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Humans are under no obligation to exterminate themselves or cease reproduction to preserve a biosphere which will be destroyed by the sun in a few billion years' time, and probably radically altered by an asteroid impact long before that.
I produce more than I consume, because I make society function more efficiently. My work improves the efficiency of the system so that it allows at many more people to live on the same amount of resources as I consume over the course of my life. I solve problems and invent things that make the lives of other people better. I intend to teach my children to do the same.
Eventually, the aggregate contributions of all our progeny will allow us to either save the planet or migrate to other planets and vastly expand our resource base.
The universe will eventually die a heat death, but we will likely find a way to either reverse the process, or step out of time completely, in the hundreds of billions of years we have before the universe dies or we consume all available resources. (Which are actually the same thing, because if people become numerous enough, our energy consumption will speed the entropic decay of the universe).
However, because we move/learn/build/adapt MUCH faster than evolution or cosmic physics, we will almost certainly find a solution to the fundamental physical limitations of our species lifespan--if we don't kill ourselves first.
My genetics will, hopefully, survive until bodies and genetic makeup are rendered meaningless by scientific advancement. That's as close to immortality as we're going to get, given the limits of current medical technology. I also think that living life without having children would be meaningless and sad. I would feel like I opted out of the most natural thing for a living organism to do--reproduce. Those are my selfish reasons for having children.
The unselfish reason, is--as stated above--that by having children we working to save the human race, possibly the planet, and possibly even the universe.
Your logic is flawed. It is along the lines of saying that everyone is going to die someday so it is fine to kill someone before their time if you enjoy it. Unless you believe what I just wrote, you are being inconsistent.
Well, one could argue that you're not really benefitting yourself. Sure, you love your kids and they're great and all, but like I said, they are expensive. From the very beginning to college (if you pay or help them out), it is expensive to raise a kid. Diapers, clothes, school supplies, doctors, medicines, sports, etc etc all adds up. Not to mention larger cars and a bigger house, most likely. Vacations, fun trips with the kids. Then there's the time, activities, and even job you are giving up fully or in some way to accommodate the new people in your life you are responsible for. Your marriage and other relationships could suffer. You lose sleep, lose a sense of privacy, have much less alone time.
And when your kid grows up, you maintain the relationship if all goes well. You contribute more money for or towards them, likely (daughter's getting married and weddings aren't free, son needs to borrow some money to purchase his first house with his wife, etc), you babysit your grandkids and buy them presents and host the family for holidays. If your kids move away from you, you have to go visit them, don't you? More money for travel costs. Sure, you have people who can potentially take care of you when you're old and sick, but after everything else you had to deal with when they're younger and even older. It's a lifelong responsibility and it's not an easy one. It's not beneficial to your wallet or physical or mental health or relationships (not necessarily at least).
Having kids is a huge deal. It shouldn't be taken lightly. A couple who wants a child needs to discuss it and be ready for it. A lot of problems happen when you don't and you're not ready. I have a couple of young idiots in my family right now who had kids young and broke and are suffering more than new parents already do. THAT is selfish. Having kids when you're not ready, not stable, and poor is extremely selfish, and I'm mad at said family member for it because her baby does not deserve to suffer in any way.
This is a great post. You've summed up -- quite nicely I might add -- many of the reasons people are reluctant to have kids.
So are you telling me that the world has unlimited resources, or does your child eat, drink and **** air? Does your child use no electricity, gas and no manufactured products? If any of that isn't the case, you are forcing the world to support your child.
Many people say that those who opt to go the child-free route are displaying selfishness of the worst kind. Actually, I'd probably reserve that designation for those individuals who say that their main reason for having kids is to have someone there to take care of them when they get old.
There are a host of noble reasons for having children, among them:
Having a purpose in life beyond oneeself
Loving one's own child selflessly
Creating something that's a piece of you and of your partner
Having an excuse to play with Barbie dolls and/or toy cars again
Having someone to pass on ideas, lessons, and possessions to
And the list goes on...
(emphasis: mine)
The person is NOT saying that everyone having kids does it so that they have a caretaker in their old age, they say that some people say that...and some have actually said that. Regardless, as you can see, the person stated a list of "noble" reasons that people have kids...although I'm trying to figure out what is so noble about having an excuse to play with dolls and cars again.
The person is NOT saying that everyone having kids does it so that they have a caretaker in their old age, they say that some people say that...and some have actually said that. Regardless, as you can see, the person stated a list of "noble" reasons that people have kids...although I'm trying to figure out what is so noble about having an excuse to play with dolls and cars again.
Agree, although that link also goes to a blog, which has no more authority than any post here on CD.
I think parents give way too much of themselves, money and boat loads of stress for it to be for selfish reasons (generally) I wanted kids so I could fill their lives with love, like I wish I'd had. I wanted their childhood to be fun and secure. My son says I've done the same for his girls. I'm the fun granny.
Yes it'd be selfless to adopt, we tried. They make it so hard and expensive, we never did. My son adopted my oldest grand daughter, and you'd never know she wasn't blood. I forget she isnt until I say something about our bloodline, and she reminds me. I love her more than life itself.
And if I have a choice, I'll die before needing my kids to help me. Not for one second did I want kids so they could help me. My EMT son helped with my mom when she was on hospice and I was her caretaker. He eventually lost his job as it was a long ordeal. Does that mean I had him so he could take care of her?
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