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My 6-year-old son's teacher called me today that he received a complaint from another girl (6-yr-old)'s parents. It said my son "punched" or "poked" (teacher's words) that girl's private area. I haven't seen the written complaint. When I asked my son if he did that, he first told me yes and the girl laughed when he did it. But when I asked him why he did it and what exactly happened, he said he don't know why and can't remember.
In my home we never exposed my son to sex-related contents. All the tablets he plays have parental control. I am not sure he even knows about sex. As far as I know the kids in my son's school like to pretend to fight each other during recess time. Some boys and girls (mostly 1st and 2nd graders) sometimes punch each other.
But this time in "private area" makes the whole situation serious. I don't want my son to lie but he was telling me conflicting facts. He is not good at expressing himself compared with other same ages. What should I do?
I don't think it was anything sexual. At that age they don't know levels of appropriateness or why a playful punch there isn't acceptable like a punch to the arm.
I think it is time for his first sex talk though. Just explain the different body parts using medical terms on men and women with pictures or diagrams and explain that we need to be respectful of each other's bodies, especially private areas. My daughter will be six soon and I plan to have this talk with her soon after.
If he had a sister you would see these as normal, but obnoxious, play events.
Mom he put his butt on my head
Mom she got her privates too close to me
Ahhh he touched my privates (accidentally in play)
You don't have boobs yet, sister, those aren't private yet
Ahhhhh I saw his peeeniisssss
Etc. etc. etc.
It actually gets old. But because my kids have close aged sibling of the opposite gender, it's brought me lots of chances to talk about private areas. And I would be really shocked if they did anything like that with the opposite gender at school.
Now boys. I also had two boys (grown now). They seemed to occasionally punch or kick eachother in the privates and think it was so funny. I didn't hear about it much. It was kind of a boys will be boys thing.
So my thoughts are your son did this maybe out of curious it but maybe out of plain old play (not appropriate, but still...not malicious). What you need to do is sit down with him and just let him know that, he is never allowed to do that again. It is simply not allowed. Don't over think it. He isn't a pedophile. Just a normal kid.
If he does share he is curious about girl parts, or you think he is. I highly suggest books. Look on Amazon, preview them and give them to him. And casually bring up asking what he has learned in the books and if he has any questions. He is still too young, really. It's more age 8-10 that come up with those questions. But just a thought for the future. They do have some for younger kids as well.
The school has to make a big deal about it but feel free to tell them you spoke sternly to your son and you are sure it's normal childhood behavior and you think he understands now that it is wrong.
Last edited by HighFlyingBird; 11-23-2015 at 05:48 PM..
I don't think it was anything sexual. At that age they don't know levels of appropriateness or why a playful punch there isn't acceptable like a punch to the arm.
I think it is time for his first sex talk though. Just explain the different body parts using medical terms on men and women with pictures or diagrams and explain that we need to be respectful of each other's bodies, especially private areas. My daughter will be six soon and I plan to have this talk with her soon after.
If you haven't talked about "parts" and boys and girls, it's a good time to start. Again, this topic came up early in my house. Close in age boy/girl and my husband used to be naked in front of them often (not anymore)
By six, kids should really already know the names of their genitals as well as the fact that these are private areas. They should definitely be learning or have already learned what is and isn't appropriate touching. Whether or not you keep your child from viewing sexual content (news flash, no matter how hard you try, they are still going to see some) is irrelevant. It's a danger for children to be ignorant about sex related topics (age appropriate, of course). They need to know good touch/bad touch.
By six, kids should really already know the names of their genitals as well as the fact that these are private areas. They should definitely be learning or have already learned what is and isn't appropriate touching. Whether or not you keep your child from viewing sexual content (news flash, no matter how hard you try, they are still going to see some) is irrelevant. It's a danger for children to be ignorant about sex related topics (age appropriate, of course). They need to know good touch/bad touch.
My son was 6. He was playing a game 10 feet from me on my iPhone. An ad came up, he pressed it. Then he typed in random letters in the browser it took him to. Next think he knows he is staring at a naked woman and a penis. His eyes bugged out and he ran to me. But then...he asked if he could see it again.
Is the school making an issue of this? I hate to think so, but you never know in these days of zero tolerance.
Either way, your son needs to get the message that he must keep his hands to himself. There is no reason to differentiate between punch to the arms and punches to the genitals, no punching should happen at all.
But, yes, if you haven't begun to discuss body parts and privacy, start.
I hope the school and the parents are just using it as a learning experience. I sure hope they don't go on and one and on about it. He needs to learn but not gain a complex about it.
Gees he's only 6. He'll be fine!
(Asking my 6yo to tell me what happened at an event or school is like pulling teeth!)
No...or not yet. But I am concerned about the possibility that the other kid's parents will do. Do I need to find a lawyer now?
I don't think so. Why not have your son write an apology note to the little girl though, as acknowledgment that he understands he was wrong to punch her (without even mentioning where the punch landed). It couldn't hurt.
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