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Old 12-29-2015, 06:29 PM
 
358 posts, read 323,888 times
Reputation: 237

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I was out to dinner with another person tonight at a casual steakhouse, and the restaurant was empty because we were there early. Across the dining room was a two or three year-old little boy who was screaming and crying so loudly that you could've heard it from outside. I'm not sure why he was acting this way, but the parents were simply ignoring it, shushing him softly every now and then. He was also running around. It was aggravating me to no end and the person I was eating with as well. The tantrum went on for a good twenty to thirty minutes, and an angry man in the booth behind us tried to get the attention of the child's mother, but he was ignored. His waitress came over and politely asked if the man needed something, and he said to her, "I can't eat with this screaming going on, and I was wondering if something could be done to stop it." The waitress really couldn't do anything about it, and the child's mother heard this and yelled, "He's just a baby!" I applauded loudly after the man complained, and the person I was eating with yelled at me, saying that the complainer was a jerk and that I am too if I agree with him. That didn't change my opinion at all, and nothing will. If I wasn't eating with anybody else, I would've said something also, and I'm glad this guy stepped up. The parents did eventually take the child outside and he calmed down. Opinions?
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,003 posts, read 37,656,456 times
Reputation: 73578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooklynnetman View Post
I was out to dinner with another person tonight at a casual steakhouse, and the restaurant was empty because we were there early. Across the dining room was a two or three year-old little boy who was screaming and crying so loudly that you could've heard it from outside. I'm not sure why he was acting this way, but the parents were simply ignoring it, shushing him softly every now and then. He was also running around. It was aggravating me to no end and the person I was eating with as well. The tantrum went on for a good twenty to thirty minutes, and an angry man in the booth behind us tried to get the attention of the child's mother, but he was ignored. His waitress came over and politely asked if the man needed something, and he said to her, "I can't eat with this screaming going on, and I was wondering if something could be done to stop it." The waitress really couldn't do anything about it, and the child's mother heard this and yelled, "He's just a baby!" I applauded loudly after the man complained, and the person I was eating with yelled at me, saying that the complainer was a jerk and that I am too if I agree with him. That didn't change my opinion at all, and nothing will. If I wasn't eating with anybody else, I would've said something also, and I'm glad this guy stepped up. The parents did eventually take the child outside and he calmed down. Opinions?
What can the server do, REALLY?

Usually, if a baby's crying could be STOPPED, the parents would already have done that. It's not as if people go out to dinner hoping their kid starts screaming. So if it's happening, in MOST cases, the parents are trying to shovel the rest of their food down so they can get the hell out of there.

Sometimes you have clueless parents who let their kids carry on, and if the kids was actually running around they might have been this clueless type.

The few times this happened to us, my husband would take the crying kid outside while I got food boxed up and settled the check. I am not a parent who thinks, "Oh, well, babies cry. It's what they do." We always tried to minimize all possible causes of crying, but it of course does happen.

Complain to the server? All that does is put them in a no-win situation.

Applauding the guy who did complain? That's passive-aggressive piling on.
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:43 PM
 
747 posts, read 379,785 times
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It's possible that the server may not have been "allowed" to say anything to the screaming child's parents......going by how things are with my job at a library, only specific staff members can intervene in a situation like that.
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:45 PM
 
358 posts, read 323,888 times
Reputation: 237
I should add that I understand that the server cannot do anything, nor would I expect them to. It would be up to the manager. But I think that the guy had a right to complain in general so that the parents would get the hint or the server would get the manager to step in.
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Old 12-29-2015, 06:57 PM
 
358 posts, read 323,888 times
Reputation: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
What can the server do, REALLY?

Usually, if a baby's crying could be STOPPED, the parents would already have done that. It's not as if people go out to dinner hoping their kid starts screaming. So if it's happening, in MOST cases, the parents are trying to shovel the rest of their food down so they can get the hell out of there.

Sometimes you have clueless parents who let their kids carry on, and if the kids was actually running around they might have been this clueless type.

The few times this happened to us, my husband would take the crying kid outside while I got food boxed up and settled the check. I am not a parent who thinks, "Oh, well, babies cry. It's what they do." We always tried to minimize all possible causes of crying, but it of course does happen.

Complain to the server? All that does is put them in a no-win situation.

Applauding the guy who did complain? That's passive-aggressive piling on.
I understand that the server cannot do anything. But the parents were clearly clueless because it took this guy complaining for them to finally bring him outside. I don't know why my eating partner thought that he was a jerk when he was just as annoyed as me at the screaming a few minutes before.
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Old 12-29-2015, 07:44 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,003 posts, read 37,656,456 times
Reputation: 73578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooklynnetman View Post
I understand that the server cannot do anything. But the parents were clearly clueless because it took this guy complaining for them to finally bring him outside. I don't know why my eating partner thought that he was a jerk when he was just as annoyed as me at the screaming a few minutes before.
The mom overheard the guy complaining, and that's what got them outside. The server didn't do anything.

If it had been a table of women laughing loudly for 30 minutes, should someone have complained? Or guys telling bawdy jokes loudly enough to be heard?

What if it had been a large group with annoying, nasal voices or accents??? Should THOSE people be asked to leave?

Until you have a kid, you don't know what it's like. All parents are different, and they parent differently. Some people (like us) jump up at the first peep. Others are SO used to a higher noise level that they don't get why it bothers people SO much.

I hate passive-aggressive people, and so I would advocate for speaking directly to the parents, not the server. But APPLAUDING after the dude complained??? That's just a d*ck move.
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Old 12-29-2015, 08:10 PM
 
358 posts, read 323,888 times
Reputation: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
The mom overheard the guy complaining, and that's what got them outside. The server didn't do anything.

If it had been a table of women laughing loudly for 30 minutes, should someone have complained? Or guys telling bawdy jokes loudly enough to be heard?

What if it had been a large group with annoying, nasal voices or accents??? Should THOSE people be asked to leave?

Until you have a kid, you don't know what it's like. All parents are different, and they parent differently. Some people (like us) jump up at the first peep. Others are SO used to a higher noise level that they don't get why it bothers people SO much.

I hate passive-aggressive people, and so I would advocate for speaking directly to the parents, not the server. But APPLAUDING after the dude complained??? That's just a d*ck move.
The mother was actually very angry at first and yelled at the guy, saying, "He's just a baby!" But she and her husband still took the child outside to satisfy him and me. Just for the record, the parents didn't say anything to me, but the person I was eating with was angry with me for agreeing and completely disagreed with the complainer.
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Old 12-29-2015, 08:17 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
39,003 posts, read 37,656,456 times
Reputation: 73578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooklynnetman View Post
The mother was actually very angry at first and yelled at the guy, saying, "He's just a baby!" But she and her husband still took the child outside to satisfy him and me. Just for the record, the parents didn't say anything to me, but the person I was eating with was angry with me for agreeing and completely disagreed with the complainer.
For the record, nobody likes screaming babies in restaurants. But in YOUR scenario I think the person you were eating with was angry because clapping like that was rude and uncalled for.

That's like the mooks who just snort and giggle in the background while the ring leader of the gang is picking on someone.

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Old 12-29-2015, 08:23 PM
 
Location: IN
1,928 posts, read 736,215 times
Reputation: 3542
Inconsiderate selfish clueless jerk parents is my take.

I raised 4. Old school style. They could be taken to restaurants, churches, on airplanes and they knew to be quiet and behave. At the young age of the child in the OP, they would be spoken to in a firm enough voice if they acted up, to stop the behavior immediately. If they persisted a trip to the bathroom or car would follow with an appropriate result. In no circumstance were they permitted to disrupt the peace of a public place.

Not saying I was an A-1 stellar Mother, I was a lousy Mother in a lot of ways, but not in the teaching and enforcing of good behavior dept. I got compliments all the time on how well behaved and ploite they were.

Your applauding was tacky. I would have spoken to the parents directly and politely.
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Old 12-29-2015, 08:26 PM
 
358 posts, read 323,888 times
Reputation: 237
Quote:
Originally Posted by OverItAll View Post
Inconsiderate selfish clueless jerk parents is my take.

I raised 4. Old school style. They could be taken to restaurants, churches, on airplanes and they knew to be quiet and behave. At the young age of the child in the OP, they would be spoken to in a firm enough voice if they acted up, to stop the behavior immediately. If they persisted a trip to the bathroom or car would follow with an appropriate result. In no circumstance were they permitted to disrupt the peace of a public place.

Not saying I was an A-1 stellar Mother, I was a lousy Mother in a lot of ways, but not in the teaching and enforcing of good behavior dept. I got compliments all the time on how well behaved and ploite they were.

Your applauding was tacky. I would have spoken to the parents directly and politely.
I'm pretty sure you understood, but the person I was eating with was mainly angry at the guy who complained, but also was appalled that I agreed with him. And the mother was angry with the man who complained, not with me. Nobody acknowledged my applause at all, only the complainer.
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