Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
By that I mean parents that practically have a heart attack if their kid(s) don't get straight A's, or are disappointed if their child picks a career that isn't likely to earn them a six figure salary or the like. I do understand parents wanting their children to do well and understand being concerned if they are getting F's or D's or say they want to be a janitor for the rest of their lives, but other than that why are there parent's that seem downright obsessed that their children always get tops grades and attend a prestigious university.
For example growing up I was friends with a kid that did fairly well in school and got As, Bs, and a few Cs but never Ds or Fs and never failed yet for his parents anything less than straight As was completely unacceptable and he would tell me his parents would yell and scream at him and even take privileges away unless he got straight As. He ended up graduating HS with a 3.4 GPA and ended up going to a community college getting a degree in History. I remember him telling me his parents were very disappointed he didn't choose to be a Dr, or Engineer or what have you but he was happy.
Haven't spoken to him in many years but last I knew he was working in a factory and whenever he was around his parents they'd make mean and snarky comments about it. Seriously, so long as your child is happy WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHETHER THEY HAVE SOME AMAZING CAREER OR NOT??? I just don't understand parents that aren't happy unless their children happens to make perfect grades and are on track to a guaranteed six figure income. What? Are the parents so ashamed of being losers themselves they think they can make their kids a success? If it means so much to them why don't THEY go to a top university, get incredible grades, make the deans list and become multi millionaires if they think it's so easy and they need the prestige so badly??
For me my parents were cool, thankfully they never really got into my affairs in schooling past making sure I went and I wasn't failing. Even when I was about to go to college they just asked what I was going in for and said I wasn't sure and they just basically said, whatever. I actually think it's a little sick the way some parents get crazy obsessed that their kids must either work towards being the next Bill Gates or they are otherwise disowned.
It's all about the parent's bragging rights and their own insecurities. It has nothing to do with the kids. They are just the victims of emotional and mental abuse.
Ironically Bill Gates and many other famously successful people were/are dropouts!
I get upset at my son if he comes home with C's. But only if those C' s are because he is lazy or not doing his best,missing assignments, not turning in HW etc. Then I get Upset.
IDK, I think most parents mean well. They want better for their children than they had for themselves. They want to feel confident that their kids will be fine on their own.
Parents know the hardships of providing for children...And they've been around long enough to learn that financial freedom offers one a great deal of flexibility in life.
I think there are two different issues (1) school and (2) career path.
I have 3 kids - 8, 6 and almost 4. Will I accept them not doing well in school? No way. The fact is, if you are school age, you don't fully appreciate the "bigger picture" of a good education. For the majority of people, education equals more opportunity which equals more choices. If my children have the intellectual ability to make straight As then they better do it. According to my calculations, it will cost my children $35K-40K (per year) or more to attend University of Texas. Right now, it's about $26K per year.
That is a lot of money. We will not qualify for any financial aid. If they want to go to college, they better do their best in high school so that they get some scholarship to help with costs. If I am going to invest $120K, heck, they better do well.
And I say this with all sincerity, after they graduate from college, then whatever career path they choose - I will not judge them AS LONG AS they do NOT come back to us with their hands out.
It is my job as a parent to provide every opportunity for my children that I can. After that - good luck!
BTW, when I taught, I hated it when my students would use Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak or Michael Dell as reasons why it's OK to slack in school. I always used to reply - "Do you have a 160 IQ? Do you have an invention that will change the world? Did you get accepted into an elite college? NO? Then what do those people have to do with you?"
There is a lot more anxiety now than there used to be about people's ability to make a comfortable living without a degree from a competitive university. When I was in school all folks really needed was a high school diploma. With that, you could march yourself down to the local factory or UPS or whatever and get a decent paying unionized job. Or you could go to the local community college and get a 2 year degree in nursing or secretarial, etc. and launch your adult working life. You could even apprentice in multiple trades and make a nice life for yourself.
That is increasingly not true these days, more and more a 4 year degree is required to even be an administrative assistant. Options for those with just a diploma are now concentrated more often in non-unionized low-paying retail positions. Going to college starts to look necessary. Which means getting As and Bs in high school, and damn near straight As including AP classes if you want to go to the top colleges. Which means more parents feel anxious about pushing the snot out of their kids.
TL: DR version: Shyt rolls downhill. Nervous parents respond to a more competitive world by driving thier kids super hard.
I think there are two different issues (1) school and (2) career path.
I have 3 kids - 8, 6 and almost 4. Will I accept them not doing well in school? No way. The fact is, if you are school age, you don't fully appreciate the "bigger picture" of a good education. For the majority of people, education equals more opportunity which equals more choices. If my children have the intellectual ability to make straight As then they better do it. According to my calculations, it will cost my children $35K-40K (per year) or more to attend University of Texas. Right now, it's about $26K per year.
That is a lot of money. We will not qualify for any financial aid. If they want to go to college, they better do their best in high school so that they get some scholarship to help with costs. If I am going to invest $120K, heck, they better do well.
And I say this with all sincerity, after they graduate from college, then whatever career path they choose - I will not judge them AS LONG AS they do NOT come back to us with their hands out.
It is my job as a parent to provide every opportunity for my children that I can. After that - good luck!
BTW, when I taught, I hated it when my students would use Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak or Michael Dell as reasons why it's OK to slack in school. I always used to reply - "Do you have a 160 IQ? Do you have an invention that will change the world? Did you get accepted into an elite college? NO? Then what do those people have to do with you?"
I can't rep you again for this
I was raised how you're raising your kids. My parents didn't expect "perfection" but they did expect me and my siblings to do our absolute best. I'd rather have had "tough" parents who were super involved than parents who don't care and don't value education.
Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg didn't just drop out of college, they dropped out of Harvard. That's a world of difference than dropping out random small state college. They had to get into Harvard before they could drop out.
In the case of my daughter: I don't need her to get straight A's but I do expect more from her. She has everything I never received as a kid: Support/help with her homework, we pay $300 p/month for a math tutor, use online resources like Khan Academy and other sites which I pay for membership. She has all the tools needed to be successful in school.
By that I mean parents that practically have a heart attack if their kid(s) don't get straight A's, or are disappointed if their child picks a career that isn't likely to earn them a six figure salary or the like. I do understand parents wanting their children to do well and understand being concerned if they are getting F's or D's or say they want to be a janitor for the rest of their lives, but other than that why are there parent's that seem downright obsessed that their children always get tops grades and attend a prestigious university.
Fifty years ago any American with a BA in anything could get a good job. Forty years ago that changed somewhat. A history or psychology degree would not get you a job that put you solidly in the middle class. Now things are even more competitive. A lot of our engineering jobs and computer programming jobs are done in India and China. There are still jobs of that type here but every time that market heats up our corrupt politicians raise the H-1B visa level and flood our job market.
In conclusion: Of course these parents are going nuts. They understand the nature of the shrinking job market and don't want an employer to find any cause to overlook their child. As for those students that major in Poly Sci, history, philosophy or psychology, learn this phrase; Do you want fries with that?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.