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Old 02-02-2008, 07:54 PM
 
Location: N Y
38 posts, read 132,537 times
Reputation: 55

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Since when is a given first name offensive?
Quite honestly, having to call someone Miss or Mister reminds me of slavery. Maybe its because I am from the north, but I see no disrespect in calling someone by thier GIVEN name- nor being called by mine. It's not as if a first name is a curse word.
And just because you place a Miss or Mr before a name, does not make you a a more respectful person. It only means that you used a term that is perceived as respectful. Some of the most hateful and prejudiced people I know insist upon this from thier child.
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:25 PM
 
Location: San Antonio-Westover Hills
6,878 posts, read 17,812,151 times
Reputation: 5139
Quote:
Originally Posted by colorsofspring View Post
Since when is a given first name offensive?
Quite honestly, having to call someone Miss or Mister reminds me of slavery. Maybe its because I am from the north, but I see no disrespect in calling someone by thier GIVEN name- nor being called by mine. It's not as if a first name is a curse word.
And just because you place a Miss or Mr before a name, does not make you a a more respectful person. It only means that you used a term that is perceived as respectful. Some of the most hateful and prejudiced people I know insist upon this from thier child.
Really? The most hateful and prejudiced? Wow. Who do you hang around?

A first name isn't offensive. No one here in this thread has said that. Comparing a title that most people find simply respectful to an act of slavery is ridiculous, IMHO. Sorry, it just is.
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:27 PM
 
Location: Gary, WV & Springfield, ME
5,826 posts, read 8,459,169 times
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Speaking of titles....

This is a little off the subject but along the same lines... What about your spouse's parents insisting you call them maw & paw? I couldn't do it. I called them Mr & Mrs.

Last edited by AliceT; 02-02-2008 at 08:40 PM..
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Old 02-02-2008, 08:36 PM
 
Location: N Y
38 posts, read 132,537 times
Reputation: 55
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Feebs View Post
Really? The most hateful and prejudiced? Wow. Who do you hang around?

A first name isn't offensive. No one here in this thread has said that. Comparing a title that most people find simply respectful to an act of slavery is ridiculous, IMHO. Sorry, it just is.
Knowing people and hanging with them are two different things.
And yes, it absolutely does remind me of slavery. Different areas of the country have different cultures. Hard to believe isn't it?
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Old 02-02-2008, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Da Parish
1,127 posts, read 4,446,051 times
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Coming from an area where children are expected to address adults as Miss Cathy or Mr. Jones, it is rare to see a child call an adult by their first name. I had a situation where an adult asked my son to use her first name, (not from here), which kind of threw him for a loop. Here it is considered rude and he felt uncomfortable doing it, but it was what she wanted. I had to explain that yes, the practice is considered rude, (social norm here), but that it is considered bad manners to make someone uncomfortable and to go ahead and call her by her first name.

He did get some stern looks from other adults in public settings and I had to explain the situation when the parent of one of his friends asked about it, but he did what made that person comfortable.
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:18 PM
 
Location: Florida (SW)
38,424 posts, read 18,180,970 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Drouzin View Post
Coming from an area where children are expected to address adults as Miss Cathy or Mr. Jones, it is rare to see a child call an adult by their first name. I had a situation where an adult asked my son to use her first name, (not from here), which kind of threw him for a loop. Here it is considered rude and he felt uncomfortable doing it, but it was what she wanted. I had to explain that yes, the practice is considered rude, (social norm here), but that it is considered bad manners to make someone uncomfortable and to go ahead and call her by her first name.

He did get some stern looks from other adults in public settings and I had to explain the situation when the parent of one of his friends asked about it, but he did what made that person comfortable.
It could be dangerous to teach a child that they have to do what ever a non related adult wants of them--if you know what I mean. Now that I think about it; it really puts the child at risk.
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Old 02-02-2008, 10:26 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,421,488 times
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How confusing for your child when you are inconsistent in your directives and more worried about the one-minute [u]discomfort (oh gee) of an adult by your child simply doing the right thing as he was properly taught to do. Do you lower your standards just because society has lowered theirs? Shame on you, then. You chose inconsistency and impediment of your child's sense of security by changing the rules just to make an ADULT "comfortable" and lost a good lesson to him. How sad.
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Old 02-03-2008, 01:40 AM
 
2,141 posts, read 7,036,503 times
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I think adults should have respect for how other parents want to raise their children and put their preferences aside. So if parents want their children to address adults as Mr. and Mrs. or Miss the adult being addressed should not correct that child by saying, "I prefer you call me by my first name". Having more formal manners is not a bad thing and adults should put their preferences aside. There is no harm being done by a child referring to you as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss, other than maybe it makes you feel old. And to a child you are.
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Old 02-03-2008, 04:54 AM
 
2,015 posts, read 4,548,614 times
Reputation: 1861
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelaRed View Post
No One seems to allow it anymore. I like it, it shows the children are being polite and respect for their elders. But now days everyoneis like "Call me Nancy...Mrs. Jones is my mother in law"

I mean how am I sapose to teach my kids manners if no one will let me

It's not up to others to teach and train your kids, it's up to you. You teach them whatever is proper for your family, like addressing others by "Mr. and Mrs.". They will know that is the right thing to do. If someone says, call me "so and so", then they will. Some people like to go with the informal, and that's okay. The children will never go wrong by starting out with "Mr. or Mrs." though. It shows signs of politeness, respect, and good manners which go far these days both in personal and professional interactions.
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Old 02-03-2008, 05:49 AM
 
Location: beautiful North Carolina
7,574 posts, read 9,555,036 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lisak64 View Post
I think adults should have respect for how other parents want to raise their children and put their preferences aside. So if parents want their children to address adults as Mr. and Mrs. or Miss the adult being addressed should not correct that child by saying, "I prefer you call me by my first name". Having more formal manners is not a bad thing and adults should put their preferences aside. There is no harm being done by a child referring to you as Mr. or Mrs. or Miss, other than maybe it makes you feel old. And to a child you are.
I think this post sums it up completely. If I am speaking to an adult and call them Mrs. Smith, but Mrs. Smith is more comfortable being called Anna, although it might be uncomfortable for me, I will do so, adult to adult. When a child is being taught at home to address adults as Mr. and Mrs., then out of respect for the parents, we as adults should abide by that request. I am not judging anyone here that would prefer to be called by their first name, but in the same breath I will not have another adult undermine what I am teaching my children at home. If the adult can not respect these wishes in their home, then I will respect their wishes by not allowing my children to offend them in their environment, end of story. IMO.
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