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Old 01-29-2008, 08:00 PM
 
Location: Virginia
242 posts, read 745,034 times
Reputation: 68

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So this has been a very trying time for me but I have been sticking to the basics:
1. Time outs
2. "1-2-3"
etc.
I find it to work, but I would love new ideas!

What do you do?...Does it work?
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Old 01-29-2008, 10:24 PM
 
9 posts, read 22,454 times
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In addition to what you do as far as the time outs, I make sure to give LOTS of praise about specific behavior so that my daughter knows exactly what makes me happy. Me being happy (whether good or bad) is important to her, at least for now anyway

Unlike you, I do not do the counting thing. I ask once and then I will say, either do what I ask or go to your room. period. And then I follow through with it and ignore the inevitable tears that come

The other thing that helps me is to remember that she is learning. She will do things that are wrong, but there is a method to this madness. She is learning what the boundaries are, if they have changed as she continues to change, and she's learning exactly what to expect when she does A, B, or C. This helps her stability by being able to predict my actions and her consequences. It's all part and parcel of her trying to figure out the world starting with the world at home.

I know it can be trying! Try to be patient. Your efforts now will inevitably make things easier as your 2 year old gets older!
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Old 01-30-2008, 04:16 AM
 
Location: UK
2,579 posts, read 2,134,287 times
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I don't know if you know this book: "Toddler Taming" by Dr Christopher Green.

I found it an invaluable resource when my children were 2-4. I will have to read it again soon when my third child will approach that age.

What I like about it is that it is very practical, down to earth and does not make you feel a failure as a parent, which is what a number of this type of books do.

Good luck
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Old 01-30-2008, 05:52 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 933,944 times
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a shot of tequila for me before bed...lol

just kidding ( we don't drink) but somedays it really doesnt seem like a bad idea! lol

Consistence, patience are the only two things that you need to keep in mind. My son isnt 2 yet (but I do have a 9 year old daughter, so I've been through it all before) but already starting...there's days that by the time my husband comes home I'm just ready to hand him over and go to bed! lol

I think a lot of the age comes from not being able to communicate how they are feeling, or what exactly they want ( I"m convinced half the time THEY don't know what they want! lol). My son throws temper tantrums but is *starting* (fingers crossed) to learn they don't work- After he throws himself to the floor and realizes hes not getting a response from me, he stops and either comes into my lap nicely, or finds something to play with...
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Old 01-30-2008, 06:43 AM
 
Location: lumberton, texas
652 posts, read 2,412,774 times
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my kids are 12 & 6 now but....

I used to call them the "terriffic two's". I know it sounds corny but there are so many fantastic things going on with a 2 yr old and the way they process information. I loved it.

but for the question.... CONSISTINCY I think played the biggest role. I did what you did and also if there was a fit and we were at home they had to sit in their room until they were done with the fit. Right away I made it clear to both kids that we did not want to be around the screaming and tantrum throwing. If we were out somewhere I would find a time out spot and ignore them til it was done.
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Old 01-30-2008, 07:46 AM
 
1,363 posts, read 5,344,630 times
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Consitency, patience, and do what you say you will do...I agree.

We use time outs for temper tantrums she throws just because she doesn't get what she wants when she wants it. She is consistently told that we will not give in to a temper, she will sit on her "temper chair" until she calms down, and then is given the opportunity to nicely request-with a please-what she wants. If she tempers again, she get the bench again, but this time no chance to ask nicely and her request is taken off the table so to speak.

If she breaks down b/c she is tired or hungry, then in my mind, that is my "fault" and I will snuggle her until she calms down and address the problem with either her nap or a snack.

When she does the throwing herself on the floor because she does not want to go out the door in the morning tantrum, then I tell her fine and will go with out her. The big thing for me that works for my kid is to not react. When I'm calm and calmly tell her that mommy has to go and doesn't have time for the drama, she snaps out of it pretty quick b/c she's not getting the reaction she wants. This works too at dinner time when she doesn't want to get in her chair to eat. We just tell her, "Fine. You don't want to go in the chair, then you don't eat dinner. Mommy and Daddy are going to eat and we'll talk to you when we're done." She gets in her chair, but if she didn't, I'm prepared to follow through with the threat.

I like to think of it as the "testing two's". She's testing us to see just how far she can go and what will get her what. It's hard and there are definately times I want to have my own tantrum and scream, "What is so hard to understand about not until after dinner!?!" and "How many times do you have to be told?!" but I don't. And if all else fails, and she continues beyond my best efforts to get her to behave, I just walk away to collect myself before going back in the ring. LOL.
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Old 01-30-2008, 08:46 AM
 
Location: Turn Left at Greenland
17,698 posts, read 34,876,219 times
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The terrible two's are a piece of cake! Give me a room full of screaming 2 year olds over 1 whiney 3 year old!!! Ugh! 2 year old tantrums are fleeting ... they last a few minutes and they don't hold a grudge. With my 3 kids, I ignored ignored ignored. If they started hurting themselves, or others, then they got a big bear hug with their faces turned outward so I could speak calmly into their ear until they settled down. You can also distract distract distract a 2 year old. 3 year olds become more focused on something.

Cherish the terrible twos!!!
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Old 01-30-2008, 11:18 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 933,944 times
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I have to admit, I really do love this age.

most days.

My son is 20 months old, and doesnt talk much ( no need to rush...then I won't be able to get him to shut up! ) and isn't in that "WHY WHY WHY " stage yet...its all cute stuff and discovery right now...imitating things, running around like a possessed child...and (my favorite) he's just learned to tell me when hes ready to go night night- he climbs up, lays his head on my shoulder and says ni-night.

My favorite time of day!

My daughter was good- near perfect- until she hit 3.

I'm still trying to figure out who switched her out- looks like my kid...SOUNDS like my kid...but oh no....MY daughter doesn't act like that! lol it certainly cant be MY child...lol
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Old 01-30-2008, 11:58 AM
 
Location: Turn Left at Greenland
17,698 posts, read 34,876,219 times
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I tried the 1-2-3 thing with my kids. All it did was teach them the count.

I'm sure that 3 year olds were put on this earth to give parents a preview of the teenage years.
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Old 01-30-2008, 01:13 PM
 
Location: Virginia
242 posts, read 745,034 times
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Well thank you all for your storys and tips, I will deff keep them all in mind. It sounds like I am on the right track, but being more consitant will seal the deal! Thanks to all the helpful Mommys!
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