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Old 12-23-2015, 07:48 AM
 
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,756,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
My son was 4. He had a horrible year. He was upset that he was on the naughty list, but the video was given to him 3 weeks before Christmas so he could better himself. We even took him to a therapist to figure out why he acts the way he does. He did not choose to better himself. He sat next to me while I called the 800 number they had (not sure if there is a number this year) and I left a message to not even bother stopping by our house.

Santa left a message on the mantel saying he got my message but thought the kids deserved one last chance but that he would NOT come the next year if they didn't straighten out. My son is now 5 and my daughter is 8 and they've been horrible!! All they do is constantly fight, and worse than regular sibling fights. My son is in the principal's office almost daily, at 5 years old!!

Santa is probably not visiting our house this year, and if he does, it will be for my daughter since she can at least control herself at school. My son will deal with it. He's 5, so it's not like it needs much explaining.

And before anyone gets all snotty saying I'm mean and he's "only 5", you don't have a child like mine. Look up what ODD is. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Read all about it and how there is nothing that can correct it beyond what we're doing to help him. He continues to defy everyone trying to help him, and it's just going to be a waiting game for him to get older and make the decision to choose to be better. It is NOT ok for a 5 year old to hit and kick his parents and call them such hateful (sometimes made-up, but the sentiment of hate is there) words.
If there is nothing you can do, then why take his Christmas gifts away? It won't help. It might even make him more angry and resentful.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zymer View Post
What??!! Are you serious?

That may be the problem right there. I think kids should be allowed to be just kids until they start 1st grade. No school before that. That's just crazy. No wonder he's messed up.
Many, many kids are in day care from a young age and do not develop ODD. Don't be ridiculous. "School" at that age is play, feeding, and naps. A little older, and they start doing art projects and listening to stories. They don't sit in desks and do work at 4 months old.
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Old 12-23-2015, 11:00 PM
 
6 posts, read 9,113 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
Really?

Because you've taught them right from wrong.

If fear of not getting gifts is your parenting strategy, what are you going to do when they no longer believe in Santa?

It would be fear of not getting gifts from parents then.
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Old 12-27-2015, 11:50 AM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,235,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
This is probably our biggest obstacle. He's "too smart". He's at a public school in the Pre-K program, but it's a paid program because Texas doesn't have Pre-K as part of their regular curriculum (except for ESL, Foster kids, Kids with Disabilities, and Military kids). They don't want to take care of kids until they're 5 by the age of Sept 1. Mine just turned 5 a couple of weeks ago.

With that, they've been having "fun" running tests on him and all they keep telling me is, "Yep, he's passed the Kinder tests." "Yep, he can do 1st grade stuff too..." He likes the attention, and thinks the entire office staff are his friends. We've tried to turn it around where he can visit the office when he's behaving properly, but that only worked for a few days.

The counselor and special ed teacher love him to death because they see him as a work in progress. Daily calls from the assistant principal are not fun. They let him sit in the Kinder class for small periods of time, but the administration has told them they can't do that very much because he's not legally their responsibility for Kinder yet, because of age.

All this, and it's not like this child doesn't know how to behave. He's been in school since 16 weeks old. When he was 3 1/2, he got a really bad teacher that was really mean directly to him, and all He!! broke loose. She didn't like that he was really smart and the youngest in the class. She felt he should have been kept back with the younger kids, but the school couldn't do that because he started the "I already know that..." at such a young age. I had to pull him out of that school a week before he turned 4 because it got really bad. Since then, the ODD has become apparent and he's defiant to all adults.

Anyway, too much info, but it is what it is.
As a preschool teacher myself, I can say that, especially at age 3, children should not be "moved up" just because they have a certain amount of knowledge. At that age, the vast majority of kids simply do not have the emotional maturity to skip a year. Preschool is much, much more about learning social skills than it is about learning letters and numbers.

There was a survey done of 100 parents of incoming Kindergartners. It asked them what they wanted their kids to know before entering Kinder. They said things like know all their letter, write their name, etc. They asked 100 Kinder teachers the same thing. Not one of them mentioned any of those things. Instead they said things like wait their turn, sit for a 10 minute story, stand in line, share. Teaching letters and number is easy. It will come. The other stuff, not so easy to teach. You can't teach someone to read if they don't have those basic skills.
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Old 12-27-2015, 11:56 AM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,235,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku View Post
What kind of school are you talking about here though? Kids who are in a high quality play-based environment do better than kids who are in academic centres from an early age or are at home (unless they have good parents who expose them to learning through play). But kids absolutely need to play before 6 or 7 years old, that's how they learn, naturally, not 'sit down and learn'. 2-7 is called the 'play age' in Finnish, not toddlers and preschoolers, just play-age because that's what they're supposed to do.
I can't rep you enough for this. I am a preschool teacher with an Early Childhood Development degree, and I can not tell you how true this is.
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Old 12-27-2015, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,081 posts, read 16,908,498 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
As a preschool teacher myself, I can say that, especially at age 3, children should not be "moved up" just because they have a certain amount of knowledge. At that age, the vast majority of kids simply do not have the emotional maturity to skip a year. Preschool is much, much more about learning social skills than it is about learning letters and numbers.

There was a survey done of 100 parents of incoming Kindergartners. It asked them what they wanted their kids to know before entering Kinder. They said things like know all their letter, write their name, etc. They asked 100 Kinder teachers the same thing. Not one of them mentioned any of those things. Instead they said things like wait their turn, sit for a 10 minute story, stand in line, share. Teaching letters and number is easy. It will come. The other stuff, not so easy to teach. You can't teach someone to read if they don't have those basic skills.
My son didn't "skip" a grade at 3. He was moved along to the different classes just like everyone else, but instead of staying in one class for all of age 2, he was in 2 different classes. Instead of being in 1 class for all of age 3, he was moved up to the next class at 3 1/2. There is nothing wrong with that. He did what was needed, learned what was taught, and moved right along.

As for what Kinder teachers wanted, that survey would never fly in my school district. Even for my child's pre-K class, a list was sent home at Meet the Teacher night, a few days before school started, and it listed all the things the kids needed to learn BEFORE school started. That is PRE-K, not Kinder. Letters, name, counting, scissors, etc... were all on the list.

Teachers might answer a survey one way as a dream world, but that's not reality. It's also a reason why our American kids are so much more "dumbed-down" compared to the rest of the world. When I was in 1st and 2nd, we were doing flash cards. My daughter is in 2nd, and I was told flash cards might start next year in 3rd, but they don't care about memorizing the simple addition tables anymore. It's all about stupid base 10 that won't get them very far in the real world.
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Old 12-27-2015, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Finland
6,319 posts, read 5,230,749 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
I can't rep you enough for this. I am a preschool teacher with an Early Childhood Development degree, and I can not tell you how true this is.
I feel so sad for the kids that are forced into academics too early. Someone I used to chat to a lot online with a kid close in age to mine, put her kid at about 2 years old into a daycare that would make the kids sit at desks and do worksheets, lots of worksheets - at 2 years old! It was all about the academics there, sounded terrible to me but the mum was convinced it would be good.
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Old 12-27-2015, 12:19 PM
 
5,082 posts, read 6,235,389 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
My son didn't "skip" a grade at 3. He was moved along to the different classes just like everyone else, but instead of staying in one class for all of age 2, he was in 2 different classes. Instead of being in 1 class for all of age 3, he was moved up to the next class at 3 1/2. There is nothing wrong with that. He did what was needed, learned what was taught, and moved right along.

As for what Kinder teachers wanted, that survey would never fly in my school district. Even for my child's pre-K class, a list was sent home at Meet the Teacher night, a few days before school started, and it listed all the things the kids needed to learn BEFORE school started. That is PRE-K, not Kinder. Letters, name, counting, scissors, etc... were all on the list.

Teachers might answer a survey one way as a dream world, but that's not reality. It's also a reason why our American kids are so much more "dumbed-down" compared to the rest of the world. When I was in 1st and 2nd, we were doing flash cards. My daughter is in 2nd, and I was told flash cards might start next year in 3rd, but they don't care about memorizing the simple addition tables anymore. It's all about stupid base 10 that won't get them very far in the real world.
We are both on the Austin thread, so I am very familiar with where you live. I live in Steiner and work at a school in Westlake, but I have worked in your school district in the past. All of the Kinder teachers there that I know (all very good, BTW), would absolutely agree with what the survey said. Sadly, the district itself and its admins (many of whom have never been in a classroom themselves) say otherwise, so the teacher's hands are a bit tied.
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Old 12-27-2015, 07:48 PM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,400,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
Teachers might answer a survey one way as a dream world, but that's not reality. It's also a reason why our American kids are so much more "dumbed-down" compared to the rest of the world. When I was in 1st and 2nd, we were doing flash cards. My daughter is in 2nd, and I was told flash cards might start next year in 3rd, but they don't care about memorizing the simple addition tables anymore. It's all about stupid base 10 that won't get them very far in the real world.
This "dumbed-down" rubbish is just that--rubbish. Not remotely grounded in reality. American kids are not doing poorly compared to "the rest of the world" not at all. On certain tests, our students score in the middle of the pack. But that's far from "the rest of the world." In addition, our schools test ALL of our children--we also educate ALL of our children (not just a select group with potential.)

And I hate to have to break this to you: American kids were no smarter when you were in 2nd grade than they are now. American kids were NEVER the top testers in international rankings--as long as these rankings have been kept. Sadly, there was no magical time in American history when we #1 If we appear to have slipped in the rankings, it's simply because more nations have become economically developed and "caught up." It's pretty well understood that kids today are learning more, younger and faster, than in past generations.
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Old 12-27-2015, 08:52 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
Reputation: 23714
Oy! I thought this was a thread about Santas naughty list....
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