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Old 01-30-2008, 03:04 PM
 
168 posts, read 438,772 times
Reputation: 101

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I have no idea why some are reacting to my posts with such anger. Maybe they need to take a look at themselves.
I agreed that it is appropriate to have an adult address a child, so long is in a civil fashion. Would any adult stand for another adult yelling at them and demeaning them. If any think that this is acceptable, then I will show you someone with deeper issues.
Who ever said that we don't teach our kids life lessons or learn to deal with disappointment? Nothing could be further from the truth. My kids deal with situations with other kids on their own. Hopefully, by the values that we try to instill in them. When an adult gets involved, inappropriately, then so do I.
Maybe its the adults who have a self esteem issue and like to take it out on children. Oh well, no wonder our country is a mess.
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Old 01-30-2008, 03:05 PM
 
168 posts, read 438,772 times
Reputation: 101
Sorry, but it is perfectly relevant.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 5kingsinvegas View Post
That is an entirely different situation and not at all an intelligent addition to this topic.
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Old 01-30-2008, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Arizona
667 posts, read 2,097,804 times
Reputation: 533
Quote:
Originally Posted by tbone65 View Post
...........Maybe its the adults who have a self esteem issue and like to take it out on children.......
Now this is true, too.
But most of the people posting here are not talking about 'taking it out on children.'
I most certainly do not have a self esteem issue & I will gladly walk up to a child, parent or both & correct them in a situation. Given the situation is appropriate for me to do so & it would not be considered 'taking it out' on anyone.
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Old 01-30-2008, 04:00 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,242,086 times
Reputation: 5787
Quote:
Originally Posted by tbone65 View Post
I have no idea why some are reacting to my posts with such anger. Maybe they need to take a look at themselves.
I agreed that it is appropriate to have an adult address a child, so long is in a civil fashion. Would any adult stand for another adult yelling at them and demeaning them. If any think that this is acceptable, then I will show you someone with deeper issues.
Who ever said that we don't teach our kids life lessons or learn to deal with disappointment? Nothing could be further from the truth. My kids deal with situations with other kids on their own. Hopefully, by the values that we try to instill in them. When an adult gets involved, inappropriately, then so do I.
Maybe its the adults who have a self esteem issue and like to take it out on children. Oh well, no wonder our country is a mess.
As collected eve also stated, I'm not advocating an adult start screaming or yelling at a kid/child that is misbehaving in public that is not their own (I won't even like that even if it IS their own child - unless they are yelling for the kid for some strange reason because they are about to get hurt or something). I would not want someone to do that to my children. Being firm in confronting the bad behavior is one thing and I have no problem with.
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Old 01-30-2008, 04:06 PM
 
168 posts, read 438,772 times
Reputation: 101
Nor do I. My point is simply that children need to be treated in a civil manner. Yelling, demeaning, humiliating etc.. rarely work long term.
Again, as I stated earlier, I have no problem with another adult addressing a child, so long as its in a civil respectful manner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by momof2dfw View Post
As collected eve also stated, I'm not advocating an adult start screaming or yelling at a kid/child that is misbehaving in public that is not their own (I won't even like that even if it IS their own child - unless they are yelling for the kid for some strange reason because they are about to get hurt or something). I would not want someone to do that to my children. Being firm in confronting the bad behavior is one thing and I have no problem with.
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Old 01-30-2008, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Sunshine N'Blue Skies
13,320 posts, read 19,659,786 times
Reputation: 11644
I just was at a doctors office where the entire large fish tank had all blue paper on it.
The next time it was off, but the water was all discolored. During my doctors visit my husband found out that some children had climbed under inside the bottom cabniet.
They proceeded to pull, and mess with the chemicals, and lines underneath.
The entire system was messed up......the fish had to go out of it......the works had to be redone.
Now, there is a parent who let their kid go amock.......
That was wrong. Someone needed to stop the child quickly........for their safety also.
In that case......I might have spoken up. Because in that case.....it is a total disregard to the business office.
I can withstand loud, crying, tantrums.......thats normal, for many children.
It is mostly a stage in life......and those Moms I feel for wholeheartedly.
But....lack of respect for others property.....someone needed to speak up, and quickly.
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Old 01-31-2008, 05:41 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 932,204 times
Reputation: 326
My 20 month old can be a pure devil in walmart...the only reason I take him is because he HAS to learn appropriate behavior in public (its still a work in progress).

He usually does fine for the first 20 minutes or so. We go EARLY in the morning because thats his 'best' time of day.

It's usually inevitable though, that he'll start to pitch a fit halfway through my shopping. And its not that he WANTS something, its that he wants OUT of the cart!

So....We go along, him crying and me talking softly to him explaining that this is just the way it has to be. My husband usually goes with me and we are usually able to let him out so he can walk. But since hubby does half the shopping on the other side of the store first, and takes that to the car, I'm on my own for awhile...

I have to say though, that maybe I handle it better than I think, or maybe hes not as bad as I think he is...because no one has ever said anything, nor have I ever noticed 'killer' looks...mostly sympathetic smiles and a 'yeah...I've been there' comment...

I'll be so glad when he outgrows this particular stage....
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Lehigh Valley
1,030 posts, read 3,798,041 times
Reputation: 426
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommiewrites View Post
My 20 month old can be a pure devil in walmart...the only reason I take him is because he HAS to learn appropriate behavior in public (its still a work in progress).
OMG, I totally agree!

When I went to pick my 5 year old up at preschool today, my two year old was freaking out because he wanted me to carry. He screamed bloody murder for the whole 10 minutes it took to pick his brother up - it wasn't pretty!

Well, I am trying to work on this behavior with him, because it's crazy to be expected to carry around a 30lb child all day.

He is getting much better, but I know it'll take another few fits before he learns that freaking out does not get him carried.
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Old 01-31-2008, 11:55 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,902 posts, read 20,895,074 times
Reputation: 14817
This thread caught my eye a while back and just the title of it reminded me so much of when my two children were young. They were far from "bad" kids, just pretty typical. There were just some days I was so worn out and tired of saying "no" every moment that once in awhile if and when another person, nicely I will add, took the time to correct my child or even just ask them what the problem was? My children would get so embarassed they would straighten right up. I was so relieved at receiving a little help from a caring person! I may be way off topic here but I kept mulling this through my head and remembering those tiring days!!
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Old 01-31-2008, 02:03 PM
 
Location: The Big D
14,874 posts, read 36,242,086 times
Reputation: 5787
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat View Post
This thread caught my eye a while back and just the title of it reminded me so much of when my two children were young. They were far from "bad" kids, just pretty typical. There were just some days I was so worn out and tired of saying "no" every moment that once in awhile if and when another person, nicely I will add, took the time to correct my child or even just ask them what the problem was? My children would get so embarassed they would straighten right up. I was so relieved at receiving a little help from a caring person! I may be way off topic here but I kept mulling this through my head and remembering those tiring days!!
It takes ALL of US to make sure our kids are safe. As you said there are just some days that as a mom, wife, caregiver, etc that we just don't have the energy. Its that all knowing smile from the other mom in the store that knows EXACTLY how you feel to make you feel your not alone. It is the other mom or dad that looks at your child when they are being a toot and says something that gets their attention (mom may have said the same thing a million times but it coming from a stranger......... they do pay attention). Kind of like when we tell our kids that someday x will happen and they never believe you as you are always telling them stuff that never happens. But that one day when it does they realize mom actually DOES KNOW what she is talking about.

It is typically going to be these "nosy" and caring moms and dads that will be the first to the rescue if you ever need help, have an emergency or someone really does try to do something wrong to your child. I've told my husband a million times that if I EVER see someone abduct a child he will be buying me a new car as I don't care if I total mine and get a couple of broken bones I will NOT be the one standing around watching. I'll be the one going after the sob and making sure that baby is safe and back w/ their mom & dad.
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