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Unless twins run in the family this is an "assisted" pregnancy. Anything from fertility enhancement or using donor eggs or even sperm.
Ummm, I am a twin .. The only set in the family. No donor eggs, or assistance. We were originally going to be named "Oops"and "oh s**t ", but they wouldn't allow it on our birth certificates.
LOL, 55 and 68 are much different, by the time the kid is ready for college he'll be 86. Statically speaking he's probably not going to make it that long, he could of course, anything is possible.
The larger point is is that having a kid at 68 isn't what's best for the kid, I get my back up when people act irresponsibly when children are involved, they are generally serving their own wants and needs, having a kid at that age, this affects an innocent third party, that is the larger point, why bring a child into world under less than ideal conditions... oh yeah, that right, cause people do what ever the F they want without thinking about what's best in the larger picture especially when another persons life is involved.
These simple facts seems to be lost a few people in this thread.
I hear what you're saying and agree that generally, a 68-year-old having a baby probably isn't what's best for the child. But it all breaks down when it comes to individual cases. This particular dad may be financially stable, in great physical shape, super patient, and well-aware of how fleeting childhood is. He may treasure every moment with them and have a great view of the big picture when it comes to raising children. These twins may very well have one of the best childhood experiences kids can have and even if their dad is 90 when they're in college, he may have given them a wonderful foundation for their adult years.
Compare those possibilities to twins being born to a pair of 20-year-olds who are struggling to stay alive, are exhausted by working and trying to get an education and feel cheated because their youth came to a screeching halt when they found out they were expecting a baby.
Those are extreme examples, but the age of a person is only one of many factors that goes into whether he's going to be a good parent.
And this is your opinion.... Why do you care so much about other people's relationship choices - age gaps, how old they are when they have kids, etc..?
This is a public forum. Chow expressed his opinion, as you did yours and other posters did theirs, which is great. The more opinions, respectfully expressed, the more interesting the discussion, imo.
My ex-husband and I are both "older" parents, too. I was 30, he 42 when we had our first child; 37 and 49 when we had our third. We, too, have advanced degrees and live in affluent communities. We, too, are health conscious and fit. We, too, have preteens and teens. We also have one now in college. My ex-husband makes an excellent income (me, not so excellent ), and he's always been a pretty involved dad. But, parenting at his age (61) has exhausted him. And my kids certainly feel the effects of having an older dad.
Sure, there are benefits to having kids when one is older. Statistics don't lie: as we know, marriages are more likely to be "successful" (i.e. they don't end in divorce), and the offspring of those marriages have better educational outcomes, when both partners are well-educated and somewhat older when they begin families.
However, I'm now unconvinced that starting to have children in one's 40s or older is as great as I once thought. Without question, being a younger parent offers many advantages, too, including some we might overlook. Energy, as I've mentioned, is a big one (yes, your husband and my ex-husband are fit for their ages, but my ex would have more energy if he were 51, for example, with two teens and one pre-teen, rather than 61). Health is another (my ex and I are both fortunate to have always enjoyed good health, but it's a fact that health issues are more likely to arise as one ages). Finances (paying for college/planning for retirement) can be another (it might not be for you, but it can be for others who are just as well-educated, responsible and hard-working).
Being young enough to be able and willing to relate to kids and their concerns is a good thing. Also, having reasonably healthy, active grandparents around, who are able to be involved with their grandchildren for as long as possible is invaluable to children's development. Both my ex's parents and one of mine have been deceased for years, so my kids have gone through most of their childhoods with only one grandparent, and HER health isn't the best. Thank goodness my mom is only 73, though. Had my parents waited until THEY were older to have their kids, my kids would have had no experience with grandparents, at all.
I could mention others benefits to being younger parents, but this post is long enough.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 12-07-2015 at 01:01 PM..
LOL, what did I do to offend you so, was it the "anti age gap" thing??? Did you read where I said I couldn't care less what two adults do, I only say it generally is better when there isn't as big of an age gap.
And the bolded is the issue.
Who are you to be saying what is "generally better" in relationships? Did I miss the memo that Chowhound has it right?
If you couldn't care less what two adults do, why the need to "rail against" anything when it comes to what two adults choose to do within their relationship? Seems that there is just a bit of "give a crap" in you.
I hear what you're saying and agree that generally, a 68-year-old having a baby probably isn't what's best for the child. But it all breaks down when it comes to individual cases. This particular dad may be financially stable, in great physical shape, super patient, and well-aware of how fleeting childhood is. He may treasure every moment with them and have a great view of the big picture when it comes to raising children. These twins may very well have one of the best childhood experiences kids can have and even if their dad is 90 when they're in college, he may have given them a wonderful foundation for their adult years.
Compare those possibilities to twins being born to a pair of 20-year-olds who are struggling to stay alive, are exhausted by working and trying to get an education and feel cheated because their youth came to a screeching halt when they found out they were expecting a baby.
Those are extreme examples, but the age of a person is only one of many factors that goes into whether he's going to be a good parent.
Fair enough.
You make some valid points. I suppose where some of this is coming from is that people doing things that effect others' lives in a negative way really peeves me. I grew up in a very crappy situation at times and my mother was just selfish in how she lead her life which indirectly effected me. I just think that people should be cognizant of the impact of their choices on others.
Having a kid at 68 may turn out peachy as you've laid out, but when you line up all of the pro's and con's and list them out, it's still better to have kids at a younger age, heck even 40ish is a hell of a lot better than 68. Mrs. Chow's dad had her when he was around 43 or so and it didn't seem to be too much of a strain on him.
68... IDK... not as much.
And for those people hung up on people being "judgy" and all, this is just my humble opinion, as always.
Who are you to be saying what is "generally better" in relationships? Did I miss the memo that Chowhound has it right?
If you couldn't care less what two adults do, why the need to "rail against" anything when it comes to what two adults choose to do within their relationship? Seems that there is just a bit of "give a crap" in you.
I don't care what two people do in a relationship til it affects other people, an innocent baby here. I just think when people do things that affect others some thought should be given to it.
I don't really see how this is a hard concept for people to get, I mean really, I'm baffled over here.
Did you see the post where I said this is a message board and people express opinions, my opinion is that huge age gaps aren't the best of choices, would you prefer if I said the best choice for me as opposed to in general.
No one is saying "Chowhound" is right, simply sharing opinions as what an Internet message forum is pretty much about.
if you don't like my opinions feel free to put me on block, you must certainly wouldn't be the first to do so.
Being young enough to be able and willing to relate to kids and their concerns is a good thing. Also, having reasonably healthy, active grandparents around, who are able to be involved with their grandchildren for as long as possible is invaluable to children's development. Both my ex's parents and one of mine have been deceased for years, so my kids have gone through most of their childhoods with only one grandparent, and HER health isn't the best. Thank goodness my mom is only 73, though. Had my parents waited until THEY were older to have their kids, my kids would have had no experience with grandparents, at all.
Now it's about having the grandparents around being "invaluable to the kid's development"?
Did you see the post where is said this is a message board and people express opinions, my opinion is that huge age gaps aren't the best of choices, would you prefer if I said the best choice for me as opposed to in general.
Yes, actually, unless you feel that you are competent enough to speak about "people in general".
It's not really a hard concept to understand that what might work for you is not universal, is it?
Now it's about having the grandparents around being "invaluable to the kid's development"?
Oy.
Are you a parent???
See, I never used to think about that. I never thought about it before I had kids, nor at the time I WAS having mine. But being a parent for almost 20 years now and having the experience of being around many other parents and families of all ages has shown me that, yes, having grandparents around is a wonderful thing for kids (AND for the parents). If you're not a parent, you wouldn't understand.
I'm a woman who was married to an older man and dad for more than 20 years, yet I'm not the least bit offended by Chow's opinions. See, because, I'm able to see both sides of the issue.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 12-07-2015 at 01:31 PM..
Now it's about having the grandparents around being "invaluable to the kid's development"?
Oy.
LOL, you're really struggling with this stuff aren't you.
The more positive influences a child has in their life, the better, aka grand parents being around can be labeled by some as "invaluable" doesn't mean that people without gram and gramps in the picture is bad.
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), and he's always been a pretty involved dad. But, parenting at his age (61) has exhausted him. And my kids certainly feel the effects of having an older dad. 
Did you read where I said I couldn't care less what two adults do, I only say it generally is better when there isn't as big of an age gap.
