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Old 12-18-2015, 08:49 AM
 
1,446 posts, read 1,179,136 times
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I'm not a teacher. But the shift from "I want to show my appreciation" to "you selfish jerk, you'll take what I give you and LIKE IT!" seems over the top to me. I think a card and an Amazon GC would be thoughtful. Especially considering how much of their own money they spend on school supplies.

And you did say you wish teachers would tell you they dont want a gift. You can't lash out at people for doing what you asked them to do.
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Old 12-18-2015, 08:50 AM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,527 posts, read 16,017,438 times
Reputation: 38999
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
You know what? You teachers who poopoo gifts from your students are ungrateful jerks! They love you. They think of you as an important people in their lives. They love Christmas and want to include you in their lives.

You don't have to keep it. Frame it. Or even write a freaking thank you card. Just be the person our kids think you are. Be gracious. Not greedy. Be kind, not grinchy. Enjoy that your student (or their parent)thinks well enough to add you to their gift list.

Good lord. Some people.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
You're really worked up over nothing. I never, ever, heard of a teacher being anything but gracious over the gifts they received, no matter how repetitive they are. Public tantrum? Please. What teachers have said here is no more public than your responses.

IF you are going to buy a gift for the teachers, then why not put a little thought into it? It's just as easy to buy pencils, paper and markers as it is to buy a mug. A teacher with 20 students a year over a career lasting 20 yrs or more, has enough, I promise you.


I think that the teachers who said that they did not want gifts were basically saying that they did not want gifts that were "obligations" or "forced" or "coerced" gifts. Gifts from the heart are always OK.


There is also a difference between a young child, perhaps in kindergarten or 1st grade, wanting to give a small gift to their beloved teacher and at the HS level. HS teachers may have 150 or more students each semester and the relationship between the teacher & students at that level is more formal. An elementary music, art or physical education teacher may have 300 or 400 or 500 students each year, again that is a lot different than a kindergarten teacher with 18 or 20 or 25 students. So just because some teachers say that they do not want gifts it does not mean that all teachers do not appreciate the thought and caring behind small, simple gifts from the heart.


I taught little kids and the most special gifts were the gifts that the children decided to make or buy for me themselves, or the thank you note that a parent wrote about the extra time & effort that I spent with their child. Over the years I had a number of parents write detailed letters to my bosses singing my praises, to be put in my personnel file. Wow! I can still remember each and every of those letters and each and every of those children and parents.


Just a few weeks ago I received a call from the parent of a extremely challenging & complex student that I had in my class for three years before they moved out of state six years ago. They said that their child was doing very well in school and they felt that it was mainly because of the strong start that they made in my Early Childhood Special Education classroom and because of all of the extra effort that I did with him and the entire family. Now, that was the most wonderful Christmas present of all.

Last edited by germaine2626; 12-18-2015 at 09:36 AM..
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Old 12-18-2015, 01:04 PM
 
4,586 posts, read 4,426,754 times
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Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
Or is it all about YOU? It seems to be really important for you to be able to give a gift whether the receiver wants it or not. It isn't a gift if the teacher then has to figure out a way to dispose of it. You aren't really thinking of the teacher, you are thinking of yourself and your kid. That's not the right reason to give a gift. I think a simple card thanking them for all they do is just as meaningful, if not more meaningful, and it doesn't cost them a trip to goodwill. Some people is right
I know, it must be really hard to find a Goodwill truck!
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Old 12-18-2015, 01:28 PM
 
Location: here
24,479 posts, read 28,815,809 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
I doubt that. Sure, I know it happens sometimes, but I think it's more likely is that moms feel pressured by other moms and cough up the money.
Yes. When there are gifts, they are from me, not my kids.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotoProIP View Post
I know, it must be really hard to find a Goodwill truck!
Not.the.point.
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Old 12-18-2015, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 595,211 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Last time we gave an edible gift the teacher was diabetic and couldn't eat it.
I think it's telling that so many people are assuming that edible gifts have to be cookies or candy.
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Old 12-18-2015, 01:42 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 595,211 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by sealie View Post
I'm not a teacher. But the shift from "I want to show my appreciation" to "you selfish jerk, you'll take what I give you and LIKE IT!" seems over the top to me. I think a card and an Amazon GC would be thoughtful. Especially considering how much of their own money they spend on school supplies.

And you did say you wish teachers would tell you they dont want a gift. You can't lash out at people for doing what you asked them to do.
Exactly. Agreed. That's why I give the gifts I do.
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Old 12-18-2015, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
85,052 posts, read 99,018,950 times
Reputation: 31544
Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
I think it's telling that so many people are assuming that edible gifts have to be cookies or candy.
Well, seriously, what do you suggest? The gift generally has to be something non-perishable, which leaves out fresh fruit, veggies, meats, etc. Diabetic diets are not as strict these days as they used to be; most diabetics can eat A cookie, A piece of candy, etc. Fruit raises one's blood sugar was well.

With all the dietary restrictions people have imposed on themselves lately (gluten-free, dairy-free, etc w/o a medical reason), it's probably better not to give food at all.
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Old 12-18-2015, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Texas
599 posts, read 478,529 times
Reputation: 1815
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I put a tray of cookies in the break room this year instead of giving gifts to their specific teachers. I do truly appreciate what teachers do, and I let them know that, but there are other ways to show it than giving Christmas gifts. If everyone gives cookies or candy, every teacher would weigh 300 lbs. I noticed a teacher regifting ornaments one year. I'm sure they appreciate the thought, but they don't need more stuff.

I have given gifts in the past, but I wouldn't donate $25 for a teacher I didn't even like.

I will say it was always a good day when I walked into the teacher workroom and saw treats on the share table. We all loved it.
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Old 12-18-2015, 03:02 PM
 
Location: Texas
599 posts, read 478,529 times
Reputation: 1815
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
You know what? You teachers who poopoo gifts from your students are ungrateful jerks! They love you. They think of you as an important people in their lives. They love Christmas and want to include you in their lives.

You don't have to keep it. Frame it. Or even write a freaking thank you card. Just be the person our kids think you are. Be gracious. Not greedy. Be kind, not grinchy. Enjoy that your student (or their parent)thinks well enough to add you to their gift list.

Good lord. Some people.
The OP asked a very specific question about whether or not she should gift or not to a teacher that neither she nor her pre-k child didn't particularly like.

Most teachers said no because we don't expect gifts and also don't feel slighted if a student doesn't gift during christmas. It's a no harm no foul situation.

Which teacher said they didn't appreciate gifts? What we said was that the most memorable ones are personal notes from the parent or student and that gifts are not necessary.

And full disclosure, although I appreciated the thought, let's not act like every gift given are thoughtful. I can guarantee you that the majority of the gifts that I have received the 2 years that I taught 7th grade (that were not thank you notes or edible treats) were given by parents who felt a sense of obligation toward gift giving. And to those parents, we teachers are saying, "no worries, don't worry about giving us gifts, save your money, it's ok, etc."
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Old 12-18-2015, 03:19 PM
 
Location: here
24,479 posts, read 28,815,809 times
Reputation: 31062
Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
I think it's telling that so many people are assuming that edible gifts have to be cookies or candy.
Telling? What does it tell?
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