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Old 12-18-2015, 06:55 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,025 times
Reputation: 1078

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Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
It's getting out of hand which is why for those who really do want to somethig for the teachers, group/staff gifts can be a great gift. Last year one family who has three kids in the school (unusual at a magnet) bought one of those trays of honey bells oranges. They were delicious, everybody got one (or two in my case since I talked the calc teacher out of his) and they got to be thoughtful to the staff. Individual gifts, even at $5-10 a pop, their kids have 7 teachers each, that would be a large amount of money, the staff gift was much more reasonable choice.

I think part of it, especially with the obvious (like the swim teacher) and extravagant is the parents working out some issues between other parent. Yet another case of the gifts being about the parents and not the teachers.

Oh and our limits are in our school handbook, and our principal reposted it to the top of the school webpage but it gets ignore more often than not.
See, another time that food wins. Food almost always wins, if you pick wisely. That would be something I would pick. (I don't like to promote sweets or processed foods, if I can avoid it. My own personal values creeping in, but I also think they likely already have too much of that in the break room and are sick of it at some point.)

Yeah, I don't think many people read the handbook (I do, because I'm neurotic for following rules), let alone a section that does not involve them directly (like late policy, snow closures, etc)
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:00 PM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,184,034 times
Reputation: 19646
Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
We didn't here either, but I grew up in a very poor part of town. I wonder if this happens more in the wealthier areas. My son is still young, so I can't speak from experience. How about those ultra wealthy in private schools? My cousin attends a high school that costs more than my entire college tuition. If I were a teacher, I can't imagine you could pay me enough to deal with the entitlement that must be floating around those halls.
The school I teach in a public academy, so definitely not a private school but I did got to a northeast prep school for a good chunk of my own high school career, and students did not give teachers gifts there. It would have been seen as "overly familiar". Our house parent (the housemistress) though, who was usually a faculty member, would get presents but that was partly because some unlucky kids had to stay over Christmas each year and they would do the presents exchange as a group on Christmas morning.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:06 PM
 
4,947 posts, read 2,568,683 times
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OP: Would you give Christmas gift to a teacher you don't like?"

No.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:09 PM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,184,034 times
Reputation: 19646
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Clearly you work in a very affluent school, get paid well and teach not so cute kids. I'd never gift a highschool teacher unless they did something amazing. Even then, not likely.

Come on, you jumped on a thread about little kids in school with a jaded high school outlook. Yep, when my kids are little...gift giving is about them. I may not love the ugly frame they pick out for my birthday, but I will proudly display it and thank them in spades. You don't work with (or have?) little ones. I don't expect you to understand.
Your level of assumption is astounding.

I have worked in two schools, one an Abbott district with kids from very low socioeconomic backgrounds, and I worked with kids much younger. And now a public county wide academy. My opinion for both is unchanged.

And while the mean income in my current school maybe above average we have students from every socioeconomic status, including kids who cannot afford any gifts (yet another reason to ditch individual gifts). Neither of which says anything about my income, but which you seem to have felt the need to I ply has some bearing on whether or not I should venture my opinion as a teacher.

Go ahead teach your child that gift giving is about them. There is no reason to teach them to think of others first, certainly not while giving a gift.

For the rest of the parents in this thread who were being thoughtful to the teachers in soliciting our opinions. Thank you it is appreciated. Happy holidays.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:09 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,500,984 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GiGi603 View Post
OP: Would you give Christmas gift to a teacher you don't like?"

No.
Yes.

But I can't help it. "Housemistress"?
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:11 PM
 
15,758 posts, read 13,184,034 times
Reputation: 19646
Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
See, another time that food wins. Food almost always wins, if you pick wisely. That would be something I would pick. (I don't like to promote sweets or processed foods, if I can avoid it. My own personal values creeping in, but I also think they likely already have too much of that in the break room and are sick of it at some point.)

Yeah, I don't think many people read the handbook (I do, because I'm neurotic for following rules), let alone a section that does not involve them directly (like late policy, snow closures, etc)
Now to go completely off the tracks I had never had honey bells before and they were amazing. The only gift that was fought over more was homemade toffee from a student (really his mom)who graduated in 2011. We all were sad to see him go, he was an amazing kid, but we may still occasionally sigh wistfully over the tray of toffee his mom used to leave in the staff room.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:13 PM
 
Location: here
24,472 posts, read 28,750,429 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
We never once asked that you send a freaking thank you card. Not once. Not needed, not expected. Maybe if my kids do get a gift for their teacher I should include a note saying that. Or maybe if they are so tacky as to be bothered by little kids making or buying them gifts, they should come right out and say not to.
Someone in a position of teaching kids is likely to send a thank you note. It sets a good example. They never asked for a gift either. "not needed, not expected," yet you absolutely insist that we all must give one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Some one asked if they have to give teachers presents. So since we were ASKED we volunteered our opinions. You are the one calling names and acting unbecomingly. Of course we say thank you, most of us spend hours and hours writing out and sending thank you cards because we do appreciate the thoughts of our students and want them to learn good manners. But as their parents you could also teach them that giving is first and foremost about the recipient and not about the giver. I am glad you get the warm fuzzies over your children giving their teachers hours of additional work but its not about you.


Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Yes! That's when you should bring it up. When you have the parents attention without the kids there. "Our school does not accept gifts...instead, if you feel the desire, please donate to our book drive (or what ever)". Not tacky. Complaining about an adorable little one buying you a gift is tacky. Being upfront with parents is good policy.
Expressing an opinion in an anonymous forum doesn't mean they tell the kid and parents that they didn't want or don't appreciate the gift!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Honestly, if you feel you must write thank you notes (trust me, you don't. No one is sitting by the mail box waiting for one), and it's such a hardship...mass produce them.

No. One. Cares.
You are so sure that no one cares about thank you notes, yet after multiple teachers have come to this thread and said they don't want gifts, you insist that we should still buy them. Why is this such a big deal to you? If you want to send a gift, go ahead. That doesn't mean I have to. I have the insight to see that the gifts are often a waste of time and money. A personal note of appreciation is perfectly acceptable and probably more appreciated.
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:16 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,500,984 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Your level of assumption is astounding.

I have worked in two schools, one an Abbott district with kids from very low socioeconomic backgrounds, and I worked with kids much younger. And now a public county wide academy. My opinion for both is unchanged.

And while the mean income in my current school maybe above average we have students from every socioeconomic status, including kids who cannot afford any gifts (yet another reason to ditch individual gifts). Neither of which says anything about my income, but which you seem to have felt the need to I ply has some bearing on whether or not I should venture my opinion as a teacher.

Go ahead teach your child that gift giving is about them. There is no reason to teach them to think of others first, certainly not while giving a gift.

For the rest of the parents in this thread who were being thoughtful to the teachers in soliciting our opinions. Thank you it is appreciated. Happy holidays.
Keep saying it. Just go ahead. My kids think their teachers want a gift. And unless they tell me they don't (so I can pass that info on to my kids), my kids are going to strongly believe that their teachers want a gift. Because, in their innocent unjaded world, who wouldn't?

I don't know what other people do. I'm not them. I coach my kids to think hard about their teachers, pick up on cues and then choose a gift that really suits their teachers. Same as I do for all the gifts they buy throughout the year.

Maybe all teachers are big freaking liars. But I always get the impression that, for this year, they are also invested in my child and care about them. So I would expect they would appreciate a gift chosen from my child's heart. Be it hand made or something my kid thinks they would like.

I'm not convinced that most teachers don't feel this way. I think a few are quite jaded and vocal. But still...I kind of want to stop the kids from getting their teachers gifts from now on.

Last edited by HighFlyingBird; 12-18-2015 at 07:28 PM..
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:25 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,025 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by lkb0714 View Post
Now to go completely off the tracks I had never had honey bells before and they were amazing. The only gift that was fought over more was homemade toffee from a student (really his mom)who graduated in 2011. We all were sad to see him go, he was an amazing kid, but we may still occasionally sigh wistfully over the tray of toffee his mom used to leave in the staff room.
lol!!! See, 'yes' to the food gifts. That must have been some toffee.

(OP, give a gift and make it food [or a gift card]. That's what I've been saying all along. lol)
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Old 12-18-2015, 07:33 PM
 
Location: interior Alaska
3,980 posts, read 2,969,746 times
Reputation: 11852
My work takes me to a number of campuses. Out of curiosity, I've been asking teachers/staff what they actually enjoy. Big winners were food (particularly the homemade preserves and honey many families here make and gift) and classroom supplies. Cards/notes also.

Big thumbs down to tchotchkes...general view seemed to be "I appreciate the sentiment, but..."

So, no big surprises there.
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