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Old 12-22-2015, 08:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kcatheart View Post
Thank you for the reply and I know the meaning behind the gesture which is nice but not to be anal or anything, we don't know what germs or what not this stranger has. Maybe I am being anal. My boys are almost 2 and 8 months. So they are very young.
Yes you are being anal.
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Old 12-22-2015, 08:51 PM
 
Location: In a vehicle.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kcatheart View Post
Hi all,

An interesting thing happened when I was at target the other day.

Please tell me how/what you would have done in this instant.

I was with my wife and boys at target. My wife was waiting for some coffee at the Starbucks they have in the target and my boys and I were waiting for her. They were in their strollers with me. A lady( Hispanic, that will be of relevance later) while walking out of the store passed me then my boys and ran her hand through their hair. We don't know the lady at all. When I say ran her hands, I'm not saying just touched their head but ran, like carressing, their hair. I saw it and was in a little bit of shock like did that just happened. I called out to my wife, who is Hispanic, and let her know what happened. She saw the lady and just shook it off and later explained to me that in the Hispanic culture, they do that sometimes with young kids to wave off evil spirits.

I don't know how to feel about that. What would you say/ do? Thank you.


I had the same thing happen when I was 13. I had thick dark red hair...Why females wanted to do that blew me away and...(No, better shut up now)....

I told my Mother about that, she just smiled and laughed....
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:15 PM
 
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A lot of posters say this was a cultural thing, and it probably was in the OP's case, but at times it's an issue with manners. I had the same thing happen to my African American daughter when she was a baby and it was always a white woman who did it. Maybe they didn't know any better or mean any harm, but it infuriated me. I didn't appreciate my child being treated like somebody's pet and was frankly astonished that people felt it was okay to put their hands, uninvited, on someone's child. It didn't seem to me like a gesture of "oh what a cute baby," it seemed more like "I've always wondered what a black person's hair feels like, let me touch this baby's hair and see." Completely rude.
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:25 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,537,447 times
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Originally Posted by Disgustedman View Post
I had the same thing happen when I was 13. I had thick dark red hair...Why females wanted to do that blew me away and...(No, better shut up now)....

I told my Mother about that, she just smiled and laughed....
My grandmother was a witch (not for real, but something that rhymes with it) and she had been engaged to a red head. It didn't work out. She taught me they were evil from a very young age. Every red head on earth. It's funny because I know she was full of crap. But still I have a very weird caution around people with red hair. I know it isn't logical...but it's funny what people can do to a small child's mind.
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by AnnaNomus View Post
A lot of posters say this was a cultural thing, and it probably was in the OP's case, but at times it's an issue with manners. I had the same thing happen to my African American daughter when she was a baby and it was always a white woman who did it. Maybe they didn't know any better or mean any harm, but it infuriated me. I didn't appreciate my child being treated like somebody's pet and was frankly astonished that people felt it was okay to put their hands, uninvited, on someone's child. It didn't seem to me like a gesture of "oh what a cute baby," it seemed more like "I've always wondered what a black person's hair feels like, let me touch this baby's hair and see." Completely rude.
That would have really bothered me. I could totally see it happening. It's different the a person blessing a child though. Just the heart of it.
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Old 12-22-2015, 09:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kcatheart View Post
I don't know how to feel about that. What would you say/ do? Thank you.

Nothing. What's the problem?
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Old 12-22-2015, 10:01 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 596,063 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kcatheart View Post
Thank you for the reply and I know the meaning behind the gesture which is nice but not to be anal or anything, we don't know what germs or what not this stranger has. Maybe I am being anal. My boys are almost 2 and 8 months. So they are very young.
Oh my, no no. I feel the same as you. I do not like people touching my son and I don't allow my father to touch people's kids (he likes to pat them on the head or pull their pony tail -- he's a big kid and will try to get them to smile when they are throwing tantrums in stores, etc but I tell him I would be upset if someone touched my kid so he should rethink the head pats). But caressing the head from this woman is taking it to a whole new level. Nope. No. No, thank you.

Although, I will admit I am a toucher (not with kids, because I understand boundaries), but when I talk I tend to touch an arm or hand of an adult. I do it less as I get older. And I did accidentally kiss a stranger's baby on the cheek in an airport, but I have a good explanation. lol
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Old 12-22-2015, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Maryland
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Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
Take it as a compliment. It usually is because they think the child is very attractive. My daughter was a cute little one but she didn't have the features that tend to be attractive to Hispanic cultures. She was quite thin, which I think was a big part of that. She got very little attention like this compared to my son who fit better the "ideal" of a cute baby. He also smiled at people quite a bit and had a "happy face".
See, I come from a different place. I don't really care what the intention was. It was a stranger with their hands on my child. I don't like strangers touching my child (especially his curly hair after I finally got it right lol!). I am also a nut about germs and cautions with my son.

How could you possibly know that was this stranger's intentions? It's an assumption based on her perceived background (which may be true), but she could have also easily been a nutjob with dirty hands. :| What if it were a black man that did it? Would those okay with it still be okay with it? How about an Irish woman? What if she had not washed her hands after using the bathroom last?

Either way, no one touches my son. Meh.
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Old 12-22-2015, 10:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UserName14289 View Post
See, I come from a different place. I don't really care what the intention was. It was a stranger with their hands on my child. I don't like strangers touching my child (especially his curly hair after I finally got it right lol!). I am also a nut about germs and cautions with my son.

How could you possibly know that was this stranger's intentions? It's an assumption based on her perceived background (which may be true), but she could have also easily been a nutjob with dirty hands. :| What if it were a black man that did it? Would those okay with it still be okay with it? How about an Irish woman? What if she had not washed her hands after using the bathroom last?

Either way, no one touches my son. Meh.
Any idea how many germs are on your average shopping cart? Tons! Research it. So maybe you should just avoid stores in general.
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Old 12-22-2015, 10:24 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 596,063 times
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Originally Posted by ellemint View Post
Any idea how many germs are on your average shopping cart? Tons! Research it. So maybe you should just avoid stores in general.
Ironically, I do most of my shopping online and I do clean my carts before touching the handle. Yes, it was especially ironic when I was in nursing school, considering all the germs in hospitals. But thank you for the warning.

The two are different. One is voluntary. The other is crossing boundaries and forcing something on someone else.
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