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I wouldn't be OK with it. Were you in Central or South America? If so, their culture would prevail but you would think that they would respect someone that was not a part of their culture.
Yes, but you were in Central America. Was the OP in Central America? If not, I think this would be inappropriate. I don't believe in forcing your customs on others. I also don't like strangers touching my dogs or kids. You don't know where their hands were last.
I think it is weird. If it happens in their country fine. Had she done it to my child, she would probably think twice before doing it to someone else.
If someone is from another culture they may not even consider it would be considered wrong. This is how things were when I was a kid and I am white. Things have changed so much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UserName14289
But she said nothing. No one knows what she was doing. People are making assumptions based on how she looks.
You knew the white women's intentions when they touched your babies hair?
This is a weird post though. Yesterday I was reading a post on if it was safe to walk with children in a stroller in Buenos Aires and the two warnings I read were to watch out for the dog poo in the sidewalks and that women will fawn all over children.
I think this is from a time when humans were more community oriented. I think in the US we have moved past community and keeping your children from it or not is a decision you have to make.
Latino Culture is more loving and friendly than others. My wife is Mexican. We have many friends and family that are Mexican and also many from Central and South America. We greet each other with hugs. This isn't just for the Holidays, heck at work many of the women employees will greet me with a hug and many times a kiss on the cheek. These ladies love little children. I say go with the flow.
There are several people on this forum who need to stay far away from the border states. They will be spending their children's early years screaming at Mexican women.
So you guys are ok with some man randomly touching your young daughter with no idea who he is? I guess that's alright too based on peoples reactions here.
So you guys are ok with some man running his hands through your young daughters hair and you have no idea who he is? I guess that's alright too based on peoples reactions here.
If he was warm and affectionate and not scary to stalkery...I'm pretty good at figuring out who is a creep and who isn't.
Over cleaning and being weary of people touching your kid are two different things. I don't obsess over germs in my house or car or from people I know, because I know the last time they were sick and what they were sick from. I know my house or car are dirty from normal stuff, not because someone vomited or spilled something gross on it or touched it without washing their hands after using the bathroom.
People can still spread disease after they are feeling better and even before they show symptoms of illness. Last year my son was too young to be vaccinated during that big measles outbreak. We had 7 confirmed cases and over 1000 people under observation where I live. My anti vax friend (who no longer speaks to me) got mad when I said we weren't going out anymore until he was old enough to get vaccinated. I rarely took him out during that time and only for necessary reasons. The only time I carry and use hand sanitizer is during flu season. How do I know that you didn't just come off of the flu and that your "innocent" touch isn't going to get my child severely ill during high times of infection? Sorry, not worth the risk to me. My kids have had plenty of colds, I let them get dirty and I don't over sanitize my house or medicate them, but random people touching their faces would not be okay with me.
And teaching kids about respecting personal space and that their space is their own is important. There are lots of articles about it.
You knew the person that kissed your daughter. You seriously would be okay with a completely random stranger kissing your baby? I doubt it. I would be uncomfortable if an acquaintance did that, but depending on the person I'd probably let it pass. A complete stranger? No flipping way!
Everything you say about strangers is also true about people you know. They can spread illness before they feel sick and after they're feeling better. They can be carrying a virus that even they don't know they have. They could have the flu even as they pick your child up for a snuggle and kiss on the cheek. They can skip hand-washing after using the restroom. And if your baby or toddler is in daycare or any kind of a playgroup, forget it. Those places are snot central.
As far as teaching children about respecting personal space, I'm all for that. But I don't think that a pat on the head by a smiling stranger who then goes on her way is setting them up for any kind of acceptance of inappropriate touching. It's just what it looks like--a brief, spontaneous show of affection. I'm not talking about "come over here Sweetie and sit on my lap," but just what the lady in the OP did. As adults we sometimes get hugs we don't particularly want, we are expected to shake hands, someone might offer us a hand stepping up or down off of something. As important as it is to teach kids that their space is important, it's also important to let them know there's no reason to freak out if a stranger gives them a casual touch.
I'm with you on the measles and would have done the same under the circumstances.
I don't know how I'd feel if a random stranger had kissed my daughter because I never had that happen. I would not have allowed a stranger to take her out of the cart for any reason, or watch her for me while I went to the restroom or anything like that. But I would not have been upset at a stranger doing what was described in the OP.
So you guys are ok with some man randomly touching your young daughter with no idea who he is? I guess that's alright too based on peoples reactions here.
So you guys are ok with some man randomly touching your young daughter with no idea who he is? I guess that's alright too based on peoples reactions here.
I wasn't bothered by the strange man that touched my daughter, it was only because she was uncomfortable with it then I made him stop.
Come to think of it, I often pat the kids on the head at my kid's daycare when I'm picking her up/dropping her off. They always come running over to me to tell me something or say hi.
An interesting thing happened when I was at target the other day.
Please tell me how/what you would have done in this instant.
I was with my wife and boys at target. My wife was waiting for some coffee at the Starbucks they have in the target and my boys and I were waiting for her. They were in their strollers with me. A lady( Hispanic, that will be of relevance later) while walking out of the store passed me then my boys and ran her hand through their hair. We don't know the lady at all. When I say ran her hands, I'm not saying just touched their head but ran, like carressing, their hair. I saw it and was in a little bit of shock like did that just happened. I called out to my wife, who is Hispanic, and let her know what happened. She saw the lady and just shook it off and later explained to me that in the Hispanic culture, they do that sometimes with young kids to wave off evil spirits.
I don't know how to feel about that. What would you say/ do? Thank you.
I think you should accept your wife's explanation and not worry about it. It was her way of saying that she thought your kids were irresistibly cute in her own cultural expression.
When my son was a baby, he had shaggy blond hair. Any time we went into Mexico, the women would fawn over him and want to finger his hair and admire it. It never bothered me because they were obviously friendly and admiring. Culturally, they love babies no matter what, but they really loved that golden hair.
Functionally, it is the equivalent of my stopping to look and cooing about how pretty your baby is. From a cultural standpoint in the USA we don't touch babies without permission, but we certainly admire them.
I think that as long as the woman was friendly that maybe you should let it slide, OP.
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