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Old 12-27-2015, 03:27 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
Reputation: 35582

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Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
If you were there and saw the look on a 5 year old's face getting baby books when his sister is getting nice gifts, you wouldn't dare say his behavior was rude. You should have read the rest of my post and you would have seen that it was not rude, but a very intuitive child who knows he's being treated unfairly. And the main issue was that they were baby books. He received more than 50 books from me and Santa, and he loved them all because they were books he could read and grow into. Baby books are not an appropriate book for a 5 year old.

I did read your complete post. Regardless of the situation his response was not appropriate. Now he was 5 ( which was not mentioned) so I understand that things can be blurted out before they realize it, but that response was unacceptable and rude.
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:28 PM
 
12,922 posts, read 19,809,103 times
Reputation: 33959
Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
If you were there and saw the look on a 5 year old's face getting baby books when his sister is getting nice gifts, you wouldn't dare say his behavior was rude. You should have read the rest of my post and you would have seen that it was not rude, but a very intuitive child who knows he's being treated unfairly. And the main issue was that they were baby books. He received more than 50 books from me and Santa, and he loved them all because they were books he could read and grow into. Baby books are not an appropriate book for a 5 year old.
No, it's still rude. Five is not to young to understand that the only acceptable thing to say to the gift giver is "thank you".
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:31 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,082 posts, read 16,908,498 times
Reputation: 9499
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
I did read your complete post. Regardless of the situation his response was not appropriate. Now he was 5 ( which was not mentioned) so I understand that things can be blurted out before they realize it, but that response was unacceptable and rude.
Yes, it was mentioned, as age is always used to put things into perspective when telling a story, and yes, they blurt things out when they shouldn't, and his behavior was corrected and he did say thank you, but he also asked why he only got books and she got other things, and I allowed the behavior because my in-laws need to learn to treat them equally and it sounds better coming from him than from me since my husband rather throw their gifts away than tell them to get better things.
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:34 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
Reputation: 35582
Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
Yes, it was mentioned, as age is always used to put things into perspective when telling a story, and yes, they blurt things out when they shouldn't, and his behavior was corrected and he did say thank you, but he also asked why he only got books and she got other things, and I allowed the behavior because my in-laws need to learn to treat them equally and it sounds better coming from him than from me since my husband rather throw their gifts away than tell them to get better things.

If you want to have an adult conversation with you in laws then do so. Allowing your child to behave badly to make your point is not only the cowards way out of being a grownup, but it sends the wrong message to your child.
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:35 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
No, it's still rude. Five is not to young to understand that the only acceptable thing to say to the gift giver is "thank you".
Exactly.
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:39 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,082 posts, read 16,908,498 times
Reputation: 9499
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciesmom View Post
If you want to have an adult conversation with you in laws then do so. Allowing your child to behave badly to make your point is not only the cowards way out of being a grownup, but it sends the wrong message to your child.
My husband will not "allow" me to have the conversation with them because, as I said, he rather just take the trash gifts and throw them away. He also knows she won't change.
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Old 12-27-2015, 03:44 PM
 
Location: Denver area
21,142 posts, read 22,127,166 times
Reputation: 35582
Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest View Post
My husband will not "allow" me to have the conversation with them because, as I said, he rather just take the trash gifts and throw them away. He also knows she won't change.
Ok, but teaching your child that rudeness is acceptable when you don't like a gift or are disappointed is not the answer to that. Burdening your child with poor manners harms him more than the inlaws.
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Old 12-27-2015, 04:47 PM
 
10,090 posts, read 6,503,366 times
Reputation: 23714
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
I bought my grandson 2 books. The total was $55.00. Some books are inexpensive compared to toys, but not children's hardcovers. I admit, I was floored looking at some of the prices on the book jackets.
Yeah you can get an expensive book. I know totally. I included the price because it was a small paper back that is way past first edition. Ive never even heard of it.
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Old 12-27-2015, 05:00 PM
 
Location: Maryland
912 posts, read 593,221 times
Reputation: 1078
Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Tell the Grandparents to choose equal gifts or no gifts and quit making Christmas about the gifts.
Take this opportunity to teach your children how to give graciously of their time and resources to make things a wee bit better for someone else.
But this is different than being gracious. Someone can be gracious and still feel maybe less important between siblings when they aren't treated similarly. Both children can get $40 gifts, $5 gifts, or no gifts. It's not about the gift or the children being gracious. It's about the adults treating children the same, not making one child more special than the other. I'm an only child, my son is an only child at the moment, and even I get that concept. I'm not sure why it's getting lost on many on this thread.
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Old 12-27-2015, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Central IL
13,397 posts, read 7,146,559 times
Reputation: 31136
Quote:
Originally Posted by WildColonialGirl View Post
Not really. Books are very cheap, and decent toys are relatively expensive.
.....riiiii-iiiight...so the typical thing would be to give a couple books since they're cheaper...unless the kids are SO young that they equate the number of gifts to the amount. Which I don't think a late elementary school kid would do, but what do I know.
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