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Old 10-01-2015, 11:03 AM
 
28,115 posts, read 63,672,505 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frustrated68 View Post
If you have a dog, you are probably used to some of those restrictions. But you can forget about travel completely for about 8 years.

And pray you have a local support system (parents or responsible siblings) to watch the kid so you can get some alone time every once in a while...

It never ends until they are gone, you literally have to plan everything around them until they are 16, 17 or so.
I thought this too... my brother and his wife were very active and having their first child didn't slow them down one bit...

By the time the child was 2 she had traveled cross county by car... drove because they were stuck due to 911, she had been to Europe, Tahoe and Cambria...

It wasn't until their second child came along that travel was curtailed... yet with a 2, 4 and 6 year olds they still took them all to Europe...

Nice thing is there seemed at least one was always free....

The oldest is my Goddaughter and we had lots of quality time before she started school... she is in High School now and they are all so busy... not much time anymore... enjoy the preschool years... it is over before you know it...
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Old 10-01-2015, 11:52 AM
 
86 posts, read 76,373 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ultrarunner View Post
I thought this too... my brother and his wife were very active and having their first child didn't slow them down one bit...

By the time the child was 2 she had traveled cross county by car... drove because they were stuck due to 911, she had been to Europe, Tahoe and Cambria...
I don't know how, they must be exceptionally brave and patient. AND give zero care about the consideration of others around them
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Old 10-01-2015, 11:58 AM
 
154 posts, read 259,950 times
Reputation: 218
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frustrated68 View Post
If you have a dog, you are probably used to some of those restrictions. But you can forget about travel completely for about 8 years.

And pray you have a local support system (parents or responsible siblings) to watch the kid so you can get some alone time every once in a while...

It never ends until they are gone, you literally have to plan everything around them until they are 16, 17 or so.

This is a bit much.

You don't have to give up on travel completely, especially not for 8 years!

While it is nice to have support from family and even friends I know plenty of people that take care of kids on their own and manage to have a life.

You really make it sound... harsh.
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Old 10-01-2015, 11:58 AM
 
3,167 posts, read 4,002,568 times
Reputation: 8796
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smooth23 View Post
So my wife and I have decided to stop preventing pregnancy. We are ready and we both want a child, but I can't help but feel scared. So many things cross my mind, and I just want to know how normal I am.

First I'll start by saying, I'm 30, she's 26, both very financially stable, just bought a house, together for 6 years married for one. I still want to travel some, but I know a child will hinder that for at least several years. I'm probably overly worried about a child being ugly(yes I know this sounds horrible), or having some sort of disabilities. I'm worried about how our dog will feel(though I know he is good around babies in general, but he gets jealous). I guess there's dozens of other things I think about that aren't so specific and can't be put into words.

I think I just need some reassurance here :/
I think it's normal to be scared, but I also think maybe you would like a little more time. You are both so young - there is really no need to rush this.
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:01 PM
 
3,167 posts, read 4,002,568 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mightymom View Post
This is a bit much.

You don't have to give up on travel completely, especially not for 8 years!

While it is nice to have support from family and even friends I know plenty of people that take care of kids on their own and manage to have a life.

You really make it sound... harsh.
I disagree with that - we have not been able to travel for 6 years now, and it probably won't improve in the near future. Aside from the fact that except for kid places like Disney, or maybe the beach, kids just don't really travel all that well. Or make it fun for adults. Also, the financial strain of even one kid can be pretty significant, especially if you want to save for college.

Truthfully, your life is pretty much altered after you have a child. I think it's best to feel like you did everything you needed to first.
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:06 PM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,709,696 times
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Your worries are natural and everything will be fine.

As far as having an ugly baby, you'll never know if you have one or not. Your baby will be the most beautiful child you've ever seen, so don't worry about that.
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:08 PM
 
154 posts, read 259,950 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mnseca View Post
I disagree with that - we have not been able to travel for 6 years now, and it probably won't improve in the near future. Aside from the fact that except for kid places like Disney, or maybe the beach, kids just don't really travel all that well. Or make it fun for adults. Also, the financial strain of even one kid can be pretty significant, especially if you want to save for college.

Truthfully, your life is pretty much altered after you have a child. I think it's best to feel like you did everything you needed to first.
I have 4 kids and aside from the financial strain I have been able to travel with my children. I took them to Disney when the youngest (TWINS!) were only 4 years old. I even traveled internationally with all 4 of them.

Different from your usual? Yes
Impossible? No
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:11 PM
 
761 posts, read 832,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mo8414 View Post
just remember if its ugly the fire station will take it no questions asked
Ugly baby?
When I came out the doctor slapped my father.
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:13 PM
 
123 posts, read 144,350 times
Reputation: 251
All of your worries are normal. I won't lie, being a dad sucks sometimes, you will miss the time it was just you and your wife and you could go to the movies, have dinner, take a road trip, whatever, without much planning or thinking about anybody else. And the lack of sleep the first few weeks/months/years (depending on how lucky you are with your baby's sleep) sucks. I still daydream sometimes about my pre- fatherhood days.

But also being a dad is awesome. Not to get all Hallmark moment, but having your baby smile at you, call you daddy, and later having your kid play/cuddle/fart (yes)/laugh etc.. together will make your life seem so much fuller.

Good luck! and have fun trying.
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Old 10-01-2015, 12:17 PM
 
Location: IL
2,987 posts, read 5,250,398 times
Reputation: 3111
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smooth23 View Post
So my wife and I have decided to stop preventing pregnancy. We are ready and we both want a child, but I can't help but feel scared. So many things cross my mind, and I just want to know how normal I am.

First I'll start by saying, I'm 30, she's 26, both very financially stable, just bought a house, together for 6 years married for one. I still want to travel some, but I know a child will hinder that for at least several years. I'm probably overly worried about a child being ugly(yes I know this sounds horrible), or having some sort of disabilities. I'm worried about how our dog will feel(though I know he is good around babies in general, but he gets jealous). I guess there's dozens of other things I think about that aren't so specific and can't be put into words.

I think I just need some reassurance here :/
Totally normal and yes, your life will change dramatically. If you are flexible and plan ahead (in everything), things can still be really good.

When my wife was pregnant with our first, I didn't feel super stressed, but I thought I was having heart problems. I went to the Doc and told her my issues and she asked if I had any additional stress. I said work was normal, I loved my wife, so no...oh yeah, my wife is pregnant, but I am excited not worried. The doc laughed and said that was the problem, the stress on husband's before childbirth is pretty high, but not really talked about. Anyway, that was my issue in the end.

One of my sons looked like an ancient elf when he was born, but now is beautiful. I also worried about birth defects.

Travel will change a lot, but we still travel, now 10 years in to parenthood. We need to tailor our travel around the kids and not be in a hurry to get anywhere. We have taken car trips, plane trips (starting at age 1 for all of them), train trips...domestic and international...it's just very different and requires more work from me. I used to be so tired after flights because I was so focused on amusing the kids (when they were babies) so they were well behaved.

Anyway, all normal.
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