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I'm 22 and 6 weeks pregnant with my 1st child so I may not know what I'm talking about yet...but I feel like parents who don't allow their children to interact with other people are just plain selfish. This woman at church-well I think she's only 18 or 19-has a 7 month old son. My younger cousin and her are in a bible studies class together so we are somewhat aquaintances.
Anyway this evening the church was exhibiting a live nativity and this girl and her baby were to portray Mary and Jesus. She had him lying in the pew while she was preparing her costume. I went over to say hi and started talking to her about him, then when I asked, "Mind if I hold him for a second?" she acts like I just asked to formally adopt her baby! "No!" and scoops him up into her arms immediately. Then she's all like, "he gets fussy"
It's not like I'm some creepy old man who approached her in an alley demanding access to her kid. She just didn't think her child should be held by anyone else...and I've seen other parents do this all the time. Some even refuse to let the child bond with his/her relatives! It seems like a control thing to me, or they use the excuse that the baby doesn't do well with strangers and entertain that by isolating him/her. Then that child grows up to by the type who hides behind your leg when you have company and clings to you at kindergarten dropoff.
I am quite certain that for the first few months or so I will be in new mom panic mode, but for my baby's sake I will have to overcome that. As much as the baby is mine, he/she will have to go out into the world one day and deal with people other than me. I also hate it when people use the baby as bait, ie. me at age 13 holding my new stepmother's 4 m/o who is crying like 4 m/os do....and according to stepmother her special snowflake must not like me.
Before you say its their child and they can do as they please, of course they can. Doesn't make it healthy for the child.
Don't ask random people to hold their babies. It's uncomfortable. In a few months, you will understand.
Yeah, I would not have asked had she been some random person in a grocery store. We go to church together and it's not uncommon for families to hold/play with the kids and babies. I'd be less concerned if he was still a newborn.
To add more, everyone on earth seemed to want to hold and touch my son when he was a baby. It was not the same with my daughter by a long shot.
But he didn't really like other people holding him. It caused distress. Then you add in viruses, weirdos, and just interruptions. No, I'm sorry. My child isn't here to bless those around him. No, I don't enjoy watching him stressed out while a stranger held him. It wasn't being selfish. It was about keeping my baby comfortable.
You'll understand once your baby is born. You just don't know how clean a random stranger is. It doesn't have anything to do with how your child does at kindergarten dropoff. And most kids will go through shy stages, no matter how much interaction they've had with other people.
To add more, everyone on earth seemed to want to hold and touch my son when he was a baby. It was not the same with my daughter by a long shot.
But he didn't really like other people holding him. It caused distress. Then you add in viruses, weirdos, and just interruptions. No, I'm sorry. My child isn't here to bless those around him. No, I don't enjoy watching him stressed out while a stranger held him. It wasn't being selfish. It was about keeping my baby comfortable.
We had that issue with my oldest, everyone wanted to touch her. Where I live it's because of the superstition about the evil eye, that if you admire a baby, you have to touch the baby to keep it safe from the evil eye. It's easier with a winter baby because you can keep them mostly covered up.
We had that issue with my oldest, everyone wanted to touch her. Where I live it's because of the superstition about the evil eye, that if you admire a baby, you have to touch the baby to keep it safe from the evil eye. It's easier with a winter baby because you can keep them mostly covered up.
Hispanic?
We ran into that a lot. But more so, he was just a very lovely little guy. I was told more then once he strongly resembled saints that were worshiped. He is Mayan, so I'm sure that is where that came from. His features are very, very Mayan.
People wanted to hold him, touch him, bless him and...seriously, even ask him for advice or fortunes.
I was too lax and as a direct result, he is very standoffish with strangers. I wish I had done better.
My daughter is also Hispanic. Very pretty. But no one seemed to treat her that way. She was nearly invisible.
To clarify, I didn't mean selfish as in selfish towards the person wanting to hold your baby, I meant selfish as in teaching your child to be afraid of everything/one. For instance, my mom always talks about how I was afraid of bubble gum as a toddler. So what did she do? She blew bubbles and let me pop them. At first of course I flipped, but after a few times I got used to it and stopped fearing something so irrational. Just like when I worked as a character mascot, the kids who's parents validated their fear of the giant monkey remained afraid. The one's who were brought up to me got over it pretty quickly.
PS The church lady was just an example of a bigger issue.
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