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Old 12-31-2015, 01:14 AM
 
Location: NY in body, Mayberry in spirit.
2,553 posts, read 1,626,991 times
Reputation: 5826

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
You know what is interesting? Nearly everyone is so quick to side with the OP (about the parents, not the applauding) but when I'm out in the world, I rarely (if EVER) have seen a child CRYING for 30 minutes while the parents simply ignore them. People on here act like they see this all time?!

I call bull.

Kid probably fussed for a minute--maybe 2--and OP and the grumpy guy next to him got all hot and bothered. OP's dining companion also found it annoying (totally fine--we all get annoyed by other human beings from time to time) but OP's companion had the good sense to know that it was temporary and not worth getting all worked up over. The mother was right: her son is young and still learning how to behave. What is the old man and the OP's excuse for such poor behavior. If you can't tolerate bothersome stimuli--its on YOU to find an appropriate way to handle the situation.

Why is it that kids (and their parents) get singled out for insult after minor disturbances, when otherwise decent people don't go around verbally smacking down every other annoying behavior people do in public?? Like the jerks who smoke right outside doorways? Or the loud drunks, like another poster mentioned? Or those obnoxious high pitched laughers, I believe the same poster also mentioned? Or dummies who walk in the center of a grocery aisle or parking lot? Or who cross the road diagonally, there by slowing everyone else down longer?

Oh, wait. I know why...

Because you're cowardly bullies, and would never treat another adult or a group of adults this way. Not because you were "raised right" but because you're scared of retaliation. Kids and their stressed out parents are vulnerable targets for your displaced rage.
Stressed out parents don't have the right to subject others to their stressful kids. We seldom ate out when kids were small. We chose to have them, we were willing to sacrifice some activities when necessary. Just selfish, arrogant, ignorant parents, that's it.

BTW, getting all tough and calling people cowardly bullies as an anonymous poster...pot, meet kettle.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:01 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
13,161 posts, read 7,403,965 times
Reputation: 27262
Quote:
Originally Posted by DutchessCottonPuff View Post
I'd take a screaming kid over a table of drunk women (or men) any day which has happened to me and alot of us - and yeah the clapping was just as childish as the kid screaming .
I don't like either. My wife and I were on an all adult cruise a month ago and were unlucky enough to be seated at a table full of loudmouthed women. And by loud, I mean LOUD. One of the women was monopolizing the conversation, and (I use the term "conversation" loosely, all the women were drinking a lot, and the one talking all the time was of course the loudest. Fortunately, we switched to the other seating time, so we never had to sit near them at dinner again.

As for loud kids, there's no reason for parents to allow them to throw longstanding tantrums at restaurants, but I'm understanding about this problem on airplanes because parents have no place to take them and it can be very difficult for them to soothe bored, uncomfortable babies on long flights. So I bring earplugs, music, and an ample supply of Xanax so I'm prepared for that event
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:29 AM
 
224 posts, read 322,794 times
Reputation: 358
I run into this all the time lately. It drives me crazy so I just don't eat out anymore.

The child is the parents responsibility. If the kid starts screaming, make him be quiet or take him outside. That is what a responsible parent does.

If I sit my phone on the table and it starts making annoying noises at full volume, can I just shrug my shoulders if someone complains? No. It's mine, so it's my job to make it not annoying to the people around me.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:33 AM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
6,908 posts, read 4,229,909 times
Reputation: 8882
We're not old school, and I don't have a positive opinion of "old school" methods of parenting. But I do not like causing a scene. I already deal with anxiety in these sort of situations, so drawing more attention to myself/us is not something I care to do in any situation.

Crying babies/toddlers is one of them. A crying baby is one thing, and the same for a young toddler <18 months, but screaming/conniption is another. I actually didn't have to deal with full blown tantrums with my older kids. Sure, they whined, teared up or got sad when they were disappointed by not getting something they wanted at the store or whatever, but tantrum? Nope. It just wasn't their personality or temperament. My son would test boundaries and act annoying, but I never dealt with these sort of tantrums, but I was fully prepared to leave as soon as or soon after it started if they did occur.

We've done this with our youngest when she was a baby. Whenever we were out to eat and she got restless or overly tired and started fussing or crying one of us would try to redirect and then take her outside if that didn't work. That has been my go-to method. I don't like tantrums and fits. I can understand why they happen, but I also realize it's best to take the child to a different location to cool down.
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Old 12-31-2015, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,035 posts, read 7,203,353 times
Reputation: 49976
Quote:
Originally Posted by Melodica View Post
Oh please, a spanking is hardly assault. I got my butt beaten with a belt until I bruised by my father when I was two for having a temper tantrum. He never had to lay another hand on me.
I remember the entire thing clearly to this day. Am I traumatized? Nope. Do I hate my father? Nope.



Oh, so since you popped out some children you have more rights to go out and people who want a nice quiet meal should stay home? Give me a break. If you can't control your child, why don't YOU stay home? And in regards to stress... oh well. It is a choice to have children. If they stress you out, that's your problem. It shouldn't have to be everyone else's.

This mindset that children can do no wrong and everyone should cater to them is just sickening. It's no wonder that the majority of them are brats with no respect for anyone.

Wow, just wow. I've actually never "popped out some children." Do you actually condone beating a two year old having a temper tantrum? Yikes. I don't think trying to soothe a young one with kind words having a melt down in public is "catering" to them. I think yelling at them and beating them into being frightened of you is not my definition of good parenting either. Last night we were at this nice mom and pop Italian restaurant and there were kids all over the place. There was this adorable 2 year old that kept coming up to our table. The parents apologized but we told them that we didn't mind. He cried a couple of times and ran off a couple of times. So what. Kids are people too you know and they just don't have good social skills when they're young. How do you learn good social skills? Well it's not by being kept at home because you're afraid of offending some crabby pants expecting restaurants to be like their living rooms. I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child and that we should help one another. I personally enjoyed having the little one come to our table. He was adorable and his parents were very nice as well. "It's no wonder the vast majority of them are brats with no respect for anyone." OMG, what happened to you to make you so cynical? No really. I wish there was some way I could help you. I have many teenagers and kids in my life. Are they fallible? No more then you or I, but they're all nice kids. I suggest you may be a tad wrong with that entitled mentality that the world should conform to your need for quiet in PUBLIC places. Maybe you're the one that should stay home. I'll go to the restaurants and enjoy the energy the young ones bring. They make me and since no one and nothing is perfect you have to adjust and take the good with the bad.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:01 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,035 posts, read 7,203,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
1000x YES!!!

Thank you for adding your wisdom and kindness to this thread--and the world


Thank you. You're very kind. I totally love having shorties around.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:08 AM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
84,977 posts, read 98,832,039 times
Reputation: 31386
Quote:
Originally Posted by AfternoonCoffee View Post
You know what is interesting? Nearly everyone is so quick to side with the OP (about the parents, not the applauding) but when I'm out in the world, I rarely (if EVER) have seen a child CRYING for 30 minutes while the parents simply ignore them. People on here act like they see this all time?!

I call bull.
I agree! I've never seen that either.

Last edited by Katarina Witt; 12-31-2015 at 10:16 AM..
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,035 posts, read 7,203,353 times
Reputation: 49976
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrluckycharms View Post
This is why I am so glad I have reached the point in my life where I can afford to fly first class and dine only in fine dining establishments. I chuckle when a mother with her 3 offspring board a plane I am on and little Johnny says, " Mommy let's sit here. These seats are so big!!!"

No, No little Johnny. Back of the plane for you . Run along now!

Aren't the people in the front of the plane less likely to survive a plane crash? It seems to me that some studies have shown that it's safest in the tail section where us paupers with their noisy kids sit. Leave it to the rich to pay exorbitant fees to be the first to die I'll be the one holding Johnny's hand as the plane goes down and we're the first ones out of the tail section that broke free sparing us all. Okay I'm being silly but I just couldn't resist. That and I kept thinking about how much safer we would be in the tail section when we flew first class. You can have it. It's not worth the extra money.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:11 AM
 
5,761 posts, read 3,043,495 times
Reputation: 15097
The answer to this is really simple. Some people get it. Some don't and continue to argue to the extreme to avoid accepting it.


a. Yes, kids will act up. The parents just remove them from the situation until they stop. Period. No one is complaining about kids doing something or the parents who show good parenting skills and remove them.


b. Some parents refuse to show those good parenting skills and proceed to demonstrate it to all around. And others continue to support their bad parenting by blaming those who are the victims of it rather than them.


From a very early age our kids learned to behave in public (not just restaurants) or we took them out. They learned quickly that they had more fun by eating properly. Even when very young they noticed the kids who spent the meal screaming and wondered why their parents didn't take them outside. No magic bullet. No parenting secret. Just do it.
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Old 12-31-2015, 10:14 AM
 
996 posts, read 668,154 times
Reputation: 3541
Quote:
Originally Posted by animalcrazy View Post
Wow, just wow. I've actually never "popped out some children." Do you actually condone beating a two year old having a temper tantrum? Yikes. I don't think trying to soothe a young one with kind words having a melt down in public is "catering" to them. I think yelling at them and beating them into being frightened of you is not my definition of good parenting either. Last night we were at this nice mom and pop Italian restaurant and there were kids all over the place. There was this adorable 2 year old that kept coming up to our table. The parents apologized but we told them that we didn't mind. He cried a couple of times and ran off a couple of times. So what. Kids are people too you know and they just don't have good social skills when they're young. How do you learn good social skills? Well it's not by being kept at home because you're afraid of offending some crabby pants expecting restaurants to be like their living rooms. I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child and that we should help one another. I personally enjoyed having the little one come to our table. He was adorable and his parents were very nice as well. "It's no wonder the vast majority of them are brats with no respect for anyone." OMG, what happened to you to make you so cynical? No really. I wish there was some way I could help you. I have many teenagers and kids in my life. Are they fallible? No more then you or I, but they're all nice kids. I suggest you may be a tad wrong with that entitled mentality that the world should conform to your need for quiet in PUBLIC places. Maybe you're the one that should stay home. I'll go to the restaurants and enjoy the energy the young ones bring. They make me and since no one and nothing is perfect you have to adjust and take the good with the bad.
I dont condone beating a child but I also don't believe in it takes a village to raise my kids either. They were my responsibility and my job to teach them manners. I would take them out and home when they act out. It is never ok to let a child wander to strangers tables even if that is ok with them. You start teaching children manners at home. We taught them to sit at the table and didn't let them get up and run around at home so they didn't do it in a restaurant. Also it is not safe, you have servers carrying hot plates. Try being a server trying to dodge kids with a hot platter.
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