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Old 12-30-2015, 06:32 AM
 
741 posts, read 1,024,867 times
Reputation: 1198

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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Try switching to cloth diapers. She will find out in a hurry that cloth diapers quickly become "very cold and clammy" and uncomfortable.


I am not joking. That really works fast for some children.


Just like wearing regular underwear instead of those thick, absorbent disposable pull-ups will allow the child to "feel the wetness" (especially when it runs down their legs). I have seen children trained in one day when the parents switched to underwear instead of pull-ups. Or try underwear under pull ups if you don't want the mess the child will still feel that they are wet.
REALLY.


OMG YOU MAY BE A GENIUS
I am going to try this underwear under the diaper thing first!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Old 12-30-2015, 08:47 AM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
1,894 posts, read 1,077,482 times
Reputation: 1519
Our daughter has been potty trained (day time) since she was 2. We did a "potty training boot camp" over a holiday weekend with a stack of clean pants and underwear, kept her on hard floors the whole time. We'd give her plenty to drink, and ask 10-15 minutes later if she needed to potty. We'd put her on the potty then, sometimes she'd go, sometimes not.

Her first "accident" was a big shock. We just took her to the bathroom to sit on the toilet and said "you go on the potty, like this. See?" And she'd nod. Then she had another accident. She ended up having 3 accidents the first day. The second day, only one ("oh no daddy, I SPILLED!"). The third day, no accidents.

We never yelled at her, begged her to go, or forced her to sit on the potty while she was crying. We only tried to put her on the potty when she was crying once, and felt awful about it. That probably does more harm than good IMO. We also let her pick out which underwear she wants to wear that day, so she definitely doesn't want to get that dirty.

----------------------------

All that being said, I've also heard it's much harder to potty train boys. Our son is only 1, so check back in with me in a year to see if this method worked with him too. It's worth a shot with your son too.
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Old 12-30-2015, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,120 posts, read 3,636,143 times
Reputation: 13519
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayT15 View Post
When my son was almost 4 and still not potty trained, I thought he'd never get it! I was beyond stressed.

At the suggestion of my older friend whose son was also a late-trainer, I took him shopping and let him pick out superhero underwear. I told him he couldn't wear them until he started using the potty all the time, because that's what superheros do. Then I let it go. Kept him in pullups during the day, put him in diapers at night, didn't nag him. I only asked if he needed to use the potty before we left the house. Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. I left the underwear he picked out, still in its packaging, on a table in his bedroom so he could see it.

A week or two later, in the midst of an afternoon cookout we were having, he asked my husband to take him to the potty. It was the first time he ever asked, and I was in total shock. He used the potty every time the rest of the day and the day after, and he got to wear his new underwear the following day.

He's 26 now, and I pretty much laugh at myself for being so stressed out and thinking he'd still be wearing diapers today.
Kay, you get my vote for the BEST answer, (from the mother of two boys, now grown men)

One was easy, one was still pooping in his underware when he was 4. I'd go to put his track pants into the wash and dried poop would be stuck in the cuffs. Obviously, he'd walked around all day with it down there. He could have cared less... he had better things to do than waste time sitting on a toilet LOL!
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Old 12-30-2015, 11:03 AM
 
2,813 posts, read 1,397,610 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by numberfive View Post
Our daughter has been potty trained (day time) since she was 2. We did a "potty training boot camp" over a holiday weekend with a stack of clean pants and underwear, kept her on hard floors the whole time. We'd give her plenty to drink, and ask 10-15 minutes later if she needed to potty. We'd put her on the potty then, sometimes she'd go, sometimes not.

Her first "accident" was a big shock. We just took her to the bathroom to sit on the toilet and said "you go on the potty, like this. See?" And she'd nod. Then she had another accident. She ended up having 3 accidents the first day. The second day, only one ("oh no daddy, I SPILLED!"). The third day, no accidents.

We never yelled at her, begged her to go, or forced her to sit on the potty while she was crying. We only tried to put her on the potty when she was crying once, and felt awful about it. That probably does more harm than good IMO. We also let her pick out which underwear she wants to wear that day, so she definitely doesn't want to get that dirty.

----------------------------

All that being said, I've also heard it's much harder to potty train boys. Our son is only 1, so check back in with me in a year to see if this method worked with him too. It's worth a shot with your son too.
It's a fine method for most kids, but I doubt it will work with for the OP. For this method to work the kid has to want to potty train. My reluctant potty trainer will hold it for 8-9 hours until he is pale and has a low grade fever. Then he'd just go. Not in the potty.

Some kids are really reluctant to leave diapers. Germaine's advice about cloth diapers/underwear under diapers is probably the best method in this case.
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Old 12-30-2015, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Pennsylvania
8,963 posts, read 3,118,603 times
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Thanks for everyone who responded. He's making some improvement, slowly.


Pull ups vs underwear doesn't seem to matter. If he doesn't want to go potty, he won't go no matter what he's wearing. We've also done the pull ups over the underwear thing in order to save the clothing.


Maybe he'll have it down by the time he turns 4, that is in June.
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Old 12-30-2015, 12:04 PM
 
2,746 posts, read 3,916,254 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeerGeek40 View Post
Thanks for everyone who responded. He's making some improvement, slowly.


Pull ups vs underwear doesn't seem to matter. If he doesn't want to go potty, he won't go no matter what he's wearing. We've also done the pull ups over the underwear thing in order to save the clothing.


Maybe he'll have it down by the time he turns 4, that is in June.

Some children, especially boys, are not biologically ready for toilet training. Relax, let him use pull-ups & one day he'll just stop needing the pull-ups. He'll let you know when he's ready.
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Old 12-31-2015, 11:26 AM
 
354 posts, read 732,632 times
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My older son was the same way. He was ok with #1 on the potty but #2 took much longer. It eventually go to the point where he would bring his diaper to me and ask me to put it on him so he could go. Our pediatrician suggested allowing him to take an electronic into the bathroom with him so he could be distracted as he went. Also, make sure she is comfortable on the potty and that she has a stool under her feet to make it a good height. Honestly though I could never find the "magical" tip that would help my son to potty train. I eventually gave up trying different things and just let him do his thing with the diaper. One day he just decided he was ready to go on the potty and didn't look back. Eventually they get old enough to be embarrassed that they are going in their pants. Hang in there!
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Old 01-01-2016, 07:26 PM
 
906 posts, read 1,170,931 times
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Our son was quick to learn #1 (when he was 2) but struggled with #2 for months. He flat out refused to poop in the potty, but he at least asked for a pull-up when he needed to have a BM (and did not poop in his underwear, as the OP is struggling with). We did not push him and allowed him to use pull-ups until it was more obvious that he wanted to try to push it out on the potty. When he started showing interest in doing #2 on the potty, we just encouraged him to sit for 5 minutes on the potty before giving him the pull-up. He eventually started to prefer using the potty for #2, especially when he realized how much easier it is to be cleaned up afterwards.

Once he started using the potty for #2, we struggled with him using it consistently. While he would not ask for a pull-up any more, he did occasionally start to hold it in, especially when he was stressed out about something. We used a reward chart (and the promise of a toy after the chart was filled) to encourage him to go everyday. Its worked very well and he has been fully potty trained since a few months after his 3rd birthday.

I would strongly advise against negative consequences or punishment when potty training. It will just cause more problems down the line (like holding it in and constipation). Stick to positive encouragement, reward charts, "bribes", whatever it takes to get them to master the skill.
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Old 01-02-2016, 09:55 AM
 
Location: Nashville, TN
1,894 posts, read 1,077,482 times
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Here is a look into your potential future if you negatively reinforce potty training.

Kind of a scary scenario. Please be kind of you reply in that other thread, most parents are only trying to do the right thing.
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Old 01-15-2016, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Santa Rosa, CA
115 posts, read 179,330 times
Reputation: 102
This is something I'm struggling with as well with my 4 1/2 year old son. He's at the point now where he exclusively does #2 in the toilet with 0 problems (has been for a while) and is perfectly capable of doing #1 too, but refuses to stop wearing diapers/pull-ups and won't voluntarily use the toilet for #1 if in pull-ups. We've tried everything, including a reward system where he gets a marble in a jar equivalent to 10 cents each for every time he uses the toilet to spend on toys or whatever, and 5 marbles if he agrees to wear underwear. He absolutely hates and refuses to wear underwear (we've tried all kinds) and will have horrific freak outs about it if forced, and won't wear simple loose pants (like sweats) without anything underneath. He insists on wearing the diaper/pull-up as he says he likes how it feels better. I talked at length with our doctor about it and he advised us to not force the issue, that kids at this age are all over the place developmentally with regards to this issue and he is still within the normal range, and that doing anything negative like shaming/punishing would probably lead to worse problems and even more delays. So I'm just trying to keep positively reinforcing him, and not push it for now. I just hope he gets it on his own before he has to start kindergarten this fall...I might take stronger measures this summer if necessary. I also might try switching to cloth diapers or putting a liner that's less absorbent in the pull-ups so he feels the wetness/clamminess more. I do agree it's very frustrating!
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