U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-25-2015, 11:06 AM
 
1,614 posts, read 1,125,059 times
Reputation: 2635

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by bela View Post
Perhaps in this case, it is cultural.... or so the comments seem to suggest, but I have a 7 month old baby girl that has very long wavy hair that is shaped as if she just stepped out of a salon. Im used to the attention from strangers but 2 weeks ago, we were getting her shots at the clinic, and some doctor walked up to me and said, "I just want you to know your daughter is "flirting with me", he ran his fingers thru her hair in a way that gave me the creeps, and left, only to appear again 3 minutes later saying, he thinks my daughter has a thing for gray haired silver foxes.... he then offers her his thumb and says "Id bet you would love that in your mouth wouldnt you? at that point, I "sent him away".
My neighbors think I was probably "oversensitive".
My wife took her in later, and this same guy same flirt, same creepyness.
You go mom, wouldn't want him around my child either. We have gotten away from absolutes in our nation and one is to leave your mitts off others whether their big or little. Smile at someone's child,give a little wave them get away. It can't be that important to you that your child is admired by others,don't forget folks pedophiles think your child is cute too. When coming to our country some of your culture needs to stay behind where it belongs and that's touching without permission.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-25-2015, 11:09 AM
 
404 posts, read 248,430 times
Reputation: 371
Quote:
Originally Posted by luv my dayton View Post
You go mom, wouldn't want him around my child either. We have gotten away from absolutes in our nation and one is to leave your mitts off others whether their big or little. Smile at someone's child,give a little wave them get away. It can't be that important to you that your child is admired by others,don't forget folks pedophiles think your child is cute too. When coming to our country some of your culture needs to stay behind where it belongs and that's touching without permission.
Who are you to saying that someones culture needs to stay behind? Just because your ancestors did it and now you don't have one, doesn't mean we all have to.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 11:13 AM
 
Location: Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico
854 posts, read 758,582 times
Reputation: 1359
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
I wouldn't be OK with it. Were you in Central or South America? If so, their culture would prevail but you would think that they would respect someone that was not a part of their culture.



Yes, but you were in Central America. Was the OP in Central America? If not, I think this would be inappropriate. I don't believe in forcing your customs on others. I also don't like strangers touching my dogs or kids. You don't know where their hands were last.

I think it is weird. If it happens in their country fine. Had she done it to my child, she would probably think twice before doing it to someone else.
I think you are projecting yourself too much in this. If a ''bad/dirty'' person would want to harm your children, they wont do it in front of you, think.
I most cases when that happen is because a baby/child is utterly adorable so I'd take it as compliment, not the opposite.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 11:22 AM
 
Location: Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico
854 posts, read 758,582 times
Reputation: 1359
Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
Humans have an instinct to take care of the children of strangers. If a stranger picks up your child and hugs it or any such behavior as that, they're only following their instinct. 100,000 years ago, or some such time, most children didn't grow up, and those who did grow up were usually orphans. Without the instinct for strangers to take care of the children of strangers, the human race would probably be extinct. So the next time you see that kind of bizarre behavior, you should thank your lucky stars, because without the instinct that drives that behavior, you probably wouldn't be here.

And all those who complain about germs should take into account that children exposed to more germs when young tend to grow up healthier. The ones most likely to be sickly are the ones whose parents are obsessed with avoiding germs.
Wow, I was about to write something similar in a less clear way, thank you for getting it just right. I wish I could rep you more.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 11:34 AM
 
1,614 posts, read 1,125,059 times
Reputation: 2635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Down in a Hole View Post
Who are you to saying that someones culture needs to stay behind? Just because your ancestors did it and now you don't have one, doesn't mean we all have to.
Read what I said,leave the touching without permission somewhere else. Not unless your into that kind of stuff yourself. Most of us aren't.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 03:27 PM
 
70 posts, read 56,243 times
Reputation: 80
You dont know a strangers motives,Culture takes a back seat to that person's right to touch the child of someone they dont know in any case. Is protecting your own child now another victim of political correctness?

Vladimir Putin revealed a strange Russian custom of raising an unknown child's shirt and kissing his bare stomach, and In a particular south east Asian country I just returned from, in the provinces, they actually kiss bare genitals of children..... but "affectionately" i'm told.

If you took your dog out in public, and someone approached without permission, ending up bitten, you would be legally liable.

Id rather risk hurting the feelings of a person who probably meant no harm, than open the door for someone who meant nothing but harm.

Last edited by bela; 12-25-2015 at 03:44 PM.. Reason: typo
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 03:43 PM
 
70 posts, read 56,243 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by eok View Post
Humans have an instinct to take care of the children of strangers. If a stranger picks up your child and hugs it or any such behavior as that, they're only following their instinct. 100,000 years ago, or some such time, most children didn't grow up, and those who did grow up were usually orphans. Without the instinct for strangers to take care of the children of strangers, the human race would probably be extinct. So the next time you see that kind of bizarre behavior, you should thank your lucky stars, because without the instinct that drives that behavior, you probably wouldn't be here.

And all those who complain about germs should take into account that children exposed to more germs when young tend to grow up healthier. The ones most likely to be sickly are the ones whose parents are obsessed with avoiding germs.
Funny, but everytime I look up, Im seeing humans who have an instinct to take the children of strangers, molest them, and leave them dismembered, or wrapped with electric tape, or buried in the back yard. sometimes stuffed into a suitcase. Perhaps you have heard of them? The courts call them sexual offenders and our neighborhoods are teeming with them.

So before some knucklehead brings up the point of "Paranoia" because knuckleheads do that, no one has a right to touch another's child without permission, nor does anyone have the right to attempt to shame someone in to allowing it.

I cant imagine the guilt one would feel if they ignored that little voice warning them prior to a child being harmed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 04:00 PM
 
9,292 posts, read 5,794,856 times
Reputation: 7547
"Strange lady ran her hands through my boys hair. Please tell me how would you feel/react to this situation."

It's a compliment, I wouldn't worry about it. If you are concerned about germs, put a hat on them or wear them in a sling.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 04:19 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
Reputation: 23714
I would actually like to see how people who are so "don't you dare touch my children" would actually react if they lived in a community where it is common to happen. Or even if it happened where they are. Because it isn't remotely done with malice. Its done with a great big smile and a lot of love and affection. Would you really start yelling at the person? Get away from my child? I doubt it. I think it sounds strange, but when you are living in a community where that happens, it really isn't all that strange. Or if you have a child who attracts a lot of admirers. When its actually happening, its non-threatening. They aren't touching mouths or noses. They aren't coming off as aggressive or hostile. Its a very warm smile and a light little touch. And you can tell right away that it is coming from a place of love. Do you really yell at them or...fling your body between your child and the stranger? Id be surprised if even 1/4 of the "don't touch my child" group would actually follow through in the *actual* situation that we are discussing. Even the OP didn't do anything besides ask his wife and post about it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-25-2015, 05:50 PM
 
70 posts, read 56,243 times
Reputation: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
I would actually like to see how people who are so "don't you dare touch my children" would actually react if they lived in a community where it is common to happen. Or even if it happened where they are. Because it isn't remotely done with malice. Its done with a great big smile and a lot of love and affection. Would you really start yelling at the person? Get away from my child? I doubt it. I think it sounds strange, but when you are living in a community where that happens, it really isn't all that strange. Or if you have a child who attracts a lot of admirers. When its actually happening, its non-threatening. They aren't touching mouths or noses. They aren't coming off as aggressive or hostile. Its a very warm smile and a light little touch. And you can tell right away that it is coming from a place of love. Do you really yell at them or...fling your body between your child and the stranger? Id be surprised if even 1/4 of the "don't touch my child" group would actually follow through in the *actual* situation that we are discussing. Even the OP didn't do anything besides ask his wife and post about it.
This reminds me a lot of those people who end up saying things like... "we didnt know he was liked that", or "they seemed like such kind people", or "that kind of thing only happens on tv or the big city", or "he seemed so non threatening". "our town is the kind of place where nobody locks their doors". etc etc ... usually being interviewed with alot of yellow tape in the background.

To the OP, protecting your child is not a consensus issue, and no one here has any skin in the game of defending your child. no one here is sharing your risk. All the talk of culture germs and feelings is B.S.

If you respond lower than your instinctive risk assessment, then you did not do your job in protecting your child. If your spider senses tell you to intervene, then do so.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top