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Old 01-30-2008, 10:55 AM
 
395 posts, read 1,792,329 times
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Band might help him out, it's not "nerdy" here either, my high school dd is in band. And does your son play chess? Since he isn't in to sports, perhaps he would like hobbies that require more thought. Many schools have chess clubs. Or maybe a computer club? If he can find a local club or activity that interests him he is bound to make some friends.
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Old 01-30-2008, 11:32 AM
 
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Even as an adult it is hard to make friends with people who are only interested in shoping (and you are frugal), only interested in Janet Evanovich novels (when you are interested in Umberto Eco), only interested in Lost or Amazing Race (when you are interested in Masterpiece Theater). Get the picture.

As all the others have shown, try to help him find some groups where there is a wider range of interests. I found my best friend by going to a stitching group and who would know a PHd in English Lit. is a stitcher too. Another two women are lawyers. So we found a common interest. Best to just be involved and friends can find you too.
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Old 01-30-2008, 11:40 AM
 
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I think one reason I worry so much is because he is like me. I was painfully shy in grade school, got better but still have trouble making friends or even small talk with acquaintances. But unlike him, it bothered me. I worried about what others thought of me and still do too much. My daughters are like their dad, never meet a stranger, can do anything they want.

He knows he's loved and may even be coming out of his shell a little bit. I like the fact that he's not bothered by what others might think.
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Old 01-30-2008, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 932,204 times
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I think other than being loving and supportive at home, and giving him room to participate in activities or clubs that DO interest him, he'll be just fine!

I was a band geek. We're not ALL nerds! lol
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Old 01-30-2008, 12:37 PM
 
Location: San Antonio-Westover Hills
6,878 posts, read 17,812,151 times
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Has he been tested for Asperger's?
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Old 01-30-2008, 12:47 PM
 
52 posts, read 215,914 times
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[quote=Mom2Feebs;2672552]Has he been tested for Asperger's?[/quote

  • Engaging in one-sided, long-winded conversations, without noticing if the listener is listening or trying to change the subject
  • Displaying unusual nonverbal communication, such as lack of eye contact, few facial expressions, or awkward body postures and gestures
  • Showing an intense obsession with one or two specific, narrow subjects, such as baseball statistics, train schedules, weather or snakes
  • Appearing not to understand, empathize with, or be sensitive to others' feelings
  • Having a hard time "reading" other people or understanding humor
  • Speaking in a voice that is monotonous, rigid or unusually fast
  • Moving clumsily, with poor coordination
  • Having an odd posture or a rigid gait

After looking at the above signs, I don't think that is his problem. He does tend to get obsessed with certain topics, like the presidential campaign right now... he has also been really really into volcanoes, dinosaurs (to the point of being able to scientifically name any you can think of) and things like that. But the rest not so much. He is a little clumsy but then so am I.
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Old 01-30-2008, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Grosse Ile Michigan
24,718 posts, read 59,579,994 times
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We have a daughter who used to go out to the back of the playground by herself and roll down a hill. She then climbed back up and rolled down again. Repeat until the bell rings - every day. Her teacher thought something was wrong. We had her checked out every possible way. The diagnosis: she marches to her own drummer.

No one else wanted to roll down the hill for all of recess, so she did it by herself. Too bad for them.

She is not like her sisters or brothers, but she gets along with them ok most of the time. She is very creative, and thinks differently than most people. Her first love is for animals, not people. She has no desire to "fit in" or be popular. Now in middle school, she is writing five books at once, has a small circle of decent friends, and due to early physical development, all of the popular boys are chasing her. She wants nothing to do with them. (They do not like to read the same kid of books as me (Fantasy)). She is definitely different, and will not ever be the most popular kid on the block. But I would not trade her for anyone.

Will she ever be "normal"? Probably not. At least I hope not.
But there is nothing "wrong" with her.

By the way, if you want him to have a close circle of friends, see if he has interest in theater. They all get very close during the plays and even mistfits find that they are accepted. It does not much matter if he is acting, crew, asst. directing, makeup, sets, whatever.
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Old 01-30-2008, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 932,204 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coldjensens View Post


Will she ever be "normal"? Probably not. At least I hope not.
But there is nothing "wrong" with her.
Normal is over rated
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Old 01-30-2008, 02:36 PM
 
52 posts, read 215,914 times
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Wow, that sounds like my son, lol. You're right, nothing is wrong with them. There's nothing wrong with being different. And in the long run, may be happier than someone who constantly worries about "fitting in."
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Old 01-30-2008, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas
560 posts, read 1,966,830 times
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First of all, you should purchase the book "Personality Plus for Parents"... this book is awesome and will help you so much in understanding your child. I read it over the summer and it has helped me so much in the classroom.

Another thing that a lot of "gifted" parents forget is that many times while a child may be academically gifted he/she can be behind socially. There is usually a trade off somewhere.

I have had several students over the years who sound like your son and they always seemed quite happy at school and got along well with everyone. I would hear the same story from their parents that the child would tell them that he/she just "hung out alone" during recess or lunch etc. and it just was not the case. Also, the way the school day is structured now there really is very little time spent on the playground or in an un-structured setting.

As other posters have said, as long as he has a loving, supportive home enviornment he will be just fine.
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