that she didn't have to put up with such harassment.

Fortunately a transit security operator was on board and was able to answer my question.

Life seems to be getting very difficult for everyone.

Most people have good intentions but it is generally best to mind one's own business, jmo.
FWIW--
A few months ago I was in a store and young children were running all around and having worked in retail I knew that one of them might get hurt with all the shopping carts and racks. I said something and the store manager told me that if I didn't like it I would have to leave the store. So I did.

bhs
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Old 01-28-2008, 11:57 PM
 
Location: Waipahu, HI
50 posts, read 166,924 times
Reputation: 71
Default It wasn't a church bus

It wasn't a church bus. It was a city bus. From time to time, it's not only kids that misbehave, adults misbehave too. A couple of years ago, someone was kicked off the bus for drinking alcohol. Last year, a few people were kicked off the bus for cussing. The family whose child was screaming was not kicked off the bus. The mother apologized for the screaming and they got to stay on board. I heard no more screaming.
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Old 01-29-2008, 08:26 AM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,455,624 times
Reputation: 807
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
However, who put us or anybody else on a high and mighty chair to decide if that specific parent was inattentive and noncaring? We don't know what kind day that person had, what kind of day that child had and in what kind of physical health that child is. The parent cops the best way they can and if it was MY CHILD this bus driver was addressing, she would get an earfull from me. NOBODY TALKS TO MY CHILD THAT WAY, especially some stranger. My son loves riding the buses and he gets so excited that he starts clapping and laughing and waving to everyone very cheerfully and perhaps a little too enthusiastic. But you know what? I will not stop him from his excitement and if you don't want to listen to it, tough luck, change the buses or don't use public transportation. That's why it's called PUBLIC transportation.

And by telling the bus driver what I think of his/her comment, I would show my son and teach a lesson that I will be there to stick up for him regardless if he is right or wrong. I love him unconditionally and some stranger will just have TO STAY OUT. If he misbehaves, I will deal with him myself, thank you very much.

The end of this post really bothers me. I'm all for sticking up for my son when he is right or has been done wrong, but if he is in the wrong, he needs to know. I will not allow bad behavior to occur just b/c it's him. I love my son unconditionally but if handled the right way, I don't have a problem with other people calling him out on his behavior. This type of attitude is why we have so many bratty, disrespectful children and teens running around now. Dr. Spock spouting all his crap years ago about how discipline hurts their self esteem. That's a crock! If parents don't teach children right from wrong, who will? I got my butt spanked and mouth popped on many occasions and I'm not a mass murderer and don't have issues. I'm a happily married mother who realizes it takes a village to raise a child. The OP didn't specify but it doesn't sound like the mother was trying to calm the child at all. If that is the case, I don't blame that bus driver one way or another. Too many times parents hide behind the "They are my children, I'll do what I want" line and it gets old. It may be public but you don't have to let your child act like a banshee. It's called being respectful.
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Old 01-29-2008, 08:37 AM
 
Location: alt reality
1,084 posts, read 1,951,750 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
And by telling the bus driver what I think of his/her comment, I would show my son and teach a lesson that I will be there to stick up for him regardless if he is right or wrong.
Good luck to you
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Old 01-29-2008, 09:15 AM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,706,367 times
Reputation: 1368
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Juicebox View Post
well im going to throw my 2cents in. I dont think that ANYBODY has a right to say anything about any child that is not yours. Only excetion is if there is suspect of child abuse. Not your child and as said before you have no idea what is going on in someone elses life.
I have 3 children girl 7, boy4, and girl 2. My oldest is the biggest drama queen i have ever seen. I had a Wal-mart incedent where she was going crazy in the store so i told here several times to behave and i was "taking care of the situation" it just was not happening. Sooooo we made a trip to the bathroom well she new what was coming i give swats on the butt in 3 swat increments. and an occational pop on the mouth. well she was screaming the whole way in there and i was almost dragging her. so i got in there took here into the big stall and i sat and told her to calm down and we can talk first. she did not so i gave her the 3 swats and sat for a min then she began to calm down for a couple of min. and i started out the door well her mouth got in the way and i gave her a pop on the mouth. Well by this time she was just crazy next thing i hear is a pounding on the door of the restroom. 3 women yell what is going on. i replied im disciplining my child why. Well she is yelling a lot and you have been in there for awhile. total of 4min. i timed it . they said well we called the manager well then it started i remained VERY calm. needles to say the lady manager was on my side and was fine with the whole thing.
My long point is that they had no idea how my child was or is and they had NO right to butt in with there cackling mouths. I should have went to a lawyer but figured it was not worth it. 2 of the 3 women were emploees of the walmart.
"A pop on the mouth"??!!

You lost sympathy from me there. One should NEVER hit their children in the face or head. Swats on the butt are one thing, any blows to the face are a completely different thing. I would have said something too.

And if your child is still having tantrums at age seven...that's a discipline problem unless she's not a normal child. Temper tantrums shouldn't still be part of a child's reaction at that age. From about one through four is where you should normally see them.
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Old 01-29-2008, 09:39 AM
 
218 posts, read 680,838 times
Reputation: 213
Please don't take your upset kiddies out of public, restaurants, or transit anymore?
Please sit next to the moron on the cell phone or next to me. Thank you in advance.
I'd much rather hear the kids being kids and going through the phase. At least we know, with them, it's just a phase at certain age and there's hope ...
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Old 01-29-2008, 11:16 AM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,293,118 times
Reputation: 5787
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
However, who put us or anybody else on a high and mighty chair to decide if that specific parent was inattentive and noncaring? We don't know what kind day that person had, what kind of day that child had and in what kind of physical health that child is. The parent cops the best way they can and if it was MY CHILD this bus driver was addressing, she would get an earfull from me. NOBODY TALKS TO MY CHILD THAT WAY, especially some stranger. My son loves riding the buses and he gets so excited that he starts clapping and laughing and waving to everyone very cheerfully and perhaps a little too enthusiastic. But you know what? I will not stop him from his excitement and if you don't want to listen to it, tough luck, change the buses or don't use public transportation. That's why it's called PUBLIC transportation.

And by telling the bus driver what I think of his/her comment, I would show my son and teach a lesson that I will be there to stick up for him regardless if he is right or wrong. I love him unconditionally and some stranger will just have TO STAY OUT. If he misbehaves, I will deal with him myself, thank you very much.

Sorry, but as the other posters have said, sticking up for your kids is fine and dandy but actually applauding their bad behavior and defending it is another. My kids know that if they do something wrong they will be in trouble and I don't care where it is. If they get in trouble at school then I need to stick up for the teacher (if after researching I find out the teacher was in the wrong I will deal w/ it WITH THE ADULTS AND NOT IN FRONT OF MY CHILD). A child on a bus be it a public transit or private bus getting excited is one thing. A child SCREAMING at the top of their lungs is different and it puts EVERYONES lives in danger and not just the people on the bus. The bus driver has a job to do and is EXPECTED to do it safely. If your child was the screaming child and the bus driver said something to you and you reacted in the way you say........... I'm all for the bus driver and on their side 100%. NO ONE SHOULD have to hear a child scream for no reason at the top of their lungs IF IT EFFECTS THE ABILITY FOR THEM TO DO THEIR JOB! I'd also be willing to bet you would be the first person to sue if your screaming child actually caused the bus driver to not be able to concentrate on their driving and other vehicles around and caused an accident.

No wonder our teachers are fed up. It is parents that APPLAUD their childs bad behavior. That is what is so wrong with our society.
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