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So my wife and I have decided to stop preventing pregnancy. We are ready and we both want a child, but I can't help but feel scared. So many things cross my mind, and I just want to know how normal I am.
First I'll start by saying, I'm 30, she's 26, both very financially stable, just bought a house, together for 6 years married for one. I still want to travel some, but I know a child will hinder that for at least several years. I'm probably overly worried about a child being ugly(yes I know this sounds horrible), or having some sort of disabilities. I'm worried about how our dog will feel(though I know he is good around babies in general, but he gets jealous). I guess there's dozens of other things I think about that aren't so specific and can't be put into words.
I think I just need some reassurance here :/
Yep, sounds perfectly normal!
Your entire life/lives are gonna change- and a tiny person will be depending on you for everything...
I don't know how, they must be exceptionally brave and patient. AND give zero care about the consideration of others around them
Very sweet child and the best adjusted infant I have have been around... and I have helped out since she was 7 days old... their best man was in a tragic accident and his father died... they both wanted to attend so I said go... we will be just fine and we were...
Even now the 3 sisters are extremely close... they refused separate bedrooms because they wanted to stay together... the younger 2 still share.
Parents are very active and met at competitions... the 14 year old has been to Europe and Hawaii 8 times and even when they were quite young... they were seasoned travelers... actually kind of cute... seeing the 3 of them leaving the plane each with their rolling carry on in tow... the grandparents on the other side travel extensively... so I guess if you are raised around it... it's not such a big deal.
I know others that can't leave the kids in the same room let alone sit next to each other...
In all fairness... their Mom had a fantastic job with lots of travel that all came to an end with 9/11... after, she put all her energy into her daughters... dedicates one day a week as room mother at each of 3 schools, plus they both coach kids soccer and swimming plus the older one is in volley ball...
The only comments I hear are how well behaved they are and so good together...
Part of the shift could have been the Mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and did not meet any of the at risk markers... she was super athletic... fit, tall, thin, young...
After surgery, chemo and radiation... she has been cancer free... going through this caused a major shift in thinking... not to put off things, do more as a family and be together more.
When Mom was going through this the girls were 2, 4 and 6... those girls went out of their way to be helpful and sometimes all 3 just crawled into bed with her... not saying a work and wishing their mom would not be sick anymore...
Last edited by Ultrarunner; 10-01-2015 at 11:16 PM..
Reason: typo
If you have a dog, you are probably used to some of those restrictions. But you can forget about travel completely for about 8 years.
Nonsense. We routinely traveled with and without our younger-than-8 children. You just have to be smart about it, and make sure you bring with everything needed to keep the child entertained, fed, and otherwise comfortable. Yes it has its challenges, but it isn't impossible.
So my wife and I have decided to stop preventing pregnancy. We are ready and we both want a child, but I can't help but feel scared. So many things cross my mind, and I just want to know how normal I am.
First I'll start by saying, I'm 30, she's 26, both very financially stable, just bought a house, together for 6 years married for one. I still want to travel some, but I know a child will hinder that for at least several years. I'm probably overly worried about a child being ugly(yes I know this sounds horrible), or having some sort of disabilities. I'm worried about how our dog will feel(though I know he is good around babies in general, but he gets jealous). I guess there's dozens of other things I think about that aren't so specific and can't be put into words.
I think I just need some reassurance here :/
Just wait until you put the infant in the car for the first drive home. I was terrified!
I don't know how, they must be exceptionally brave and patient. AND give zero care about the consideration of others around them
This is one of the most judgmental inaccurate things I have ever seen. I had 4 daughters, we traveled often and let me just say, they were better behaved than many adults, who were cranky, demanding, whiny, b*tchy brats in comparison at the least little thing, like being delayed a half hour or so because of weather. Or the snacks being too pricey or what have you.
I got compliments all of the time on how good they were for what to me was normal behavior, especially from the employees who rolled their eyes at the adults who should have known better than to act like that but didn't. :P
My grandsons do not like to travel, since their parents know this, they go out of their way to make sure they have things they enjoy to make it pleasant for everyone.
Back on track - OP, travel does not have to go by the wayside, just make sure they know what to expect and have "company manners" before subjecting them on the public.
A lot has to do with how things are approached and attitude.
I always try to make it something that is special and put it on their calendar so we can count the days... talk about the fun things we are doing to do and see...
Europe has always been about castles and princesses for the little ones and not having to be in bed by 7...
Another thing is everyone has a job... doesn't matter if you are 2 or 16...
Part of the problem could very well be family time is limited... almost like the kids are an afterthought or something that has to be dealt with.
We attended four Austrian weddings in 4 weeks when my niece was 14 months old... she had a great time and then she would crash as in fall asleep... always made sure she had place to snooze and her favorite stuffed toy and a bottle... good to go.
This is one of the most judgmental inaccurate things I have ever seen. I had 4 daughters, we traveled often and let me just say, they were better behaved than many adults, who were cranky, demanding, whiny, b*tchy brats in comparison at the least little thing, like being delayed a half hour or so because of weather. Or the snacks being too pricey or what have you.
I got compliments all of the time on how good they were for what to me was normal behavior, especially from the employees who rolled their eyes at the adults who should have known better than to act like that but didn't. :P
Back on track - OP, travel does not have to go by the wayside, just make sure they know what to expect and have "company manners" before subjecting them on the public.
1000x YES!!
Travel is one of our family priorities, and so at young ages we taught our children HOW to travel. They are AMAZING travelers--probably better than most adults. They can navigate airports, read subway maps, ask for help, ask polite questions about the world, pride themselves on trying new foods...
Geez, recently we were in Florida and seeing the palm trees and sky and particular topography of where we were, our THREE YEAR OLD piped up, "This place looks like San Diego!" (Where we had visited this past Spring.) My kids reminisce about the top of Pikes Peak and walking through Times Square on the way to a Broadway show. They compare and contrast the ease of the New York subway with the Chicago El. They talk about the military checkpoints in certain Central American countries. They weigh the pros and cons of thier favorites cities: Denver, San Diego, Atlanta and Chicago.
None are even teenagers yet.
OP, kids are awesome, but your feelings are completely normal. Keep this in mind: they will be YOUR kids. My DH and I want our kids to be people we like. So far so good
Last edited by AfternoonCoffee; 10-01-2015 at 10:27 PM..
Reason: Typo
When you witness the miracle of birth (if you choose to go in with her) and they place that little baby in your arms that you and your wife made, those worries will be FAR away from your mind.
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