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Old 02-04-2008, 03:44 PM
Location: Seattle, WA
1,368 posts, read 5,883,669 times
Reputation: 534


No one really taught me to use Sir or Ma'am, or Miss, but I just kind of picked it up. My favorite is if I say sir to someone, and he'll respond, "Don't call me sir! I work for a living!" My reply is always then, "What branch did/do you serve in?"

I'll take the time to explain that its my showing of respect, that I believe you have intelligence and wisdom beyond my own, and that I can and want to learn from you.

Either that, or its an officer and I must be a contrite college student who is being chastised for whatever it is I did wrong.
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Old 02-04-2008, 07:23 PM
Location: Wake Forest
934 posts, read 935,455 times
Reputation: 326
I didnt read through all of the responses but heres how it works 'in my neck of the woods'...

children refer to adults either as Mr or Mrs...OR (since we have a hard last name- Miss Debbie and Mr. Tom.

MIght be a southern thing, but most kids do it automatically.

We require all kids to do it as a show of respct, and our kids are required to address adults in one of those two forms. Only once has another parent said it wasn't necessary, and after explaining that this is how 'we' do, she was fine with it.

My daughter has known my best friend since she was born, and shes always been 'miss kellie'...lol

On the same note, I address with the 'sir' and m'am' titles as well...not so much when i know the person, but for others. The gas station owner around the corner is Tom, but i always address him by sir when answering him.

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Old 02-06-2008, 04:22 PM
Location: Da Parish
1,127 posts, read 4,451,091 times
Reputation: 985
Originally Posted by Lillietta View Post
Now I understand where you're coming from. From your statement and you seemingly highly sensitive to this reader, ("comments a little rough for [your] tastes") and not wanting to offend leads you to try to please others rather than remain consistent with your son. If you have to stretch or change the rules to please someone who is OFFENDED because a CHILD called him Mr or Mrs, what will you do when things really get hard?

[i]He learned that just because someone is inconsiderate; it doesn't mean that you have to be inconsiderate in return. [/I

I think you are confusing the HE-- out of him by teaching him that it is considerate to call someone Mr. and Mrs. and then explaining in another instance, that it is inconsiderate.
Sigh, it seems you are determined to get a rise out of me. Perhaps you are a bit sensitive yourself. If you don't like it that I am not thrilled with your, "shame on you," comment, tough. If you don't like that hospitality over rides a social norm in my household, tough. Get over it; I already have.
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Old 02-06-2008, 04:43 PM
Location: Da Parish
1,127 posts, read 4,451,091 times
Reputation: 985
Originally Posted by Mom2Feebs View Post
Not offended, LOL, just baffled. It didn't seem like anyone directed their comments toward your post, at all. I thought you were confused and was trying to help, but I guess not.
I found the, "shame on you," and "put more politely than I would," comments to be very negative. When someone essentially tells you that you are a bad mother or states that they would have been rude to me if someone else hadn't been polite, I find it to be a bit rough.

Despite Lillietta's asertation that when I do not mean to offend it is to be read that I am a doormat, I will again say that I did not mean to offend you with the comment. My purpose was to let those two posters know that I was not exactly thrilled with the comments, and to not clutter the board with useless bickering. I guess I should have been more specific, but did not want to embarrass anyone or get into an argument, but as you can see that's exactly what happened anyway. My apologies to the rest of the board for the drama and confusion.
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Old 02-06-2008, 04:56 PM
Location: beautiful North Carolina
7,574 posts, read 9,563,424 times
Reputation: 5505
Seeing where this may be headed, please no personal attacks and address the subject matter only.
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Old 02-08-2008, 06:15 PM
8,893 posts, read 4,058,579 times
Reputation: 5567
I'm in my 50's and still address certain people from my childhood as Mr. & Mrs., can't seem to be able to call them by their first name. I taught my daughters to be respectful and address people as Mr. & Mrs., they still do and now their children are being taught the same thing.
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Old 02-10-2008, 08:13 AM
2,134 posts, read 3,414,293 times
Reputation: 602
This thread is kind of funny. People getting angry over being called Mr./Ms, etc. instead of a first name. Pretty clear to me....since the 1970's the culture has been obsessed by youth and a lot of people freak out when it is called to their attention that they are indeed AN ADULT. Oh, the horror. Very silly behavior, in my opinion. The parents are teaching their children some basic civility. Sorry if it makes you feel "funny" to be called Mr. Jones or ma'am. You are indeed an adult and the parents are teaching their child to be polite to their elders. If this really bugs you, I think you should spend a moment examining how you feel about getting older and deal with that issue....not how insulted you are by the nice little 7 year old that is just trying to be a decent kid.
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Old 02-10-2008, 09:13 AM
8,893 posts, read 4,058,579 times
Reputation: 5567
Amen to that, Elmonellie! Maybe if children were taught a little more respect, the world would be a nicer place...
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Old 02-10-2008, 12:35 PM
Location: Mountains of middle TN
5,232 posts, read 13,577,365 times
Reputation: 6011
Originally Posted by austinsmom View Post
I let kids call me that the first time and then tell them to call me by my name. I'm more comfortable that way. I always tell my son to speak to someone the first time using Mr. or Mrs. and never call an adult by their name unless given permssion. We live in a different time. Not everyone is a Mrs. and that gets confusing too. You can tell them to do and if an adult tells them it's ok to use their name, what is the big deal?
This was going to be my answer. I expect my children to address adults as Mr or Mrs / Ms whatever, or if they don't know, sir or ma'am. If the adult requests they be addressed by their first name however, that's their choice. As long as the kids address them properly unless requested otherwise, I don't see a problem.
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Old 02-10-2008, 01:18 PM
Location: Camberville
11,404 posts, read 16,026,836 times
Reputation: 18079
I was raised to address everyone as Mr. and Mrs. unless instructed otherwise. However, how rude can you possibly be to instruct your child to call someone by a name they do not wish to be called?

I am 20 years old and so, to most young children, I'm just as much of an adult as mommy and daddy. However, I do not wish to be addressed as "Miss ___Lastname__". I have been corrected by parents of these children and told that the children would continue to address me by a name that I do not wish to be called. If the parents wanted their child to respect me, they would allow them to call me by the name I wished to be called. It is completely disrespectful and downright rude to continue calling someone a name they have stated they do not want to be called.

Please allow your children to respect ME by allowing them to call me what I want them to call me. Otherwise, the fault is on you, not me.
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