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In pretty much every family that could only afford 1 TV growing up, the oldest sibling decided.
The order in which you do things doesn't affect the ability to complete both tasks, so you can easily watch the movie first.
We're talking about a 7-year old, who can't be higher than 2nd grade. I'm sure the most she gets a night is 2 hours.
In ours, we took turns deciding if we could not agree on a tv show - we only had one tv. Often the parents decided what the family would watch, but my sister and I could ask for specific shows.
The order doesn't matter if the movie will not be on too late and interfere with bedtime.
Back to the OP's question, my kids are now young adults and seem to be fine people--not self-centered, etc. It would have been very easy for us to give them everything they wanted and raise a couple of spoiled entitled people.
We didn't want that of course. We consistently tried to make a connection between their actions and rewards. Getting to pick out a piece of candy at the grocery was because they behaved in the store. A parent paid trip to Europe was because they each had done outstanding work in college and high school. Little things and big things were connected to behavior and actions.
During the age where they rarely thought about others, I tried to turn it around on them and talk about feelings. If they were mean to each other, I asked how they thought it made the other feel. Developmentally they were not necessarily ready to do so, but it did make them think.
If it's easy to give them everything they want and that makes them happy, why don't you of course want them to be entitled?
Back to the OP - you are asking great questions while your daughter is this age.
Her behavior sounds well within the range of age appropriate self absorption, but I commend you for being deliberate in deciding both the values you want to instill and the behaviors you expect. Taking the time to choose how you want to parent is in far too short supply.
Too much parenting is short term "they want it, it's easier to give in, they'll stop whining if I give in" etc. - instead you are deciding where your boundaries are, being clear and consistent in your consequences, and (as others have noted) staying calm as you enforce those expectations.
Keep asking these kinds of questions, your kids sound lucky to have you.
Back to the OP - you are asking great questions while your daughter is this age.
Her behavior sounds well within the range of age appropriate self absorption, but I commend you for being deliberate in deciding both the values you want to instill and the behaviors you expect. Taking the time to choose how you want to parent is in far too short supply.
Too much parenting is short term "they want it, it's easier to give in, they'll stop whining if I give in" etc. - instead you are deciding where your boundaries are, being clear and consistent in your consequences, and (as others have noted) staying calm as you enforce those expectations.
Keep asking these kinds of questions, your kids sound lucky to have you.
What's wrong with giving kids everything they want?
All kids think the world revolves around them when they're little. As they get older, they'll develop a sense of compassion and empathy for others. Then that will disappear for a while during the teen years, except maybe toward other teens, and hopefully it will return as they grow into responsible, caring adults.
The way your daughter acts now is not the way she's going to behave for the rest of her life. She feels secure enough around you to be herself. She also sees other kids throwing tantrums and acting hysterical at school or other public places, and she wants to try out that behavior. Don't give in when she does that...explain one time why she can't have what she wants, and ignore the hysterics. When she sees that it doesn't get her anywhere, she'll get tired of it pretty soon.
Learning to put others before themselves is not always a healthy thing to teach. Teach them to share with others and to be considerate of our planet and other people, but don't teach them to just hand over anything they have to anyone who asks for it. Teach them to help others, but teach them to take time for themselves, and that they have the right to say no to unreasonable requests.
Kids do think the world revolves around them. Being self important used to change in grade school when one kid won 1st place for high jump and the others lost. No one ever loses anymore. They get a trophy for participating.
I wish parents taught kids how to fail. It happens all the time in life and doesn't mean they are a failure.
I haven't read all of the replies,but here's my thought.
If you give your kids definite boundaries, and then enforce those boundaries, they will grow up correctly learning that Hey, there are boundaries in life. And there are consequences for going outside of the boundaries.
Kids do think the world revolves around them. Being self important used to change in grade school when one kid won 1st place for high jump and the others lost. No one ever loses anymore. They get a trophy for participating.
I wish parents taught kids how to fail. It happens all the time in life and doesn't mean they are a failure.
I think that whole participating trophy is over blown. Yes...it does happen...but not near as much as some make it out to.
I haven't read all of the replies,but here's my thought.
If you give your kids definite boundaries, and then enforce those boundaries, they will grow up correctly learning that Hey, there are boundaries in life. And there are consequences for going outside of the boundaries.
That is basic displine....this father is worried that the mere fact that she's a typical 7 year old and wants to choose her morning cereal makes her prone to narcissism!
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