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Old 02-01-2008, 02:39 PM
 
Location: New Port Richey
118 posts, read 577,908 times
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No One seems to allow it anymore. I like it, it shows the children are being polite and respect for their elders. But now days everyoneis like "Call me Nancy...Mrs. Jones is my mother in law"

I mean how am I sapose to teach my kids manners if no one will let me
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:46 PM
 
Location: Dallas, NC
1,703 posts, read 3,453,134 times
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I let kids call me that the first time and then tell them to call me by my name. I'm more comfortable that way. I always tell my son to speak to someone the first time using Mr. or Mrs. and never call an adult by their name unless given permssion. We live in a different time. Not everyone is a Mrs. and that gets confusing too. You can tell them to do and if an adult tells them it's ok to use their name, what is the big deal?
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:47 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,699,111 times
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I prefer people (including children) call me by my first name, it's just my preference. I don't think it has anything to do with proper manners anymore. A child can be perfectly mannered without addressing me as "Ms" or "Miss" or "Missus".
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:48 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,422,807 times
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To some parents it is a big deal and you just have to insist on it if you want it, both with the adult and the child. The parents make the decisions.
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:49 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,699,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillietta View Post
To some parents it is a big deal and you just have to insist on it if you want it, both with the adult and the child. The parents make the decisions.
I think the person being addressed is the one who should make the decision how they wish to be addressed. If they don't like it, then you're essentially being rude every time you call them a name they don't wish to be called by.

Look at it this way, if someone wanted to be addressed as Mr or Mrs and you didn't do it, that would be rude too.
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:54 PM
 
Location: Land of 10000 Lakes + some
2,885 posts, read 1,422,807 times
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You can't go wrong raising a child to be polite. And you can say politely, It's my preference. For me, this is a show of respect.
I can assure you of one thing: Teachers have always said, "Your child shows a lot of respect" and they kept my children in mind for various special types of advancement, participation. It got them far all their lives. So it's up to the parent as to how they want their child raised. Everyone else is secondary and no one is going to be insulted to be called Mr. or Mrs.
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Old 02-01-2008, 02:58 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
20,015 posts, read 20,519,392 times
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Children in my area will use Miss or Mr. and then the first name. example Miss Nancy, when addressing adults that do not with to be call Miss or Mr. last name. I commend you for teaching this to your children. I still say sir and ma'am and im 45. You just need to insist that you prefer your kid to address them as Miss Nancy.
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Old 02-01-2008, 03:06 PM
 
3,107 posts, read 8,033,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RoaminRed View Post
I think the person being addressed is the one who should make the decision how they wish to be addressed. If they don't like it, then you're essentially being rude every time you call them a name they don't wish to be called by.

Look at it this way, if someone wanted to be addressed as Mr or Mrs and you didn't do it, that would be rude too.
I would have agreed with this not too long ago but recently, I overheard our neighbors 70+ yr old parents say, "You see how Joe & Cindy call us Mr. & Mrs. So & So? It's nice to hear that people still have manners." The other gentleman he was talking to agreed.

They were referring to my husband & me (we're in our 40s) who always address our neighbors parents by Mr/Mrs even when they've invited us to call them by their first names. We were raised that way and still have a very difficult time calling anyone significantly older than us (about 20 yrs I guess or more like our parents' ages) by their first names.


AngelaRed - I totally hear you on this and I'm torn. My husband is insistent that our children address all our adult friends as Mr/Mrs/Ms. I've told him that so many of my girlfriends always say "that's my MIL" (the guys don't seem to have any issues). He maintains that it's our right and duty as parents to set the rules of etiquette with our children - not anyone else's.

I have to admit that there are a lot of neighborhood kids who address us by our first names and often talk to us as if we're equals (with snarky comments or language that they would use with their peers). I think there indeed needs to be some kind of distinction but not sure how you accomplish this when other parents don't agree or let you necessarily parent the way you want to (by insisting they don't want to be addressed formally).

When I was in my early 30s, I was addressed by my boss's 16 yr old nephew in military school as "M'am". I told him he didn't need to do that and he said, "Oh yes I do, m'am". He is in his 20s now and STILL m'ams and sir's us.

I guess I'd rather have that than be addressed as "hey sweetie" by a high-schooler (at the Starbucks drive-thru window) or hear my 78-yr old dad addressed as "Yo, dude - whatcha lookin' for?" in a store.
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Old 02-01-2008, 03:11 PM
 
3,107 posts, read 8,033,425 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares View Post
Children in my area will use Miss or Mr. and then the first name. example Miss Nancy, when addressing adults that do not with to be call Miss or Mr. last name. I commend you for teaching this to your children. I still say sir and ma'am and im 45. You just need to insist that you prefer your kid to address them as Miss Nancy.
My friends' children in Texas use this form of address - Mr/Mrs/Miss, etc...First Name.

I'm hoping DH will go along with that. We taught our visiting nieces that as they were (to our horror) addressing our adult neighors as "Hey..."!
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Old 02-01-2008, 03:13 PM
 
Location: Oz
2,238 posts, read 8,699,111 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lillietta View Post
Everyone else is secondary and no one is going to be insulted to be called Mr. or Mrs.
So despite the fact that someone (like me) wants and prefers to be addressed by their first name, you'll still insist your child address them in a manner that they do not like? It's fine for the kid to do that if you don't know the person's preferences, but once I say "Please call me by my first name" then it's only polite for you and your child to do so. If you continued to do so after I've nicely asked you not to, then yes...you're being insulting by not following my reasonable request.
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