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Old 12-19-2015, 08:25 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
61 posts, read 39,293 times
Reputation: 76

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I did put a post on here 2 months ago talking about my boyfriend's son acting like a mooching freeloader. I made a decision not to buy any Christmas gifts for him. I feel that he took advantage of my kindness when I let him stay at my home couple months ago. He let his girlfriend stay there without paying rent and didn't clean up his dirty mess. I was done with him after he stole the van to drive it for himself which was in my name. I did ask for my van plate back. He gave it back to me and I gave him the car title. He got the van title in his name and get car insurance on his own without help from me. I made it clear to his dad that I wasn't interested to help his son out anymore after the van situation. He told his son. I am glad that I did put my foot down and told him that I am not that person he can't use for an ATM bank while he get a paycheck. My relationship with his dad had gotten better. His dad did accept that it was not a good idea to let his grown 29 year old adult son to live with us. We are best friends again and get along with respect. I told my friends that his son already got his Christmas gift: the van. He won't get anything else from me again. They told me that I should have a heart for Christmas and forgive him. I do forgive him for what he did to me but I can't help him out anymore. It would put me in debt that I can't afford to be in. My money had been much better after his son moved out. I am able to save money and buy Christmas gifts for my family.

Last edited by Petitegal74; 12-19-2015 at 08:26 AM.. Reason: Wrong words
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma USA
1,196 posts, read 782,667 times
Reputation: 4387
The only thing you need to give him is a whole lot of distance, and firm, clear boundaries.
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:30 AM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,495,844 times
Reputation: 23714
That is weird they think you should buy him a gift...a full grown adult, who mooches off you and you gave a van to.
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma USA
1,196 posts, read 782,667 times
Reputation: 4387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petitegal74 View Post
I was done with him after he stole the van to drive it for himself which was in my name. I did ask for my van plate back. He gave it back to me and I gave him the car title..


I'm still wondering why on earth one would not report a stolen vehicle as stolen, 'forgive' thief, then give the vehicle to the thief, much less ponder if she should give him an additional gift.
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:41 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
61 posts, read 39,293 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodmockingbird View Post
The only thing you need to give him is a whole lot of distance, and firm, clear boundaries.
I have been putting a whole lot of distance from his son. I don't want to be around someone that don't show me respect. I made my boundaries clear after I got my van plate back. I haven't talk to him or help him out again.
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:52 AM
 
536 posts, read 525,818 times
Reputation: 946
Something odd about this. Why did you give him the van plates if you feel that he stole the van? And why would his father not step in in that situation? Although it was in your name, did his Dad pay for the car originally? Not that it makes it better, but it does change it slightly.
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
61 posts, read 39,293 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by goodmockingbird View Post


I'm still wondering why on earth one would not report a stolen vehicle as stolen, 'forgive' thief, then give the vehicle to the thief, much less ponder if she should give him an additional gift.
I was going to report it stolen to the police and make him return it. I want to put the van in his dad name so that he can drive it but his dad said to let his son have it. I made a decision to give up the van and told his son to move out. I was at my breaking point. He did move out but left his clothes. I will take his clothes to Goodwill if he don't get it by March when I do my spring cleaning.
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Old 12-19-2015, 08:55 AM
 
32,538 posts, read 29,333,321 times
Reputation: 32238
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petitegal74 View Post
It would put me in debt that I can't afford to be in.
Do NOT do it. Especially for someone who stole a vehicle from you. Don't let anyone guilt you into buying a gift for a car thief. That's just nuts.
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Old 12-19-2015, 09:07 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma USA
1,196 posts, read 782,667 times
Reputation: 4387
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petitegal74 View Post
I was going to report it stolen to the police and make him return it. I want to put the van in his dad name so that he can drive it but his dad said to let his son have it. I made a decision to give up the van and told his son to move out. I was at my breaking point. He did move out but left his clothes. I will take his clothes to Goodwill if he don't get it by March when I do my spring cleaning.
So the thief's dad -- your boyfriend -- not only told you to let the son get away with the theft, but told you to outright give the van to the thief???

I can understand a father not wanting you to press charges, but telling you to give the stolen van to the thief?

That ain't right!

Anyway, is the 29 year old 'kid' living in the van? Is that what it took to get him moved out of your house?

That man-child needs to be nowhere near you or your property. And I'd make that plain point-blank clear to him, his dad, and anybody else involved.
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Old 12-19-2015, 09:11 AM
 
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
61 posts, read 39,293 times
Reputation: 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cloudwalker View Post
Something odd about this. Why did you give him the van plates if you feel that he stole the van? And why would his father not step in in that situation? Although it was in your name, did his Dad pay for the car originally? Not that it makes it better, but it does change it slightly.
Yes his dad paid for the van but put it in my name cause I can pay cheaper car insurance with a good driving record. Yes his dad did step in and told his son that my name was on the van title. He told him to return it. He had to tell him for about a month. His son still didn't listen. We didn't know where he had the van at. I found out that he got his job transfer in the same town where we live. I step in and send him a text telling him that I will bring the police to his job to get the van. He got mad and return the van. The van was in my driveway until it got transferred to his name. It took about another month to get it transferred. I was smart to take the plate off cause I knew that he wouldn't able to drive it. I told his dad that if he ever tried to do that to my Nissan car (car payment), I will go the police right away knowing that it is on my only vehicle I have.
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