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Old 02-03-2008, 10:21 AM
 
3,155 posts, read 9,580,709 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by weluvwakeforest View Post
As a side note, my husband has all his school report cards. dating back to the early 70's... back when it was Raleigh City Schools (before the county merger). I sure wish I had mine too !! It's simply amazing how much details the teachers wrote on the pupil's (remember that word) report cards. All the nitty gritty details, including details regarding behavioral issues, work habits, I could go on and on !!
A friend of mine was a high school guidance council in the state of Wa. She said she and the teachers had to be VERY careful of the verbage they put in permenate files. I would imagine that report cards are permenate. She said a couple of school employees in her district had been sued by parents regarding wording put into file. I don't remember the details but at the time it seemed to me these parents were over reacting. She said it made her job exceedly hard. She had students that she suspected were using drugs and one that she was worried might be borderline suicidal. She had no proof in either case and the kids denied this stuff. So she could not write it in their files. She was leaving for maternity leave for a year and had to verbally tell her replacement about the kids she was worried about the most, because of the districts policies. CRAZY CRAZY stuff!!
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Old 02-03-2008, 02:42 PM
 
413 posts, read 1,115,778 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by saturnfan View Post
Just tell your kid that it better stop. Good it was caught early.My daughter went to a school that mainstreamed problem kids into elementary classes with regular students. School (NYC) didn't control the bullies.Upperclass kids had to beat the problem kids regularly to stop them from preying on the younger students. Good to see WCPSS is addressing this stuff before the bullying becomes a permanent trend for the child.
I am very disappointed in your insinuation saturnfan. The idea that "problem kids are mainstreamed with regular kids" is incredibly narrowminded and old school. Perhaps you meant instead of "problem kids" those with disabilities, learning or behavioral. We don't call them "problem kids" anymore. Furthermore, per your comments, you insinuate that this kid is a "problem child" when in fact you don't know that. You are basing that on the comment from the parent that the child had been written up "numerous times" (could be 3 times, could be 30...we don't know). 3 times doesn't make a "problem child" and I don't believe there is really any "problem child" or children anyway. I believe all children can be helped if there are behavioral issues, without the adults coming down labeling them. It's called compassion...and involves work. It may involve a team of caring adults, not those willing to point fingers and label. By the way, I have seen in many cases at elementary level in which the kids in the class pick up on the fact that a child is being labeled and continue that by saying "so and so" did it even when it wasn't the case. Also, haven't you ever heard that it's the 2nd person in line who always gets bit by the snake. (ok, perhaps this is just something familiar with the hikers out there--but the point is...the snake is asleep and is only awakened by the 1st person but is ready to strike the 2nd person....meaning, someone else may start something but it's the 2nd person who gets caught). Don't just assume things!
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Old 02-03-2008, 05:17 PM
 
Location: Wake Forest, NC
1,032 posts, read 3,044,602 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PDXmom View Post
A friend of mine was a high school guidance council in the state of Wa. She said she and the teachers had to be VERY careful of the verbage they put in permenate files. I would imagine that report cards are permenate. She said a couple of school employees in her district had been sued by parents regarding wording put into file. I don't remember the details but at the time it seemed to me these parents were over reacting. She said it made her job exceedly hard. CRAZY CRAZY stuff!!
I don't doubt this at all.
It was a different world back then, for sure.
DH's teachers wrote so much on his report card (of course in perfect manuscript) they practically ran out of room on the report card. Looking back, some of it may have appeared a bit picky, but at least it alerted the parents to potential social/academic issues.
I've been told all middle school "write ups" are shredded when they go to high school..... don't know if this is true or not.
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Old 02-03-2008, 09:42 PM
 
Location: Toronto
803 posts, read 1,895,399 times
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I hate to say it, but as a teacher I know that some students act very differently in school than they do at home with their parents. It may be hard to imaging your sweet precious angel doing the things that his/her teachers says, but believe me, it's not like we need to make things up - the truth is stranger and more interesting than fiction. When I taught kindergarten I once called a parent in to a meeting to discuss some behavior issues her son was having in class and she basically screamed at me for insinuating that her son was instigating or acting inappropriately. (I had called her because her angel son had smacked another student on the head with his umbrella and then laughed his head off when the other student started to cry.) Well, I asked her to stay and observe discretely through a small window in an out-of-commision bathroom, and 20 minutes was all it took and she was incredulous about her son's behavior.

What I'm trying to say is this: if you did not witness the incidents and you are relying on the report of your son as to who touched who first or whatever, then I think you need more information and should try to work with the teacher. Maybe you can observe the class discretely? I'm not saying that things are anything other than what you say, but I'm saying that they could be.
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Old 02-03-2008, 10:02 PM
 
Location: South Beach and DT Raleigh
11,543 posts, read 17,888,825 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by streetsmart View Post
I hate to say it, but as a teacher I know that some students act very differently in school than they do at home with their parents. It may be hard to imaging your sweet precious angel doing the things that his/her teachers says, but believe me, it's not like we need to make things up - the truth is stranger and more interesting than fiction. When I taught kindergarten I once called a parent in to a meeting to discuss some behavior issues her son was having in class and she basically screamed at me for insinuating that her son was instigating or acting inappropriately. (I had called her because her angel son had smacked another student on the head with his umbrella and then laughed his head off when the other student started to cry.) Well, I asked her to stay and observe discretely through a small window in an out-of-commision bathroom, and 20 minutes was all it took and she was incredulous about her son's behavior.

What I'm trying to say is this: if you did not witness the incidents and you are relying on the report of your son as to who touched who first or whatever, then I think you need more information and should try to work with the teacher. Maybe you can observe the class discretely? I'm not saying that things are anything other than what you say, but I'm saying that they could be.
Amen! There are so many kids out there whose parents think they are angels all the time and it just isn't always true. (For you parents who will jump all over me for that comment, notice the qualifier in my statement). So many parents are hoodwinked by their "My kid is an honor student" kids. If a teacher EVER went to my parents about my behavior, my butt was in some serious trouble. Therefore, I didn't act up and I learned how to be respectful, civil citizen to everyone. Now days, it's like some parents don't trust the teachers to tell them the truth and they always take the word of a 8 year old over that of a trained, underpaid professional.
I have heard stories like this over and over and over from my friends in the teaching profession. I don't know that I'd have the patience to deal with it.

"Believe the children" should be balanced with "Believe the Teacher".
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Old 02-04-2008, 05:34 AM
 
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 932,663 times
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If my daughter gets in trouble at school- shes in WORSE trouble at home!

I could make this a tirade about how too many parents try to be 'friend' and not 'mom and dad'...but whats the point.

If you're a friend 'parent' you already think your kid is perfect and can do no wrong, and if youre a parent parent, you agree with me.

No parent is perfect, but lack of discipline is a major epidemic in this country.
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Old 02-04-2008, 08:35 AM
 
3,155 posts, read 9,580,709 times
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Default OP- try a "hula hoop"

To the OP, I recently remembered my son's K teacher telling all the children to imagine that they had a hula hoop around themselves. (At the beginning of the year she would have the kids practice w/ real hula hoops outside to get a better idea.) She explained to them if they had a hula hoop between them and their neighbor or friend then they would always have enough room between each other. It worked great for lines and such. Maybe this might help your child understand his space verses other people's space.
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Old 02-04-2008, 12:05 PM
 
34 posts, read 90,222 times
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As the parent of a 4 year-old, the behavior described (touching another child's privates??) seems very inappropriate. As a teacher, I absolutely see the reason to document this. The other parent could claim sexual harrassment or a barrage of other things.

That being said, I only have daughters and they have never exhibited this kind of playing around.
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Old 02-04-2008, 12:24 PM
 
3,155 posts, read 9,580,709 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FL teacher View Post
As the parent of a 4 year-old, the behavior described (touching another child's privates??) seems very inappropriate. As a teacher, I absolutely see the reason to document this. The other parent could claim sexual harrassment or a barrage of other things.

That being said, I only have daughters and they have never exhibited this kind of playing around.
But it sounds like if you had sons they would not have displayed this type of playing around either. I just wanted to point out I don't think this is an issue unique to one gender or the other.
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Old 02-04-2008, 03:54 PM
 
29,462 posts, read 33,705,926 times
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The reality is that these types of incidents do not occur within the viewing area of school staff. The parent of the alleged victim demands something be done. School systems have put in place policies to make sure the school administration does something. Yet there is on witness and if the administration does nothing they run all the associated risks. If they do something without evidence they do face those risks. Thus zero tolerance which is the attempt to make sure something happens. We accept that the police don't solve every crime and we don't expect it to occur within 24 hours like we do in school. Try telling a parent you hope to have it resolved within 30 days. It boils down to one child against the other without the forensic support of CSI. Just look at the Duke rape case, life is not as simple as we would like it. Guilty? Innocent? Consequences?
Due Process?
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